A Preemptive Strike By Leslie

*Comes out of the Panic Room and surveys the carnage: Jess lays, strapped to the Frankenstein table from "Monster Movie", nearly comatose; Emily is passed out at the control board, her paralyzed hands still gripping the lever; Calmly, Leslie takes her seat in an odd-looking armchair with a lightbulb attached at the top*

Well, I suppose my turn had to be coming, hadn't it? But since the two are... *ahem* indisposed for the moment, I believe this is my opportunity to conduct my own interview with impunity. Ready?

1. Primary Fandom? Off the top of my head, as far as famous fandoms go, I would certainly say Sherlock ... But really, that's a class unto itself, rooted in a long tradition with expert show runners. As far as "regular" shows that I avidly follow and have seen every episode at least twice and am deeply immersed in all the fandom and fanfiction at LEAST as ardently as Emily is devoted to Supernatural, it would be Grimm.

Why in the world would you choose that show? Bias, obviously--it's filmed and set in my area! But, aside from the setting, I am deeply a fan of the awesome writing--from the development of the protagonists and the consistency of the villains, to the inventive story arcs and the fact that it's been three seasons and there is still lore from the first season that has yet to be pursued. I am convinced that it certainly has the potential to be every bit as amazing as Supernatural.

2. Secret fandom crush? What the... How the heck did that get in here? [looks between the two comatose girls, secretly suspecting that one or the other (or both) might be a poltergeist] Oh brother... I guess I had it coming, didn't I? Well guess what... It's Gabriel Vaughn, from the little-known show, Intelligence. (Don't know him? Bummer! Hey, it's not my fault a perfectly good show got cancelled by the time it got its legs under it!)

Yeah, I know... Somebody that good-looking would be an obvious choice... but I'm not the kind of girl who is a sucker for good-looking men, because there are a LOT of hot jerks out there, am I right? 

So... Why him? Because I adore his portrayal: he is chivalrous, snarky, strong, humble—and a solid team player to boot! If there is anybody I'd want to have my back in a dangerous situation, it's him.  I always love that when a protagonist is actually moral. Nothing sullies a good crush like rooting for a guy who would not be the sort of guy you would date in real life.

3. Favorite character couple? Hmm, I might have to go with Detective Kevin Ryan and his wife Jenny on Castle--even though she's only been on a few times, with him being a secondary character and all. But the relationship is fantastic. THEY ARE TOTALLY THE CUTEST COUPLE ON TV!!!

Really? What makes you say that? Well, for starters, they're a real-life couple--and the chemistry really shows. And in an era of television where it seems like so many shows ride on romantic ambiguity, the existence of a solid relationship in a show is a thing of beauty. (And considering that it's ABC--the most notorious offender for Unnecessary Romantic Angst--it's even more remarkable!)
   

4. You mentioned earlier that you write fanfiction; what kind of fanfiction do you write? Mostly it's "fan-made episodes" of shows that I really like, the ones that have plenty of lore for me to work with. So when I write a fanfiction, you're going to get a complete story.

How many fanfics have you published? I've started 25, to date. Twenty-one of them I managed to complete, and the other four are still in progress.

Holy smokes! Any of them one-shots? Nope, not a one; my shortest fic is 5K+.

Which fandoms? Well, let's see: I have Merlin, Batman, Warehouse 13, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Stargate SG-1, Chronicles of Narnia, Intelligence, Grimm, Once Upon A Time, Eureka, A Gifted Man, Percy Jackson, Haven... and I most recently started a Supernatural/Grimm crossover.

I don't see any Sherlock or Doctor Who in there.... I am convinced I will never be good enough to write a Sherlock episode. You might as well get me to write an entire feature-length film. Nope, never gonna happen. And there is some Doctor Who... I did a Stargate SG-1/Doctor Who crossover, but it didn't really work out and it kinda got picked on a lot because I am definitely a bigger Stargate fan than a Whovian. 

HERESY! Sorry, that's just the way it is.

Do you do any shipping of different characters than the original show, just to see what happens--or maybe because you disagree with a ship that happened? No; I'm really not a fan of fluffy smut, and I don't really do any non-canon shipping in any of my fanfics. It's just good, canon fun, the "Episodes That Should Have Aired", as I like to call them.

Hmph, well okay, moving on...

5. Best finale ever? Eureka's Grand Show Finale.

Really? Yep.

Not even going to think about it? Nope.

Yeah right... I bet you'd break down crying if I mention the R-Word. What R-word?

Reichenbach. HA! Well, I'll admit, that got me pretty good... but as I said before, I regard Sherlock as a class all of its own... hence it's just Eureka versus the rest of TVLand. And Eureka wins.

Why? If you haven't seen the show, you won't get it... but believe me when I say I had the BIGGEST FREAKOUT OF MY LIFE (Pre-Sherlock, of course) when it ended... but in a good way... and no other show finale has even come close. 

Suddenly, over by the lever, an errant spark flickers at Emily's fingertips, and she drags herself upright.....

Oh boy.... here it comes....

Oh Leslie, What About Mal From Firefly/Serenity? (Also Known As Richard Castle, Captain Hammer, and Hermes?) What are your thoughts on him? Nathan Fillion? Brilliant man... absolutely stunning actor, he can deliver the most screwball lines with absolute sincerity, and evidently he's the same great guy off set and on... Richard Castle has to be his best role, though; he gets to be a father, a romantic... and I'm pretty sure he nails the "writer" psyche pretty dang well...

The great thing about Nathan is that he has been a part of so many big-ticket items (and he knows it) so practically every appearance since Firefly has contained some reference to another show. (Like all the Firefly references on Castle--plus some guest appearances by Zoe Washburne and Jayne!--and when Hermes assures Percy Jackson that "Hercules Busts Heads" is the "Best show on television... except Castle.") He totally does it. (Incidentally, the Richard Castle novels are jam-packed with references to the show! It's hilarious!)

Favorite SPN episode that you have seen? Gee whiz, it's always about SPN for you, isn't it? *eye roll* Well... for laughs I would have to go with The French Mistake, obviously... But as far as the dynamic between the brothers and really delving into motivations and psyche in a truly AMAZING way, I'd have to say After-School Special. Just, you know, accentuating the difference between how Dean views life outside of hunting as... really, as what he says in Slash Fiction: "I deserve something good in my life right now." He is convinced that what he does while hunting makes him such an amazing guy and a perfectly irresistible hero that it doesn't matter what he does in his "me-time." Whereas Sam, even at that young age, around people they will only see for about a month and then never again, is still looking out for kids who are getting picked on, looking for the kids who need his help. 

Favourite Buffy character and/or episode? (Haha... Told ya you'd like that series...) Spike, duh. James Marsters is the reason I started watching Buffy! (after his guest appearance on my favorite show at the time, Warehouse 13) His accent is wonderful, and he's got such a panache and flair in his delivery, and his comedic timing is dead-on. He knows how to "sail the dream-boat" without preening and making all serious fangirls gag; he's a "villain" but he's too likeable and noble to really be hated ever at all!

Bored, Emily starts fiddling with buttons on the control panel. She strikes one, and Jess stirs...

Why do you love Nathan so much? What is the thing you see in him that makes you go back for more? Geesh, excited much? No really, the thing I love most about Nathan is his impeccable delivery. He can find himself in the strangest situation and he handles it perfectly. There is not a missed beat, a dropped word--and his ad-libbing is a thing of beauty. The thing that keeps me coming back to shows like Castle is the absolute assurance he has given that he can deliver the most shoddy writing with total conviction. He's just an all-around great guy who receives marvelous roles and knows how to entertain viewers without resorting to juvenile tactics, potty humor, or nudity (except when some corn-ball writer can't help himself.... but even then, Nathan owns it without the slightest hesitation)

What are your thoughts on Caskett? Early on in the show, I remember groaning, "Oh dear sweet mother of pie, not another one!" But then... 

As it turned out, the writers managed to take "yet another romantic fling" and turn it into a thing of beauty. It starts out cliche, but--unlike so many TV relationships--it actually works out, and it's obvious that both sides are willing to do whatever it takes to stay together, instead of calling it quits and packing it in the minute the going gets tough. There is a lot to be learned from being able to write a leading couple like that!

Who is your favorite character in Grimm? Yay Grimm!! I'd have to say...

 Sean Renard... and not because of the shirtless factor... I'm actually a super-fan of the actor, Sasha Roiz. My choice of Renard is also due to the fantastic writing.

Renard served as the "Villain Enabler" for Season 1--and so of course I hated him. HATED. HIM. SO. BADLY. He was in league with all the bad guys and he was powerful, and he was able to use his authority to make things difficult for the hero.

Season 2 brought on a love triangle--which in every other show spells the kiss of death for the hero who has basically felt that he has to lie and keep his alternate ego a secret because he's afraid of losing his girl... and then of course her lack of knowledge threatens her life and their relationship... but Renard (the second man of the triangle) responds to the goings on LIKE NO OTHER MAN IN TV HISTORY and ends up on the side of the good guys, helping them out (at least so far...). Seriously, that Love Triangle Resolution is the best thing to ever happen in a TV show, and it certainly was the best thing to happen on Grimm. (That, and the hero ends up actually telling his girlfriend the truth, and SURPRISE, she accepts it!)

Leslie sees that there are no further questions.

Are we done here? Guys? Wait... no, Emily, what are you doing?

 Wat r u doin? Stahp! Get away from that lev--Jess? Help me out here!

NOOO!!!!

From Spin-Off To Splinter: When Shows Split So Badly They Shatter

Well... This might happen.... And all I can think is...

How the mighty have fallen??

Why do spin-offs exist? What is a spin-off, anyway?

A spin-off requires two things: A parent show and a character or two that have been introduced but deviate from the central plot in a solid enough in its own right to warrant pursuit in it's own direction, while the "parent" can continue on its merry way. There are a few different ways a spin-off can happen:

1) The Backdoor Pilot: This method is used when a character with his/her own back-story and baggage crosses paths within an established show's timeline, and when that segment of the story is done, the character leaves and the show continues. Later, when the network decides to run a spin-off featuring that character, they might insert another episode into the original show that not only features a return of the character, but it uses the events of the parent show as the "introduction" of the new show, as opposed to building the new show from the ground up. That way, followers of the original show then become the "test audience" for the new show. If they want to see more of this character or proposed storyline, they can see more in the ensuing spin-off, if not, the attempted spin-off can just die a graceful death while the original show continues as if that didn't just happen.

2) Expanded Universe: Sometimes a spin-off won't have a back-door pilot, but, if the character is solid enough, they'll get an "expanded universe" spin-off. This type of spin-off serves as an explanation for a character's departure from the show, and still facilitates the occasional "guest appearance" as the spin-off and the parent show are happening in tandem and can cross over as circumstances allow. Examples of this kind of thing include shows like Angel (from the show Buffy the Vampire Slayer) and Stargate: Atlantis (which borrowed a couple of the main stars from the parent show, Stargate SG-1, and added to the lore to expand the shows horizons and open the floodgates of new ideas and additional storylines).

3) The Continuation: This kind of spin-off happens when a show comes to a close by the demise/departure of key lead characters (and thus their actors are detached and usually move on to other roles)... but the viewers want more, and the writers are still coming up with ideas. A Continuation spin-off typically participates in the setting and the lore of the parent show, but a lot of times it involves a whole new cast and a re-vamped direction. A great example of this kind of spin-off would be the Stargate: Universe series, which dealt with a lot of the tech and the principles set by the parent show, with very little of the original cast involved.

 What exactly is my issue with Once Upon A Time? I'm getting to that!

I still remember what it felt like when it started. A secret little town where all the famous fairy tale characters have real-world personas? Sign me up! I loved getting to know the characters in a whole new way and was always excited to discover the next character introduction and find out what unexpected role they were going to play in the overall arc. Season 2 then commenced with rather a bit of an "expanded universe" spin-off: magic comes to Storybrooke, but in the process, we are notified of an area that somehow escaped the Curse that struck everywhere else, so these characters were not transported and received no alternate identities. The main push of the story arc then becomes to return to the real world, while a minor guest character from season 1 becomes the main villain, and the arc completes just in time for the season 3 arc to begin, what became known as Once Upon A Time in Neverland—another "expanded universe" spin-off (billed sort of like a back-door pilot... But it never fully detached from the parent show, even though it had little to do with the original arc of the parent show. After Neverland resolved, we got the Wicked story arc, which was basically a half-witted attempt at turning a "continuation" spin-off into an overcomplicated "further reveal" of parts of the original story arc. I mean, SERIOUSLY! Do they expect us to accept, two years later, that Snow White and Prince Charming were running away from not one but TWO wicked witches?? Why was there no mention of this before?

Reason #1 Why adding yet another spin-off to the litany of burned-out tales OUAT has already scorched is a bad idea: It's too complex already. The best shows started simple, with a broad scope of potential already infused into the first season. They introduce several threads, and pursue one for a while, the the other. Countless shows have successfully accomplished this with far less: five or six protagonists, one or two main villains, and plenty of lore that has yet to be explored, but directly correlates to the original story arc.

Once Upon A Time, on the other hand, raised an army of protagonists, made its villain(s) all-powerful, and used up pretty much all of its lore—all in the first season. Still, hints were dropped that perhaps avid fantasy fans (like me) would notice, and there were still a few stories that the show could have gone back and revisited, enriching both the back-story and the current state of the characters...

But instead, the writers plowed on through the next one, further complicating the story on all fronts as they attempted to justify the presence and involvement of the new characters rather than including the familiar story as sufficient introduction, like the start of the series. It seems like every time the story changed, it over-complicated the lives of the more popular characters, adding motivations that were never even an issue before, plugging in flashbacks with not enough regard for overall continuity. Speaking of, does a continuity timeline exist for this show? I think it would be comical... Not only is Regina everyone's enemy, but she's been romantically involved and spited by nearly every prominent male except Prince Charming! Either Elsa is going to be another long-lost spawn/relative-of-Cora (one would think she would be a better villain herself, with the number of warped young women she's produced) or what exactly is the point of adding Frozen to the muddle?

Reason #2 Why doing yet another spin-off for Frozen in particular is a bad idea: neither story is strong enough to mesh well. A premise is what makes or breaks a show. A great show will have a premise that produces challenging goals each season for the protagonists... Within the parameters of the premise. On the show Grimm, for example, the premise is that the Brothers Grimm wrote the fairy tales with talking animals based on actual creatures who could pass for humans—some of these creature-people playing key roles in history. With a handful of creatures and plenty of fascinating lore that has not even been scratched in three seasons, Grimm keeps the momentum by pursuing one arc while hinting at the others at the same time, just to whet the viewers' interest. Three seasons with basically the same villain, and she hasn't changed much, and she's still up to her old tricks, but in new ways so it's not contrived or forced. And everything is still under that same premise.

What is the premise for Once Upon A Time? As of Season 1 I would have said, "A town where fairy tale characters are actual people from an Enchanted Forest where they all live." Is this the same premise for Season 2? What about Season 3? OUAT lost momentum and credibility when they changed their premise along with their story arc.

In many ways I feel like Frozen made the same mistake. Don't get me wrong, I waltzed out of the movie theater absolutely raving about that movie—but I know what these writers do with popular characters, and with confirmation that Elsa is going to actually be the Evil Snow Queen she was originally intended to be (once again, we have a halfway character whose goodness is diffused by the allure of evil choices and whose villany is tempered by a haphazard "redemption") I shudder to think what they will do with the rest. I mean, Elsa wasn't even the villain in the movie, where do they get off making her the bad guy just because she's in a slinky, form-fitting dress? 

Which brings us to:

Reason #3 why bringing in Frozen is a bad idea: The last thing this show needs is another haphazard villain. A show is only as strong as its weakest link... And the weakest link always has been and continues to be the villains. Let's review:

-Evil Queen: originally the Big Bad Villain of the first story arc, she was duly defeated at the conclusion of the arc; being such a favorite, though, the writers couldn't bear to let her go and so an aspect of redemption was involved, and yet the actress was so skilled at filling the role of villain that a fair amount of the redemption was rescinded, and she even ends up dragging the heroine into her own special brand of diluted "evil."

-Rumplestiltskin: the King of riding the fence, he was the motivated villain and the volatile ally; his original motivation was power to himself. In the same way that the Evil Queen filled the role of every Evil Queen and Wicked Witch in all of the stories, Rumplestiltskin was the Beast, the Crocodile, the Impish Trickster. He achieved this, but it came with the love interest complication that made him willing to give up a lot of the power that made him such a formidable villain, and plus the existence of his son still living and the hope of reunion reduced him to a psychotic wreck.

-Cora: Oh gosh, the fact that she was introduced in the episode where OUAT officially left all pretense of continuity behind in a mad dash to establish continuity and give poor misplaced Frankenstein (and I thought this was a kids show! What's next? Dracula? Have we seen the Headless Horseman yet?) something to do, and to give Regina an uncalled-for excuse for her evilness... Yeah, I guess a part of me hoped that a character this static, this useless, this cliché, would not be needed outside this little frame of the timeline. BUT, this show being desperate for villains (is it just me, or does it seem like the story arcs in this show are practically driven by the villain? That's never a good plan to let the villain take the wheel in a story!) Cora and her endless supply of unlimited magic to get anyone to do anything received a ill-planned upgrade and she became the villain. While it is true that her character is a rarity in that she is still the same crafty old witch in every appearance... Her scripting is trite, predictable, and flat as a pancake. She's just plain not interesting enough!

-Peter Pan: the whole "Home Office" thing was certainly promising... If only it had turned out to be an actual non-fantasy entity instead of a sick and twisted version of everybody's most cherished childhood tradition—who turned out not even to be the character himself, but the "de-aged" persona of Rumplestiltskin's father... Because if you're going to screw up a beloved character AND his lore, you're better off just making out like you never intended to use the actual character after all.

-All the Kings in the Enchanted Forest: Pawns with crowns, the lot of them! Pawns of either the Queen or Rumplestiltskin as a result of deals they struck in pursuit of the illusion of power, and pernicious, self-righteous ones at that! Seriously, of what use are the kings, really? Once Upon A Time seems to have this secret agenda, letting us know it's the queens with all the power. The kings are merely means to an end, and they get murdered by their ambitious wives or they are manipulated into working for evil enchantresses and making the heroes' lives miserable just because it makes them feel powerful.

-Jafar: this spin-off villain was just bad from the start of his back-story to the final less-than-epic "battle." He was so weak that he could not do anything except get other people to do stuff for him, and he was such an idiot that all his grabs for power ended up favoring the heroes in the end. I have seen that series twice (once when it first aired, and then again to review it) and I still don't get what all the hype was about.

-Zelena: okay, I confess, all I know about this character is from reading the episode synopses every week. I have no idea how well or how terribly Rebecca Mader did with her... All I know is, what I read of her story arc was just poor writing all the way through. I kept hoping to come across an episode that gave me the thrills, because I wanted to return to watching it again, but it never happened. Zelena was obviously intended to be less milk-toasty than Regina, but with a similar back-story, combined with the incessant use of manipulation to get what one wants, a la Cora—still did not end up with a villain that could last more than a single fizzling story arc.

Reason #4 Why turning Frozen into "Once Upon A Time In Arendell" is a bad idea: That's not what spin-offs are for. Spin-offs are not easy ways for networks to bilk more viewers for the "dying mother-ship" (see gif at the top of this page) by playing on current trending sensations--frankly, I liked Once Upon A Time when it actually dealt with stories that began "Once upon a time...." not "Today in the latest release from Disney Animation Studios!" Spin-offs are shows featuring popular characters already established in the show and well-received by the audience who are able to create their own story simultaneously with the parent show without destroying continuity, and people watch it because they're already familiar with the character's story as it relates to the original show, so there is basically no introduction needed.

To add Elsa and "the gang" as a spin-off makes no sense because we have no idea who these characters are (obviously they're going to be nothing like the characters we only just got acquainted with, so what's the point?) and thus the spin-off will have to be a glorified effort to insert an entirely new story that no one has ever heard before (not even those who have actually read "The Snow Queen") into the "shredded canon" that is Once Upon A Time... or they'll make like Once Upon A Time In Wonderland and just start from scratch and build a new story that barely hints at familiar things and doesn't really belong and tanks after thirteen episodes of a botched existence. (About the only thing good that came out of that--and the only reason I will ever watch another episode of Once Upon A Time--would be Michael Socha!) 

Adding to that the fact that OUAT is "hauling characters out of the basement" (like Sidney Glass, who nobody cared for... so why dig him up again?) to try and bulk out the cast of screwed-up, insecure adults who can't make up their minds and carry a laundry list of past regrets that gets longer with each season... and yeah, another spin-off is not going to make everything better, because that's not what spin-offs do. A spin-off will be good because it is building off a solid launch point in the parent show to pursue a good idea. When a show attempts to build a spin-off on a faulty idea, from a show that's falling apart on all fronts (magic is failing, love is failing, trust is failing... what else is there??) that's not "spinning off." That's "abandoning ship."

Reason #5 Why creating a spin-off out of a sensational film that will be even further away from said film than the film itself was from the original fairy tale is just a bad idea: Location, Location, Location! Most shows have a "canon," which is a set amount of scenarios within which the characters can function, based on their official presentation. You won't see Ariel as a poor girl living with dwarves on land, and Belle was never courted by any princes (Gaston doesn't count... he was a mere hunter in the original tale, and his cameo as a prince was far too brief for more than a few lines)--because those situations are not canon, they do not fit within the realm of possibilities for the characters. A good show has enough lore in the canon to function well and flourish within the boundaries of its canon. Typically, off-canon is reserved for fan-fiction amateurs who are not satisfied with the original characters and story arcs and want to mess around with the timing and the relationships and whatnot.

In the case of Once Upon A Time, that "canon" was supposed to be the community of Storybrooke. It connected all the plot threads for the multiple flashbacks and world-hopping that happened between the Enchanted Forest and Neverland. That's why the "spin-off of Wonderland never really touched Storybrooke except very briefly and conveniently in times where their presence would be outside the notice of the characters who should have been there, and merely for the sake of furthering its own storyline--because the continuity in Storybrooke is hanging by a thread, and the slightest breath of wind could upset the continuity of the entire show.

Enter Elsa in the Season 3 finale... and she's in Storybrooke. Congratulations, Horowitz and Kitsis! You broke your own canon! They can't make a spin-off that's set in the same location as the parent show, especially when it's a small town, not a big city where it would be easy to just localize everything. So Season 4 would have to be dealing with a wintery villain in Storybrooke... at the same time as we're trying to delve into the Seven Loves of Regina Mills with a new... an old... HANG ON! I THOUGHT MARION WAS DEAD! DEAD PEOPLE AREN'T SUPPOSED TO BE AN ISSUE!! Plus, Emma and Hook are still playing "Love Roulette".... and you want to add another tenuous relationship to the mix?? Wait, I thought TNT was supposed to be the network that "knew drama." One might as well move Once Upon A Time to a daytime slot, if you catch my meaning.



So there you have it, five reasons why the whole "Frozen comes to Storybrooke" idea is just... bad! You know what I would rather see? Let's revisit all the tales that were only "cherry-picked" from in the first two seasons! Let's let the insecure, flip-flopping characters figure out what side they're on! Let's let the relationships find more solid footing! Let's allow the characters to knock around and have some fun for a bit rather than a constant downhill slide from apocalypse to apocalypse! Let's get back to those characters (like the Tillman family, or Ashley and Sean... they had a baby, didn't they? And what about Pinocchio? I want to see more of the newly-reunited Geppetto and his son!) who only got one episode and took a backseat to the endless Scandal Train of the Original Seven (Regina, Mary Margaret, David, Emma, Henry, Hook, Gold) once both sides got what they needed out of them! Any of these would be a better idea and might redeem the show and make it more secure--but unfortunately, it's too late for any of it...

Angst is coming....

Top Ten Non-Sparkling Vampires

                     Vampires have long been a monster of fascination for we mere mortals, featuring in various stories from all over the globe that have been handed down and adapted through the ages. Certainly with the recent rise in popularity of supernatural and fantasy literature, film, and television it is nigh impossible to escape the undead creatures. One need only look at the spines of the teen fiction section in any local bookstore to get one's Halloween scares for the fascination with vampires has taking a slightly different turning. No longer are they half-rotting demons that are to be feared and hunted down at all costs. No, now the vampire is the hot boy across the cafeteria who draws us in with his electrifying, heart-stopping glare and his lust for our blood. (I guess if that does it for you...)

                   So in honor of Halloween, I have decided to take a look at the children of the night. Here is a list of the Top Ten Non-Sparkling Vampires. I hope you enjoy...don't forget your candelabra.

10: Mr. Ratburn – Arthur

          Although not technically an actual blood-drinker, this tough teacher features in the daymares of his students.  He is said to eat nails for breakfast, hypnotize children to not like recess, and to throw under-performing students in the Bastille. Granted all of these terrible things are only playground gossip and rumor…but that didn’t make our enjoyment of vampire!Ratburn any less long-lasting. The concept was funny, had some great atmosphere and music, and got the point of the strict teacher across quite vividly.

9: Barnabas Collins – Dark Shadows

            No, I’m not talking about the washed-out, greasy-haired Johnny Depp version. Nope – for this list I’m going back to the original vampire played by Jonathan Frid for the 1967 – 1971 run of the ABC supernatural serial Dark Shadows. Barnabas is a centuries old vampire in relentless search of his lost love, Josette. Throughout the course of his appearance on the show he shifted from being a one-off, dark character to the main protagonist (being given noble qualities along with the fangs) and was so popular that he both featured in the NBC reboot of the show and two movies.

8: Mavis – Hotel Transylvania

            When I first heard about this film I rolled my eyes and groaned at the thought of another studio trying to cash in on the bewildering success that is the Twilight franchise. I just want to stop and apologize right now because this movie is NOTHNG like Twilight (other than the human/vampire romance…but here it is done worlds better, despite the fact that the voice actors are Selena Gomez and Andy Samburg)! The movie is (usually) funny and the two characters involved in the romance actually have some character. Mavis is the adventurous daughter of Dracula who is curious about humans and the human world. Parallels with Ariel aside, Mavis is a quirky, fun character to watch. Her interactions with her Dad are perfect and her annoyance at the dusty old hotel where she lives is certainly understandable (have you ever had to listen to Frankenstein sing in the shower?). The love zing between her and Johnny is believable and sweet, rather than insufferably soppy, and you walk away from the movie feeling like you watched an actual story with actual people rather than an excuse for half a dozen or so kissing scenes. I was shocked, especially given the number of childish jokes involved and the way they play fast and loose with the Universal monsters lore (and the inclusion of the Samburg/Sandler duo), just how much I enjoyed this film and the teenage vampire who stars in it.

7: Thuringwethil – The Silmarillion

            Did you know that Tolkien wrote about vampires? Well, he did. Thuringwethil was a vampire bat-creature who briefly featured in the Lay of Leithian (the story of Aragorn’s ancestor and Arwen’s great, great grandmother). T (as I call her) appears only for a few moments in the tale before she is killed – putting up quite the fight and reputation before her demise – and then her skin becomes a cloak for Luthian to wear as she and her lover, Beren, steal into the fortress of Morgoth (the guy who taught Sauron) to recover a Silmaril so that Luthian’s father will allow them to wed. As I said, T herself doesn’t appear in the story for long…but it is quite clear from the text and from the way Luthian’s disguise worked that T was quite the menacing foe during her prime.

6: Katherine – The Vampire Diaries

            Katheine is an outwardly-sweet character who comes to Mystic Falls and toys with the Salvatore brothers. She can be both calculating and manipulative and is the one responsible for originally turning Damon and Stefan. Though Katherine originally starts out as an antagonist, as the story goes on it is revealed that she is on the run from yet another vampire, Klaus, who needs her to break the curse that is upon him. She has a dark back-story that tells of how her Bulgarian family disowned her after she had a child out of wedlock and banished her to England (where she first met Klaus). Fleeing from him for years, she eventually ended up in Mystic Falls where she turned several people and used a werewolf to steal a moonstone. Katherine is not all bad, though. Despite the fact that Elena Gilbert is a rival for the affections of the Salvatores, Katherine does agree to protect her descendant from the supernatural underworld.

5: Mitchell – Being Human

            Mitchell is a hospital cleaner who shares a flat with a werewolf and a ghost (and, as time goes on, a whole load of ghoulish creations) but that’s okay because Mitchell is also a vampire. His image cannot be captured on film and he has no reflection. He doesn’t scorch in the sunlight, though he is very susceptible to sunburns and often has to wear sunglasses to protect his eyes. Mitchell is a vampire who is doing his best to live as a human – abstaining from blood and subsisting on pizza and coffee, though he does occasionally fall back into temptation. Constantly conflicted about what to do with his undead life, Mitchell occasionally strays from his friends and becomes embroiled in the vampire society of Bristol. But he always comes back to George and Annie because he says they keep him sane and clean.

4: Ms. Finnegan – Doctor Who: Smith & Jones

            Do plasmavores count? Well – this is my list so I say they do! Florence Finnegan is a fugitive plasmavore hiding out from the Shadow Proclamation (intergalactic law) in a hospital on planet Earth because there she will have easy access to the blood banks. Whenever the Royal Hope Hospital was transported to the Moon and the Judoon came searching for her, Ms. Finnegan drained the blood of Doctor Stoker in order to assimilate humanity and fool the mercenaries’ scanners. She also rigged an MRI machine to send out a wave that would kill everyone within a certain radius (all those in the hospital and half of the Earth) before The Doctor tricked her into drinking his blood and she was caught/executed by the Judoon. In appearance like a kindly, harmless little grandma – Florence has no fangs or sharp teeth. Instead she carries a handy, dandy straw about in her purse and uses that to pierce the jugular of her victims. Terror in a nightie indeed!

3: The Count – Sesame Street Muppets 

            “In old Transylvania when I was a lad/Our castle was cold, yet we never were sad/We learned to be happy – we danced ‘round the hall/And learning to count was the key to it all!” For many of us, this was the first vampire we ever encountered (even if we didn’t know he was a vampire) and boy is he ever a good one! From the fine evening clothes to the silky accent, everything about Count von Count is a beautiful parody on the stereotypical vampire – he even has a cobwebby castle filled with bats and a pipe organ. And he teaches you to count, how cool is that? 

2: Angel – Buffy the Vampire Slayer/Angel

            This character is so cool he even got his own spin-off show. Angelus (formerly known as Liam) is an Irish vampire who has been cursed with a human soul – something that causes him never ending torment. Though at one time he was known as the darkest and most sadistic of the vampires, throughout the course of the two shows and expanded universe Angel has turned into a champion of mankind who must constantly deal with the fallout of his former lifestyle. He is tied in with several prophecies – most relating in some way to the apocalypse – and is a love interest of Slayer, Buffy Summers, despite his daily battle against the gypsy’s curse.

1: Count Dracula – Dracula

            For the number one place on this list I wouldn’t dare to look anywhere but Bram Stoker’s famous classic that defined the modern vampire lore. The book chronicles the journey of Dracula to London (in search of fresh blood), the turning of Lucy Westenra, and the subsequent hunt led by Professor Abraham Van Helsing. It is dark, gothic, frightening tale (even the kids’ condensed versions are pretty scary) and much of what we ‘know’ about vampires today can be found within its pages. There have been many interpretations of the novel and characters (from thrillers to horror to parody) and it remains one of the best-known novels even to this day. Count Dracula is a terrifying figure; for all that he barely appears personally within the story, and through his calculating, thirsty plotting easily earns his place as most memorable vampire.