Clap (parody of 'Applause')

I’ve heard that people are supposed to change with time

But whoever first said that hadn’t seen a life like mine

I don’t mean to sound rude but I already know

What I’m supposed to be and I don’t need to grow

I’ve got life figured out, no need to shout

I’m confident and not plagued with any semblance of doubt

So put up your hands and cheer for me

I’m what you all should want to be

Give me that thing that I love; your admiration!

Because I deserve it all, no fabrication!

I’m awesome and I know it, no exaggeration!

There’s no way you can top this; no replication

O-M-G E-G-O what’s that you’re saying?

I’m just a fame addict? Well that’s ignorant braying

Clearly you don’t understand what I’ve been saying

Your lack of faith is extremely dismaying

Perhaps you’re just a critic because you’re jealous

I’m sorry you feel that way but I can’t turn this off

One second at the bottom, next moment at the top

I am such perfection why should I ever choose to stop?

I live for the applause, so give me pause

You know I’m worth your time you’d be worthless without me

Adulation affirmation

Because you know I’m great, not late

I am the definition of egotistic

Now don’t you all just believe that I am perfect?

So won’t you pursue me? Your only object?

Your mission is worship me, now do you accept?

O-M-G E-G-O I am amazing

You’re clapping and cheering for me, so affirming

You’ve fed the beast and now I’m slowly mutating

Into a monster of fame, I’m the greatest thing

Since sliced bread

Ooh-ooh-ooh-hoo

Ooh-ooh-ooh-hoo

Ooh-ooh-ooh-hoo

Ooh-ooh

I live for the applause; it is my cause

To be the primadonna that you all want more of

I almost break all the mirrors, and blind cameras

Because I’m so bright and so ultra glamorous

O-M-G E-G-O But I deserve it

I don’t understand why you’re all in a snit

O-V-E-R-T-H-E-T-O-P

Down’s the only way that you can go from the top