Trinity (Parody of '3')

One, two, three

Harry, Ron, Hermione

That’s the power of three

Doctor, Rory, Amy

Counting…

One, Two, Three

Dean and Cas and Sammy

That’s the power of three

No one can disagree

Superwholock

Why is it always

When something big happens 

You are to blame?

All the ships sink

Bermuda Triangle

And everybody dies

And feels are mangled

Unholy trinity

Mofftiss, Whedon, Kripke; they are deadly

Rowling, Collins, Green

Sobbing…

One, two, three

Harry, Ron, Hermione

That’s the power of three

Doctor, Rory, Amy

Counting…

One, Two, Three

Dean and Cas and Sammy

That’s the power of three

No one can disagree

One, two, three

Hunger Games trilogy

There’s a power of three

In Greek mythology

Counting…

One, two, three

Aragorn, Legolas, Gimli

See the power of three

Edmund, Eustace, Lucy

Three is a charm

Two is not the same

A third wheel always

Helps with stability

So no it’s not true

That three is company

Those who say that have not

Seen the power of three

Unholy trinity

Mofftiss, Whedon, Kripke; they are deadly

Rowling, Collins, Green

Sobbing…

One, two, three

Harry, Ron, Hermione

That’s the power of three

Doctor, Rory, Amy

Counting…

One, Two, Three

Dean and Cas and Sammy

That’s the power of three

No one can disagree

Of course it isn’t always perfect

‘Cause sometimes Death comes to collect

So don’t count on your BroT3

Living through the season finale

Unholy 

Trinity

Get four or even more

One, two, three

Harry, Ron, Hermione

That’s the power of three

Doctor, Rory, Amy

Counting…

One, Two, Three

Dean and Cas and Sammy

That’s the power of three

No one can disagree

Clap (parody of 'Applause')

I’ve heard that people are supposed to change with time

But whoever first said that hadn’t seen a life like mine

I don’t mean to sound rude but I already know

What I’m supposed to be and I don’t need to grow

I’ve got life figured out, no need to shout

I’m confident and not plagued with any semblance of doubt

So put up your hands and cheer for me

I’m what you all should want to be

Give me that thing that I love; your admiration!

Because I deserve it all, no fabrication!

I’m awesome and I know it, no exaggeration!

There’s no way you can top this; no replication

O-M-G E-G-O what’s that you’re saying?

I’m just a fame addict? Well that’s ignorant braying

Clearly you don’t understand what I’ve been saying

Your lack of faith is extremely dismaying

Perhaps you’re just a critic because you’re jealous

I’m sorry you feel that way but I can’t turn this off

One second at the bottom, next moment at the top

I am such perfection why should I ever choose to stop?

I live for the applause, so give me pause

You know I’m worth your time you’d be worthless without me

Adulation affirmation

Because you know I’m great, not late

I am the definition of egotistic

Now don’t you all just believe that I am perfect?

So won’t you pursue me? Your only object?

Your mission is worship me, now do you accept?

O-M-G E-G-O I am amazing

You’re clapping and cheering for me, so affirming

You’ve fed the beast and now I’m slowly mutating

Into a monster of fame, I’m the greatest thing

Since sliced bread

Ooh-ooh-ooh-hoo

Ooh-ooh-ooh-hoo

Ooh-ooh-ooh-hoo

Ooh-ooh

I live for the applause; it is my cause

To be the primadonna that you all want more of

I almost break all the mirrors, and blind cameras

Because I’m so bright and so ultra glamorous

O-M-G E-G-O But I deserve it

I don’t understand why you’re all in a snit

O-V-E-R-T-H-E-T-O-P

Down’s the only way that you can go from the top

"That Rebel Night" (A Star Wars Parody)

 (Parody of Katy Perry's "Last Friday Night")

There are troopers on patrol,

Folks imprisoned in the hull,

Man I just got this disguise,

Helmet covers up my eyes;

Got the Death Star on the move,

Got Lord Vader in a mood,

Don't know how we got this far;

That a droid or just a guard?

 

 

Princess Leia's trapped and the comm's been tapped,

We're screwed—oh well!

Better shed that suit,

Take the garbage chute,

Look out now! (Frell!)

 

With Rebel might—

Yeah, we nicked the Empire's plans,

Took them right out of their hands,

Think that no one understands

 

 

With Rebel might—

Yeah we risked a lot to win,

Till Destroyers took us in,

Then we slipped them out again

 

 

That Rebel night—

Couple droids escaped the ship,

Vader didn't see them skip,

So they took a little trip

Into the night—

Met a simple farming boy,

Picked them up to help with chores,

Till he learned about the Force!

 

 

This Rebel Night

We'll outsmart the Sith!

This Rebel night

We'll outsmart the Sith!

 

 

Ben Kenobi's on a roll,

With the boy and droids he stole,

Got a Falcon, got a Han,

Got in trouble, now they're gone!

First they're running like a dream,

Then they meet a tractor beam;

Break the Princess out of jail,

This was not an epic fail!

 

 

Now the Jedi's here,

Can't give in to fear

Or hate—no way!

Just control the Force,

Cause we don't endorse

The anger—Hey!

 

 

That Empire night,

Stopped in Bespin for a bite,

Luke and Vader had a fight,

Han was cased in carbonite!

 

 

Yeah, Jedi Knights!

Jabba's party on the skiff,

Got some allies in their midst,

Went and left them all adrift!

 

 

When Rebels fight—

Yeah we made Lord Vader cry,

Half a Death Star in the sky,

Might not kill it, but we'll try!

When Rebels fight—

Met some Ewoks on a moon,

Pitched a battle, pretty soon,

Vader's army went KABOOM!!

 

 

We won the fight—

We're all free once more!

We won that fight!

No more Emperor! 

 

 

©Leslie Conzatti (2014)

I Can't Stop

A starving artist driving herself mad

Trying to salvage writing that is bad

Crying over fanfiction that is really sad

Pajamas are plaid

It’s all she had

Writing the next great bestseller

Burning through poetry helter-skelter

Too much time inside, giving her pallor

A storyteller

A blog-dweller

Blunt pens and crumpled pages everywhere

Trying not to rip out my hair

Because the words aren't cooperating

So I'm crying and perspirating

The characters are so bland

Got writer's cramp in my hand

Better plan on no sleep tonight

Gotta work until I get this right

Gotta write something

My mind is exploding

My fingers are itching

But somehow the words won't come

Got writer's block

Keyboard is locked

But I can't stop,

And I won't stop

Because sleep is not for me

Not until I fix this analogy

And I can't stop

No I won't stop

Got punctuation to double-check

Gotta research how to varnish a deck

Yeah, yeah

She’s going crazy from a lack of sleep

Crying over posts that aren’t actually so deep

Breaking her keyboard from an abuse of ‘delete’

Rinse and repeat

Admit defeat

My phone rang and broke my train of thought

Low on sleep and overwrought

But this rhyme scheme’s bugging me

Why did I ever start writing poetry?

The publisher sent back my book

Said that it needs lots of work

I’m so disgusted

Pencil lead’s busted, oh no!

And nothing is working

My stomach is churning

My tired eyes burning

Because this is the millionth time

That I’ve re-written

This manuscript

But I can’t stop

And I won’t stop

Until the dialogue is smooth and nice

Even if I have to rework it thrice

So I can’t stop

And I won’t stop

Living off bread and water

Sneezed and dripped coffee all over

Oh fudge!

Lack of sleep and too much caffeine

Wastes time reading old magazines

Procrastinating writing that scene

Stuck in-between

Criticism’s extreme

This is the life story of all

Writers whether they’re big or small

Too many ideas, cannot use them all

Head against wall

Need an overhaul

But we can’t stop

And we won’t stop

Because there’s so many tales to tell

Another re-imagining of how Rome fell

So we can’t stop

And we won’t stop

There’s scripts and fanfiction

Writing is our addiction

We’re doomed.

Joker Face

(Parody of 'Poker Face')

I started as a nobody and grew up as a freak

But that was before I made the news going on a crime spree

My girlfriend is a harlequin, my pranks second to none

And we all know Russian Roulette’s not fun without a gun

Oh, ohhhh, oh, ohhhh, oh

I prank and trick, I’m hilarious

Oh, ohhhh, oh, ohhhh, oh

I have to ask: “Why so serious?”

Can’t read my, can’t read my, no they can’t read my Joker face

‘Cause I’m a psychopathic killer

Can’t read my, can’t read my, no they can’t read my Joker face

My theme song is M Jackson’s ‘Thriller’

J-j-j-joker face, J-j-joker face

(You’re stuttering)

J-j-j-joker face, J-j-joker face

(Stop muttering)

Stop being such a wimp; didn’t you get the joke?

Well then I guess it’s time that your fingers were broke

My story’s sad because my dad was just a lazy bum

Who drank too much and hit me up, never let me have fun

Oh, ohhhh, oh, ohhh, oh

I had no chance, to be a kid

Oh, ohhhh, oh, ohhh, oh

So now I take every chance I get

Can’t read my, can’t read my, no they can’t read my Joker face

‘Cause I’m a psychopathic killer

Can’t read my, can’t read my, no they can’t read my Joker face

My theme song is M Jackson’s ‘Thriller’

Harley, come get the piranhas

Getting tired of this drama

I came out here for some fun

I’m not lying, I’m just a big kid at heart, looking

For a party and a joke

And maybe a little chaos

Because I’m all about the games

I never promised it would be painless

Can’t read my, can’t read my, no they can’t read my Joker face

‘Cause I’m a psychopathic killer

Can’t read my, can’t read my, no they can’t read my Joker face

My theme song is M Jackson’s ‘Thriller’

J-j-j-joker face, J-j-joker face

(You’re stuttering)

J-j-j-joker face, J-j-joker face

(Stop muttering)

J-j-j-joker face, J-j-joker face

(You’re stuttering)

J-j-j-joker face, J-j-joker face

(Stop muttering)

J-j-j-joker face, J-j-joker face

(You’re stuttering)

J-j-j-joker face, J-j-joker face

(There’s no running)

Peter (Parody of 'Judas')

Oh-oh-no I’m in love with Spiderman, Spiderman

Oh-oh-no I’m in love with Spiderman, Spiderman

Peter, Peter Parker

Peter, Peter Parker 

Peter, Peter Parker

Peter, Peter Parker

Peter, Peter Parker

Peter, Peter Parker 

Peter, Peter Parker

Spidey, Spiderman!

We’ve known each other ever since first grade

He was a dork and I was Mary Jane

But then the eency weency spider came

And Peter Parker got a cool upgrade

Oh-oh-oh He’s now a spider, and a crime fighter

Oh-oh-oh A vigilante, who’s in love with me

I don’t know what he is, but I do know I’m his

Because he saved me from the balcony

He’s fought a lot of villains and killed the Green Goblin

And he’s made a lot of enemies

I’m not sure if this is wise, but I know he’ll always be in my

Heart even if I say no and leave him for time twenty-two

It’s all for his own good

No I’m not just in a mood

Not trying to be rude

I’m sorry that I made him brood

I know that people think that I’m a fool

A damsel in distress, unwitting tool

Eye candy for Peter to have to save

He deserves better is what they’ll rant and rave

I can’t deny that I can be so shy and needy

And I know I’m one dimensional, not very sensible

I’m sorry for my writing, it’s not all that exciting

But I’m not the one behind the scenes

I’m just in love with Peter, I know now he’s a keeper

And somebody’s got to be there to scream

So I guess I’ll play the girl he has to save along with the world

It hurt my heart when he was down and Venom beat him to the ground

And though now in the reboots

He got a girl in cahoots

She isn’t me but I don’t really mind

Because I’ve got my Peter

My red and blue clad savior

And though Doctor Who made the new

He suits me fine

I’ll always love him

But something’s always pulling me away

If feels like we’ll never win

But at least we escape to fight another day

Another day

Well Peter does the fighting because of lousy writing

And I love him even though I’m flat

I’m a redhead, not a blond; this is why our franchise bombed

And why do I take all the flack?

I’m just a girl who is hopelessly in love with Spiderman

He swings from buildings up above and saves the children on the van

Peter, Peter Parker

Such a smart-mouthed snarker

Peter, Peter Parker

My brave superhero

Geeky Gamer Girls ("California Gurls" Parody)

We know the place

To build our fortresses on Minecraft;

Know how to ford

That crazy river on a wood raft!

Sneaking through the streets,

Of ancient Venice, so discreetly—

Break everything,

For coins and bonus points and XP!

We can play all your games,

We've got skills and mad dexterity!

Once you play against us,

You'll be finding out—

Oh! Oooooooh!

[Chorus]

Geeky Gamer Girls

We're so adorkable!

Jeans and Firefly t-shirts on top!

Smart and brainy-fun

We'll solve your paradox!

Ooooh! Oh Ooooooh!

Nerdy Gamer Girls

We love our fanfiction!

8-bit consoles, Zelda and Link!

LARP-ing, memes, oh yeah!

We rule the fandom!

Ooooooh! Oh! Ooooooh!

We binge on The Guild,

While waiting for a game on Halo;

We'll save Princess Peach,

With pals like Donkey Kong and Mario!

The Room is so still,

You can hear my Kingdom Heart beat!

We know the best guns,

For fighting mutant Nazi Zombies!

We can navigate worlds!

There's a rhythm to the way

We all interact and play!

Yeah, from Portal to Pokemon—

We've gotta catch them all!
[Repeat Chorus]

©Leslie Conzatti (2014)

I Kissed a Wookie (Did I Like It?)

(A Parody on Katy Perry's "I Kissed A Girl".... if you didn't guess that already...)

This was never the way I planned,

Not my intention;

You ticked me off, I couldn't stand

your gross pretension!

This life's not what I'm used to, why am I to blame?

You're so scruffy I just thought it would be the same—

 

So I kissed a Wookie, did I like it?

A bit furry, but I don't mind it!

I kissed a Wookie, so what?

You're mad cause he's your co-pilot!

It wasn't love

It was more like spite,

Doesn't mean I'll forget our fight!

I kissed a Wookie, instead of you—Nerf-Herder!

 

 

You think this daredevil facade

Makes you attractive?

Man, I wish that you had

left me a captive!

Is your strength really just for show,

Don't you hate going Solo?

Maybe if you could stop, and see

Reality—

 

I kissed a Wookie, I tried it!

Just testing your reaction!

I kissed a Wookie, but honestly,

I'm wishing for retraction!

I got it wrong,

It was not so bright,

I'll be coughing fur-balls all night!

I kissed a Wookie, I'm sorry now!

Let's make up!

 

  ©Leslie Conzatti (2014)

Shopping Mall

         

Black Friday came, got our coupons saved, 70% off!

Brand new TV’s, retro DVD’s, a portrait of Rachmaninoff

We scrimped and we saved

Prepping for this day

‘Best bargains of the year!’

No, Miss Gator Purse

You won’t get there first

Missing it’s my greatest fear

Oh it’s madness at the shopping mall

As the shoppers flock and push and shove

Mashed against the doors before them all

I wonder “Does all this trouble pay back enough?”

This crowd seems kind of rough!

Inside you’ll find nobody’s kind as we fight over the last shoe

It’s sick, insane, a messed-up game, but what else can we do?

Happens once a year

Money’s oh so dear

Gotta go to the sales

After Thanksgiving

Buy everything

Reduced prices, you cannot fail

Oh it’s madness at the shopping mall

As we help boost the economy

Consumerism’s taking over all

Of our brains and leaving us with stuff we don’t need

I never meant to start a fight

I just needed those gloves more than you

I’m sorry for the knee to the gut

But I need the toilet cleaner too

I never meant to start a war

Are you gonna sit and sulk and stew?

Well, in that case the joke’s on you

Everything you’ll miss with this hissy fit

Bruises are part of the day

Because it’s madness in the shopping mall

As the shoppers flock and push and shove

Stay on your toes and on the ball

If you want to walk out with something to show

For your suffering at the shopping mall

Is it worth it to come way out here

And fight each other over re-hashed sales

That were tried out on us, earlier this year?

I pity the poor cashiers!

©Emily Ecrivaine (2014)

Talk Nerdy To Me

My reaction to 95% of pop stars...including the one who performed today's song to be parodied.

         By now most of you possessing functioning radios and ears have probably heard the Jason Derulo single 'Talk Dirty To Me'. If you haven't, consider yourself lucky. If you have, I apologise. I know I had nothing to do with the writing, producing, or distribution of this song...but I still apologise. On behalf of all 'dumb guys who get laid a lot and then sing about it', I would like to apologise for them. They don't know any better. Not that that's really an excuse...

        ESPECIALLY for what he did to this song! Oh sure the lyrics are filthy, disgusting, and objectify women like there's no tomorrow (and not even in ways that could be seen as a lame attempt at 'complimentary' or 'funny') but the musician in me just sobs that these offensive and badly-written lyrics were assigned to such a great backing track. Seriously. How could they go so wrong with that funky beat and catchy brass section? Hmmm. Where do I begin?

       Nope. No. I'm not going to do it. First of all, I don't wish to pollute my mind further with that reprehensible waste of good music that isn't worth my time. Secondly, I don't think Mr. Derulo deserves (or cares about) my opinion on his chart-topping single. Thirdly, I don't want to give it any more unneeded recognition. So I wrote some alternate lyrics for us all to sing next time it gets stuck in our heads. I apologise for the clunky rhyming scheme. I had to follow what was originally set in stone, after all.

Time to log into Facebook, check the dashboard feed

That new Hawkeye teeshirt, is just what I need

Can’t answer the age-old question

Star Trek or Star Wars?

But I stay loyal to The Doctor

Could I ask for more?

Got collectibles of Darth Vader and Luke

I hope Jar Jar Binks gets nuked

All you really need to understand is

How to talk nerdy to me

Talk nerdy to me

Talk nerdy to me

Talk nerdy to me

Throw some geek in too

Come watch The Hunger Games

Come read The Hobbit

Oh I can show you the world

Open your mind to it

I’ll be the friend at your side

Hogwarts to Arda

Through space and time together

The Merlin to your Arthur

There’s a whole world out there to be explored

And when you come to the end, then you’ll be wanting more

So keep it simple, start with Psyche

And then you can talk nerdy to me

Talk nerdy to me

Talk nerdy to me

TV – The Big Bang Theory

Books – Redwall and Percy

Films – Guardians of the Galaxy

Yes, I know I’m white and nerdy

Oh yeah!

It’s Orphan Black and Veronica Mars

Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. and The Fault in Our Stars

Math and science, language and grammar

It’s fun to fill your mind and banter

Gathering knowledge from every corner

You’re an inter-dimensional explorer

Making friends ‘twixt the pages of a book

There’s Peter, Wendy, Captain Hook

Or maybe you prefer to watch them on TV

Where Peter is evil and mean as can be

I want to share these things with you

They’re so wonderful, full of great value

You’ll be glad you started, though you’re never done

So d’you think you’re ready to join a fandom?

Insanity or boredom, pick your poison

Come on, admit it, you enjoyed that fanfic

Not like I'm asking you to belt out Queen in public

If you want there’s a House marathon tonight

So come and talk nerdy with me

Talk nerdy with me

Talk nerdy with me

Talk nerdy with me

Talk nerdy with me

Throw a little geek in

  

The Feels Never Bothered Me Anyway (A Frozen Parody)

The scene pans out as the character dies,

Not a glimmer of hope to be seen--

Unless the show is cancelled,

I hope a fake-out is routine;

I'm forced to linger with this swirling storm inside--

I can't help myself, heaven knows I've tried...

Don't get attached, just let them go—

For heaven's sake, it's just a show!

They're actors, paid to make a scene—

But they're real to me!!!!!

Let it out! Let it out!

Can't hold it in any more!

Let it out! Let it out!

I don't have to be so sore!

I don't care what they have in store!

Let the show move on!

The feels never bothered me anyway!

It's funny how good scripting

Can make me feel so strong!

It's sheer manipulation,

And it's why I wrote this song!

It's time to realize my feels,

I've reached the limit, I can't deal!

You've killed him off, just for the views—

I feel so used!

Let it out! Let it out!

Let's just admit I cried!

Let it out! Let it out!

My brain and heart are fried!

Why did you make me like this guy?

How can life go on?

Emotions flurry every time I see his face;

I'm fantasizing rescues from that unfair coup de grace!

In memes and fanfiction, I've found my happy place!

I'm never going back! I've joined the Fandom Race!!
 

Let it out! Let it out!

Our freak flag's flying high!

Let it out! Let it out!

The best ones ne'er say die!!

Here I stand as the music fades

Screaming in the dark...

The feels get the best of me every time. 

© Leslie Conzatti

Normal?!

        

         Hi, everybody! So I know that the song 'Royals' has been done to death, really I do. Contrary to popular opinion, I'm not actually a hermit and I don't live under a rock. (It's actually a turtle shell...but who's keeping score?) So here is the poem I have subtitled Another Royals Parody (for that is what it is) and it is dedicated to all my fellow geeks, nerds, fanboys, fangirls, or whatever you wish to label yourself as. Enjoy!

You know Buffy’s my drug of choice

You know I spent my savings on all the posters

And if my eyes seem kinda moist

I’ve just got off Moffat’s rollercoaster

So don’t you tease about dating, romance, ‘obsessing’ over hedgehogs

Fake geek girls, why I don’t go for your heartthrobs

I don’t care! I’m fighting Klingons in my dreams

And you know I like X-Men, Firefly, Star Wars, Supernatural

Fred and George, Frodo, and of course Gabriel

Don’t you know? They’ve been my friends for many years!

And I’ll never be normal (normal)

It’s not compatible with my blood

That kind of life is not for me

I crave a different cup of tea

I’ll be your dungeon master (master)

Know every line of Merlin

And, mocker, I’ll rule, I’ll rule, I’ll rule, I'll rule

‘Cause normal’s so boring

My friends and I talk through chat rooms

We share spoilers and have virtual parties

And everyone who knows us knows

Stay out of our way after a SuperWhoLock finale!

The fandom life is made up of sobs and sniffles and smiles

The sniffles win out, but we’d walk 500 miles

Just to be at ComiCon in person, yeah

And we improve our minds writing fanfic, doing fanart and cosplay

Learning Elvish, crying over soufflés

And that’s okay, because we do it as a team

And we’ll never be normal (normal)

That’s illogical indeed

‘Cause Narnia's calling our name

And World of Warcraft’s a great game

Let’s all bond over music (music)

Weird Al or The Beatles?

And that’s how we roll, we roll, we roll, we roll

We also hunt Internet Trolls

Ooh ooh oh

I just don’t know what we would do

Without friends that stick just like glue

Ooh ooh oh

Close as brothers and sisters

Tributes, Potterheads, Whovians, Ringers

My friends are not real friends you say?

Is that because we met online through our writing?

And ‘cause at the end of the day

We have each other’s backs when feels threaten drowning?

Oh now you’ve gone way too far, that’s not cool, did your mother teach you manners?

*Reach for wand and phaser and my best screwdriver*

I know ways to hide your salted and burnt corpse, dude!

Insult me all you want but you’d better leave my friends alone

See? This is why geeks so often sit at home

Don’t you see? If this was about sports buddies, I’d be rude!

Because that would be normal (normal)

But it’s kinda pointless anyway

Because that word is so cliché

A setting on your dryer, they say

And just because we have Vulcans (Vulcans)

Doesn’t make us better than you

But at least we’re not rude, not rude, not rude, not rude

Which is more than we can say for you

©Emily Ecrivaine (2014)

A Preemptive Strike By Leslie

*Comes out of the Panic Room and surveys the carnage: Jess lays, strapped to the Frankenstein table from "Monster Movie", nearly comatose; Emily is passed out at the control board, her paralyzed hands still gripping the lever; Calmly, Leslie takes her seat in an odd-looking armchair with a lightbulb attached at the top*

Well, I suppose my turn had to be coming, hadn't it? But since the two are... *ahem* indisposed for the moment, I believe this is my opportunity to conduct my own interview with impunity. Ready?

1. Primary Fandom? Off the top of my head, as far as famous fandoms go, I would certainly say Sherlock ... But really, that's a class unto itself, rooted in a long tradition with expert show runners. As far as "regular" shows that I avidly follow and have seen every episode at least twice and am deeply immersed in all the fandom and fanfiction at LEAST as ardently as Emily is devoted to Supernatural, it would be Grimm.

Why in the world would you choose that show? Bias, obviously--it's filmed and set in my area! But, aside from the setting, I am deeply a fan of the awesome writing--from the development of the protagonists and the consistency of the villains, to the inventive story arcs and the fact that it's been three seasons and there is still lore from the first season that has yet to be pursued. I am convinced that it certainly has the potential to be every bit as amazing as Supernatural.

2. Secret fandom crush? What the... How the heck did that get in here? [looks between the two comatose girls, secretly suspecting that one or the other (or both) might be a poltergeist] Oh brother... I guess I had it coming, didn't I? Well guess what... It's Gabriel Vaughn, from the little-known show, Intelligence. (Don't know him? Bummer! Hey, it's not my fault a perfectly good show got cancelled by the time it got its legs under it!)

Yeah, I know... Somebody that good-looking would be an obvious choice... but I'm not the kind of girl who is a sucker for good-looking men, because there are a LOT of hot jerks out there, am I right? 

So... Why him? Because I adore his portrayal: he is chivalrous, snarky, strong, humble—and a solid team player to boot! If there is anybody I'd want to have my back in a dangerous situation, it's him.  I always love that when a protagonist is actually moral. Nothing sullies a good crush like rooting for a guy who would not be the sort of guy you would date in real life.

3. Favorite character couple? Hmm, I might have to go with Detective Kevin Ryan and his wife Jenny on Castle--even though she's only been on a few times, with him being a secondary character and all. But the relationship is fantastic. THEY ARE TOTALLY THE CUTEST COUPLE ON TV!!!

Really? What makes you say that? Well, for starters, they're a real-life couple--and the chemistry really shows. And in an era of television where it seems like so many shows ride on romantic ambiguity, the existence of a solid relationship in a show is a thing of beauty. (And considering that it's ABC--the most notorious offender for Unnecessary Romantic Angst--it's even more remarkable!)
   

4. You mentioned earlier that you write fanfiction; what kind of fanfiction do you write? Mostly it's "fan-made episodes" of shows that I really like, the ones that have plenty of lore for me to work with. So when I write a fanfiction, you're going to get a complete story.

How many fanfics have you published? I've started 25, to date. Twenty-one of them I managed to complete, and the other four are still in progress.

Holy smokes! Any of them one-shots? Nope, not a one; my shortest fic is 5K+.

Which fandoms? Well, let's see: I have Merlin, Batman, Warehouse 13, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Stargate SG-1, Chronicles of Narnia, Intelligence, Grimm, Once Upon A Time, Eureka, A Gifted Man, Percy Jackson, Haven... and I most recently started a Supernatural/Grimm crossover.

I don't see any Sherlock or Doctor Who in there.... I am convinced I will never be good enough to write a Sherlock episode. You might as well get me to write an entire feature-length film. Nope, never gonna happen. And there is some Doctor Who... I did a Stargate SG-1/Doctor Who crossover, but it didn't really work out and it kinda got picked on a lot because I am definitely a bigger Stargate fan than a Whovian. 

HERESY! Sorry, that's just the way it is.

Do you do any shipping of different characters than the original show, just to see what happens--or maybe because you disagree with a ship that happened? No; I'm really not a fan of fluffy smut, and I don't really do any non-canon shipping in any of my fanfics. It's just good, canon fun, the "Episodes That Should Have Aired", as I like to call them.

Hmph, well okay, moving on...

5. Best finale ever? Eureka's Grand Show Finale.

Really? Yep.

Not even going to think about it? Nope.

Yeah right... I bet you'd break down crying if I mention the R-Word. What R-word?

Reichenbach. HA! Well, I'll admit, that got me pretty good... but as I said before, I regard Sherlock as a class all of its own... hence it's just Eureka versus the rest of TVLand. And Eureka wins.

Why? If you haven't seen the show, you won't get it... but believe me when I say I had the BIGGEST FREAKOUT OF MY LIFE (Pre-Sherlock, of course) when it ended... but in a good way... and no other show finale has even come close. 

Suddenly, over by the lever, an errant spark flickers at Emily's fingertips, and she drags herself upright.....

Oh boy.... here it comes....

Oh Leslie, What About Mal From Firefly/Serenity? (Also Known As Richard Castle, Captain Hammer, and Hermes?) What are your thoughts on him? Nathan Fillion? Brilliant man... absolutely stunning actor, he can deliver the most screwball lines with absolute sincerity, and evidently he's the same great guy off set and on... Richard Castle has to be his best role, though; he gets to be a father, a romantic... and I'm pretty sure he nails the "writer" psyche pretty dang well...

The great thing about Nathan is that he has been a part of so many big-ticket items (and he knows it) so practically every appearance since Firefly has contained some reference to another show. (Like all the Firefly references on Castle--plus some guest appearances by Zoe Washburne and Jayne!--and when Hermes assures Percy Jackson that "Hercules Busts Heads" is the "Best show on television... except Castle.") He totally does it. (Incidentally, the Richard Castle novels are jam-packed with references to the show! It's hilarious!)

Favorite SPN episode that you have seen? Gee whiz, it's always about SPN for you, isn't it? *eye roll* Well... for laughs I would have to go with The French Mistake, obviously... But as far as the dynamic between the brothers and really delving into motivations and psyche in a truly AMAZING way, I'd have to say After-School Special. Just, you know, accentuating the difference between how Dean views life outside of hunting as... really, as what he says in Slash Fiction: "I deserve something good in my life right now." He is convinced that what he does while hunting makes him such an amazing guy and a perfectly irresistible hero that it doesn't matter what he does in his "me-time." Whereas Sam, even at that young age, around people they will only see for about a month and then never again, is still looking out for kids who are getting picked on, looking for the kids who need his help. 

Favourite Buffy character and/or episode? (Haha... Told ya you'd like that series...) Spike, duh. James Marsters is the reason I started watching Buffy! (after his guest appearance on my favorite show at the time, Warehouse 13) His accent is wonderful, and he's got such a panache and flair in his delivery, and his comedic timing is dead-on. He knows how to "sail the dream-boat" without preening and making all serious fangirls gag; he's a "villain" but he's too likeable and noble to really be hated ever at all!

Bored, Emily starts fiddling with buttons on the control panel. She strikes one, and Jess stirs...

Why do you love Nathan so much? What is the thing you see in him that makes you go back for more? Geesh, excited much? No really, the thing I love most about Nathan is his impeccable delivery. He can find himself in the strangest situation and he handles it perfectly. There is not a missed beat, a dropped word--and his ad-libbing is a thing of beauty. The thing that keeps me coming back to shows like Castle is the absolute assurance he has given that he can deliver the most shoddy writing with total conviction. He's just an all-around great guy who receives marvelous roles and knows how to entertain viewers without resorting to juvenile tactics, potty humor, or nudity (except when some corn-ball writer can't help himself.... but even then, Nathan owns it without the slightest hesitation)

What are your thoughts on Caskett? Early on in the show, I remember groaning, "Oh dear sweet mother of pie, not another one!" But then... 

As it turned out, the writers managed to take "yet another romantic fling" and turn it into a thing of beauty. It starts out cliche, but--unlike so many TV relationships--it actually works out, and it's obvious that both sides are willing to do whatever it takes to stay together, instead of calling it quits and packing it in the minute the going gets tough. There is a lot to be learned from being able to write a leading couple like that!

Who is your favorite character in Grimm? Yay Grimm!! I'd have to say...

 Sean Renard... and not because of the shirtless factor... I'm actually a super-fan of the actor, Sasha Roiz. My choice of Renard is also due to the fantastic writing.

Renard served as the "Villain Enabler" for Season 1--and so of course I hated him. HATED. HIM. SO. BADLY. He was in league with all the bad guys and he was powerful, and he was able to use his authority to make things difficult for the hero.

Season 2 brought on a love triangle--which in every other show spells the kiss of death for the hero who has basically felt that he has to lie and keep his alternate ego a secret because he's afraid of losing his girl... and then of course her lack of knowledge threatens her life and their relationship... but Renard (the second man of the triangle) responds to the goings on LIKE NO OTHER MAN IN TV HISTORY and ends up on the side of the good guys, helping them out (at least so far...). Seriously, that Love Triangle Resolution is the best thing to ever happen in a TV show, and it certainly was the best thing to happen on Grimm. (That, and the hero ends up actually telling his girlfriend the truth, and SURPRISE, she accepts it!)

Leslie sees that there are no further questions.

Are we done here? Guys? Wait... no, Emily, what are you doing?

 Wat r u doin? Stahp! Get away from that lev--Jess? Help me out here!

NOOO!!!!