Showing posts with label songs. Show all posts
Showing posts with label songs. Show all posts

Friday, August 29, 2014

Trinity (Parody of '3')



One, two, three
Harry, Ron, Hermione
That’s the power of three
Doctor, Rory, Amy

Counting…

One, Two, Three
Dean and Cas and Sammy
That’s the power of three
No one can disagree

Superwholock
Why is it always
When something big happens 
You are to blame?
All the ships sink
Bermuda Triangle
And everybody dies
And feels are mangled

Unholy trinity
Mofftiss, Whedon, Kripke; they are deadly
Rowling, Collins, Green

Sobbing…

One, two, three
Harry, Ron, Hermione
That’s the power of three
Doctor, Rory, Amy

Counting…

One, Two, Three
Dean and Cas and Sammy
That’s the power of three
No one can disagree

One, two, three
Hunger Games trilogy
There’s a power of three
In Greek mythology

Counting…

One, two, three
Aragorn, Legolas, Gimli
See the power of three
Edmund, Eustace, Lucy

Three is a charm
Two is not the same
A third wheel always
Helps with stability
So no it’s not true
That three is company
Those who say that have not
Seen the power of three

Unholy trinity
Mofftiss, Whedon, Kripke; they are deadly
Rowling, Collins, Green

Sobbing…

One, two, three
Harry, Ron, Hermione
That’s the power of three
Doctor, Rory, Amy

Counting…

One, Two, Three
Dean and Cas and Sammy
That’s the power of three
No one can disagree

Of course it isn’t always perfect
‘Cause sometimes Death comes to collect
So don’t count on your BroT3
Living through the season finale
Unholy 
Trinity
Get four or even more

One, two, three
Harry, Ron, Hermione
That’s the power of three
Doctor, Rory, Amy

Counting…

One, Two, Three
Dean and Cas and Sammy
That’s the power of three
No one can disagree

Tuesday, August 26, 2014

Clap (parody of 'Applause')


I’ve heard that people are supposed to change with time
But whoever first said that hadn’t seen a life like mine
I don’t mean to sound rude but I already know
What I’m supposed to be and I don’t need to grow

I’ve got life figured out, no need to shout
I’m confident and not plagued with any semblance of doubt
So put up your hands and cheer for me
I’m what you all should want to be

Give me that thing that I love; your admiration!
Because I deserve it all, no fabrication!
I’m awesome and I know it, no exaggeration!
There’s no way you can top this; no replication

O-M-G E-G-O what’s that you’re saying?
I’m just a fame addict? Well that’s ignorant braying
Clearly you don’t understand what I’ve been saying
Your lack of faith is extremely dismaying

Perhaps you’re just a critic because you’re jealous
I’m sorry you feel that way but I can’t turn this off
One second at the bottom, next moment at the top
I am such perfection why should I ever choose to stop?

I live for the applause, so give me pause
You know I’m worth your time you’d be worthless without me
Adulation affirmation
Because you know I’m great, not late

I am the definition of egotistic
Now don’t you all just believe that I am perfect?
So won’t you pursue me? Your only object?
Your mission is worship me, now do you accept?

O-M-G E-G-O I am amazing
You’re clapping and cheering for me, so affirming
You’ve fed the beast and now I’m slowly mutating
Into a monster of fame, I’m the greatest thing

Since sliced bread
Ooh-ooh-ooh-hoo
Ooh-ooh-ooh-hoo

Ooh-ooh-ooh-hoo

Ooh-ooh


I live for the applause; it is my cause
To be the primadonna that you all want more of
I almost break all the mirrors, and blind cameras
Because I’m so bright and so ultra glamorous

O-M-G E-G-O But I deserve it
I don’t understand why you’re all in a snit
O-V-E-R-T-H-E-T-O-P
Down’s the only way that you can go from the top

Friday, August 22, 2014

"That Rebel Night" (A Star Wars Parody)

 (Parody of Katy Perry's "Last Friday Night")
There are troopers on patrol,
Folks imprisoned in the hull,
Man I just got this disguise,
Helmet covers up my eyes;
Got the Death Star on the move,
Got Lord Vader in a mood,
Don't know how we got this far;
That a droid or just a guard?
 
 

Princess Leia's trapped and the comm's been tapped,
We're screwed—oh well!
Better shed that suit,
Take the garbage chute,
Look out now! (Frell!)
 

With Rebel might—
Yeah, we nicked the Empire's plans,
Took them right out of their hands,
Think that no one understands
 
 

With Rebel might—
Yeah we risked a lot to win,
Till Destroyers took us in,
Then we slipped them out again
 
 

That Rebel night—
Couple droids escaped the ship,
Vader didn't see them skip,
So they took a little trip
Into the night—
Met a simple farming boy,
Picked them up to help with chores,
Till he learned about the Force!
 
 

This Rebel Night
We'll outsmart the Sith!
This Rebel night
We'll outsmart the Sith!
 
 

Ben Kenobi's on a roll,
With the boy and droids he stole,
Got a Falcon, got a Han,
Got in trouble, now they're gone!
First they're running like a dream,
Then they meet a tractor beam;
Break the Princess out of jail,
This was not an epic fail!
 
 

Now the Jedi's here,
Can't give in to fear
Or hate—no way!
Just control the Force,
Cause we don't endorse
The anger—Hey!
 
 

That Empire night,
Stopped in Bespin for a bite,
Luke and Vader had a fight,
Han was cased in carbonite!
 
 

Yeah, Jedi Knights!
Jabba's party on the skiff,
Got some allies in their midst,
Went and left them all adrift!
 
 

When Rebels fight—
Yeah we made Lord Vader cry,
Half a Death Star in the sky,
Might not kill it, but we'll try!
When Rebels fight—
Met some Ewoks on a moon,
Pitched a battle, pretty soon,
Vader's army went KABOOM!!
 
 

We won the fight—
We're all free once more!
We won that fight!
No more Emperor! 
 
 
©Leslie Conzatti (2014)

Tuesday, August 19, 2014

I Can't Stop


A starving artist driving herself mad
Trying to salvage writing that is bad
Crying over fanfiction that is really sad
Pajamas are plaid
It’s all she had

Writing the next great bestseller
Burning through poetry helter-skelter
Too much time inside, giving her pallor
A storyteller
A blog-dweller

Blunt pens and crumpled pages everywhere
Trying not to rip out my hair
Because the words aren't cooperating
So I'm crying and perspirating

The characters are so bland
Got writer's cramp in my hand
Better plan on no sleep tonight
Gotta work until I get this right

Gotta write something
My mind is exploding
My fingers are itching
But somehow the words won't come
Got writer's block
Keyboard is locked

But I can't stop,
And I won't stop
Because sleep is not for me
Not until I fix this analogy

And I can't stop
No I won't stop
Got punctuation to double-check
Gotta research how to varnish a deck
Yeah, yeah

She’s going crazy from a lack of sleep
Crying over posts that aren’t actually so deep
Breaking her keyboard from an abuse of ‘delete’
Rinse and repeat
Admit defeat

My phone rang and broke my train of thought
Low on sleep and overwrought
But this rhyme scheme’s bugging me
Why did I ever start writing poetry?
The publisher sent back my book
Said that it needs lots of work
I’m so disgusted
Pencil lead’s busted, oh no!

And nothing is working
My stomach is churning
My tired eyes burning
Because this is the millionth time
That I’ve re-written
This manuscript

But I can’t stop
And I won’t stop
Until the dialogue is smooth and nice
Even if I have to rework it thrice

So I can’t stop
And I won’t stop
Living off bread and water
Sneezed and dripped coffee all over
Oh fudge!

Lack of sleep and too much caffeine
Wastes time reading old magazines
Procrastinating writing that scene
Stuck in-between
Criticism’s extreme

This is the life story of all
Writers whether they’re big or small
Too many ideas, cannot use them all
Head against wall
Need an overhaul

But we can’t stop
And we won’t stop
Because there’s so many tales to tell
Another re-imagining of how Rome fell

So we can’t stop
And we won’t stop
There’s scripts and fanfiction
Writing is our addiction
We’re doomed.



Sunday, August 17, 2014

Joker Face


(Parody of 'Poker Face')

I started as a nobody and grew up as a freak
But that was before I made the news going on a crime spree
My girlfriend is a harlequin, my pranks second to none
And we all know Russian Roulette’s not fun without a gun

Oh, ohhhh, oh, ohhhh, oh
I prank and trick, I’m hilarious
Oh, ohhhh, oh, ohhhh, oh
I have to ask: “Why so serious?”

Can’t read my, can’t read my, no they can’t read my Joker face
‘Cause I’m a psychopathic killer
Can’t read my, can’t read my, no they can’t read my Joker face
My theme song is M Jackson’s ‘Thriller’

J-j-j-joker face, J-j-joker face
(You’re stuttering)
J-j-j-joker face, J-j-joker face
(Stop muttering)

Stop being such a wimp; didn’t you get the joke?
Well then I guess it’s time that your fingers were broke
My story’s sad because my dad was just a lazy bum
Who drank too much and hit me up, never let me have fun

Oh, ohhhh, oh, ohhh, oh
I had no chance, to be a kid
Oh, ohhhh, oh, ohhh, oh
So now I take every chance I get

Can’t read my, can’t read my, no they can’t read my Joker face
‘Cause I’m a psychopathic killer
Can’t read my, can’t read my, no they can’t read my Joker face
My theme song is M Jackson’s ‘Thriller’

Harley, come get the piranhas
Getting tired of this drama
I came out here for some fun
I’m not lying, I’m just a big kid at heart, looking
For a party and a joke
And maybe a little chaos
Because I’m all about the games
I never promised it would be painless

Can’t read my, can’t read my, no they can’t read my Joker face
‘Cause I’m a psychopathic killer
Can’t read my, can’t read my, no they can’t read my Joker face
My theme song is M Jackson’s ‘Thriller’

J-j-j-joker face, J-j-joker face
(You’re stuttering)
J-j-j-joker face, J-j-joker face
(Stop muttering)

J-j-j-joker face, J-j-joker face
(You’re stuttering)
J-j-j-joker face, J-j-joker face
(Stop muttering)

J-j-j-joker face, J-j-joker face
(You’re stuttering)
J-j-j-joker face, J-j-joker face
(There’s no running)


Saturday, August 16, 2014

Peter (Parody of 'Judas')


Oh-oh-no I’m in love with Spiderman, Spiderman
Oh-oh-no I’m in love with Spiderman, Spiderman

Peter, Peter Parker
Peter, Peter Parker 
Peter, Peter Parker
Peter, Peter Parker

Peter, Peter Parker
Peter, Peter Parker 
Peter, Peter Parker
Spidey, Spiderman!

We’ve known each other ever since first grade
He was a dork and I was Mary Jane
But then the eency weency spider came
And Peter Parker got a cool upgrade

Oh-oh-oh He’s now a spider, and a crime fighter
Oh-oh-oh A vigilante, who’s in love with me

I don’t know what he is, but I do know I’m his
Because he saved me from the balcony
He’s fought a lot of villains and killed the Green Goblin
And he’s made a lot of enemies

I’m not sure if this is wise, but I know he’ll always be in my
Heart even if I say no and leave him for time twenty-two

It’s all for his own good
No I’m not just in a mood
Not trying to be rude
I’m sorry that I made him brood

I know that people think that I’m a fool
A damsel in distress, unwitting tool
Eye candy for Peter to have to save
He deserves better is what they’ll rant and rave

I can’t deny that I can be so shy and needy
And I know I’m one dimensional, not very sensible

I’m sorry for my writing, it’s not all that exciting
But I’m not the one behind the scenes
I’m just in love with Peter, I know now he’s a keeper
And somebody’s got to be there to scream

So I guess I’ll play the girl he has to save along with the world
It hurt my heart when he was down and Venom beat him to the ground

And though now in the reboots
He got a girl in cahoots
She isn’t me but I don’t really mind
Because I’ve got my Peter
My red and blue clad savior
And though Doctor Who made the new
He suits me fine

I’ll always love him
But something’s always pulling me away
If feels like we’ll never win
But at least we escape to fight another day
Another day

Well Peter does the fighting because of lousy writing
And I love him even though I’m flat
I’m a redhead, not a blond; this is why our franchise bombed
And why do I take all the flack?

I’m just a girl who is hopelessly in love with Spiderman
He swings from buildings up above and saves the children on the van

Peter, Peter Parker
Such a smart-mouthed snarker
Peter, Peter Parker
My brave superhero

Saturday, August 2, 2014

Shopping Mall


         


Black Friday came, got our coupons saved, 70% off!
Brand new TV’s, retro DVD’s, a portrait of Rachmaninoff
We scrimped and we saved
Prepping for this day
‘Best bargains of the year!’
No, Miss Gator Purse
You won’t get there first
Missing it’s my greatest fear

Oh it’s madness at the shopping mall
As the shoppers flock and push and shove
Mashed against the doors before them all
I wonder “Does all this trouble pay back enough?”
This crowd seems kind of rough!

Inside you’ll find nobody’s kind as we fight over the last shoe
It’s sick, insane, a messed-up game, but what else can we do?
Happens once a year
Money’s oh so dear
Gotta go to the sales
After Thanksgiving
Buy everything
Reduced prices, you cannot fail

Oh it’s madness at the shopping mall
As we help boost the economy
Consumerism’s taking over all
Of our brains and leaving us with stuff we don’t need

I never meant to start a fight
I just needed those gloves more than you
I’m sorry for the knee to the gut
But I need the toilet cleaner too
I never meant to start a war
Are you gonna sit and sulk and stew?
Well, in that case the joke’s on you

Everything you’ll miss with this hissy fit
Bruises are part of the day

Because it’s madness in the shopping mall
As the shoppers flock and push and shove
Stay on your toes and on the ball
If you want to walk out with something to show

For your suffering at the shopping mall
Is it worth it to come way out here
And fight each other over re-hashed sales
That were tried out on us, earlier this year?
I pity the poor cashiers!


©Emily Ecrivaine (2014)

Friday, August 1, 2014

Talk Nerdy To Me

My reaction to 95% of pop stars...including the one who performed today's song to be parodied.

         By now most of you possessing functioning radios and ears have probably heard the Jason Derulo single 'Talk Dirty To Me'. If you haven't, consider yourself lucky. If you have, I apologise. I know I had nothing to do with the writing, producing, or distribution of this song...but I still apologise. On behalf of all 'dumb guys who get laid a lot and then sing about it', I would like to apologise for them. They don't know any better. Not that that's really an excuse...

        ESPECIALLY for what he did to this song! Oh sure the lyrics are filthy, disgusting, and objectify women like there's no tomorrow (and not even in ways that could be seen as a lame attempt at 'complimentary' or 'funny') but the musician in me just sobs that these offensive and badly-written lyrics were assigned to such a great backing track. Seriously. How could they go so wrong with that funky beat and catchy brass section? Hmmm. Where do I begin?

       Nope. No. I'm not going to do it. First of all, I don't wish to pollute my mind further with that reprehensible waste of good music that isn't worth my time. Secondly, I don't think Mr. Derulo deserves (or cares about) my opinion on his chart-topping single. Thirdly, I don't want to give it any more unneeded recognition. So I wrote some alternate lyrics for us all to sing next time it gets stuck in our heads. I apologise for the clunky rhyming scheme. I had to follow what was originally set in stone, after all.


Time to log into Facebook, check the dashboard feed
That new Hawkeye teeshirt, is just what I need
Can’t answer the age-old question
Star Trek or Star Wars?
But I stay loyal to The Doctor
Could I ask for more?

Got collectibles of Darth Vader and Luke
I hope Jar Jar Binks gets nuked
All you really need to understand is
How to talk nerdy to me
Talk nerdy to me
Talk nerdy to me
Talk nerdy to me
Throw some geek in too

Come watch The Hunger Games
Come read The Hobbit
Oh I can show you the world
Open your mind to it

I’ll be the friend at your side
Hogwarts to Arda
Through space and time together
The Merlin to your Arthur

There’s a whole world out there to be explored
And when you come to the end, then you’ll be wanting more
So keep it simple, start with Psyche
And then you can talk nerdy to me
Talk nerdy to me
Talk nerdy to me

TV – The Big Bang Theory
Books – Redwall and Percy
Films – Guardians of the Galaxy
Yes, I know I’m white and nerdy
Oh yeah!

It’s Orphan Black and Veronica Mars
Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. and The Fault in Our Stars
Math and science, language and grammar
It’s fun to fill your mind and banter
Gathering knowledge from every corner
You’re an inter-dimensional explorer
Making friends ‘twixt the pages of a book
There’s Peter, Wendy, Captain Hook
Or maybe you prefer to watch them on TV
Where Peter is evil and mean as can be
I want to share these things with you
They’re so wonderful, full of great value
You’ll be glad you started, though you’re never done
So d’you think you’re ready to join a fandom?
Insanity or boredom, pick your poison

Come on, admit it, you enjoyed that fanfic
Not like I'm asking you to belt out Queen in public
If you want there’s a House marathon tonight
So come and talk nerdy with me
Talk nerdy with me
Talk nerdy with me
Talk nerdy with me
Talk nerdy with me
Throw a little geek in
  

Thursday, July 31, 2014

The Feels Never Bothered Me Anyway (A Frozen Parody)


The scene pans out as the character dies,
Not a glimmer of hope to be seen--
Unless the show is cancelled,
I hope a fake-out is routine;
I'm forced to linger with this swirling storm inside--
I can't help myself, heaven knows I've tried...



Don't get attached, just let them go—
For heaven's sake, it's just a show!
They're actors, paid to make a scene—
But they're real to me!!!!!



Let it out! Let it out!
Can't hold it in any more!
Let it out! Let it out!
I don't have to be so sore!
I don't care what they have in store!
Let the show move on!
The feels never bothered me anyway!


It's funny how good scripting
Can make me feel so strong!
It's sheer manipulation,
And it's why I wrote this song!
It's time to realize my feels,
I've reached the limit, I can't deal!
You've killed him off, just for the views—
I feel so used!



Let it out! Let it out!
Let's just admit I cried!
Let it out! Let it out!
My brain and heart are fried!
Why did you make me like this guy?
How can life go on?


Emotions flurry every time I see his face;
I'm fantasizing rescues from that unfair coup de grace!
In memes and fanfiction, I've found my happy place!
I'm never going back! I've joined the Fandom Race!!
 

Let it out! Let it out!
Our freak flag's flying high!
Let it out! Let it out!
The best ones ne'er say die!!
Here I stand as the music fades
Screaming in the dark...




The feels get the best of me every time. 

© Leslie Conzatti

Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Top Ten SPN Character Introductions


        Characters are the vital element to making any story work. If your characters are off, it doesn't matter how good the rest of the show is because it is going to fail. If the audience can't get invested in the characters, then they're really not going to care whether or not the good guys succeed or die. 

        And one of the key parts of getting the audience invested in the characters is the introduction you give to them. Any good character will usually have an intro that makes the audience sit up and take notice. Where would we be without Gandalf's introduction from The Hobbit? Would Hagrid have had the same impact on us if he hadn't come speeding in on that flying motorbike? No. Probably not. Introductions are SO important!
       Here be spoilers...


10: Jo & Ellen Harvelle (Season 2 "Everybody Loves A Clown")
         I'll admit that I warmed to Ellen long before I fell in love with Jo, but these two tough ladies definitely had a memorable entrance what with the Winchesters breaking into their bar around noon and both girls managing to get the drop on our boys and hold them at gunpoint for an interrogation. Not only does it cement the Harvelles as tough, no-nonsense women of action who can hold their own in the hunter world of dudes, but it's also funny as all get out! Not often does someone manage to outsmart both Sam and Dean, so I laughed and laughed whenever this happened.


9: John Winchester (Season 1 "Shadow")
        John's introduction is certainly memorable. For most of the first season the story is all about Sam and Dean searching for their elusive father and running into hunts along the way. We had heard so much about John, whether through Sam's rants or Dean's hints, that the character was built up HUGE. It could easily have been a huge let-down whenever we met the man himself, but no. Not only did he just pop in for a hug and a fight with the shadow demons at the end of the episode, but John Winchester also managed to live up to expectations and show us that he honestly does love his kids at the same time.


8: Charlie (Season 7 "The Girl With The Dungeons & Dragons Tattoo")
         Okay. So I think Charlie may be my favorite SPN character? Maybe. I'm still deciding between her, Gabriel, and Jody...but she definitely is close to beating the other two out simply by the fact that she's still around and only becomes more wonderful with each episode. But it was her introduction that really got my attention - dancing in through the door of Roman Industries to 'I'm Walking On Sunshine' and wearing a Princess Leia tee that I am so coveting! Charlie showed herself to be smart, resourceful, geeky, and very brave - all within her introductory episode. She's just awesome.


7: Lucifer (Season 5 "Sympathy for the Devil")
          Out of all depictions of the Devil I have seen in media, literature, and music...this is probably the closest to what we can imagine he'd be like if we should ever meet him. He's actually portrayed very sympathetically...a liar with honey on his tongue who professes to be more honest than the good guys and is willing to tell just enough truth to either make his lies stronger or to trick you into thinking the opposite of the truth. He acts very gentle and understanding and behaves as though he's just the neglected son (the victim) in this whole Heavenly muck-up. His introduction is no different as, like a shark, he chooses his prey carefully. He goes after Nick, a man who has just lost his wife and newborn baby to a burglary/murder, and starts gently integrating himself into the man's thoughts and mind. He slowly sinks in the tentacles of doubt and anger until he has his hooks into Nick and the poor man doesn't know which way is up and which way is down. Then he goes in for the kill by reminding Nick of the age-old question of "How can you say God is loving if he allows such terrible things to happen? Let me in. I can give you what you want, what you need." Deep stuff, absolutely wonderful and thought-provoking, and a perfect introduction to this version of the Father of Lies.


7: Dean Winchester (Season 1 "Pilot/The Woman In White")
         No I'm not talking about the scene where he breaks into Sam's apartment and wrestles him to the ground with a couple witty quips. That's not our introduction to Dean Winchester. No, our introduction comes much earlier in the pilot whenever a young boy kisses his baby brother goodnight and runs over to hug mummy and daddy. Then, mere hours later for him and mere moments later for us, that same baby brother is thrust into his arms and he's instructed to "Take your brother outside as fast as you can and don't look back. Now, Dean, GO!". Four years old, he doesn't question it, he just takes Sam and runs. That right there cements Dean's character to us as well as showing us his life's mission above saving people, above hunting things, above everything: Take Care Of Sammy.


6: Kevin Tran (Season 7 "Reading Is Fundamental")
          Getting struck by lighting and having the Word of God start resonating in your mind...it doesn't get much more dramatic than that! Kevin is only the second prophet we've seen on the show (the other one was Chuck, and the jury's still out on him) and we'd never seen one actually be activated before. Kevin is first introduced as the stereotypical over-achiever. He plays cello for exactly an hour every day, has his day planned out down to the second as to how he is going to study, practice, study, and drink a soda. That is all shook up, though, whenever the Tablet is recovered from the vault of the Earth and Kevin is irreparably drawn into the world of Heavenly War.


5: Famine (Season 5 "My Bloody Valentine")
         While normally I am annoyed or disgusted whenever films or shows try to delve into Biblical mythology (or mythology in general) because they tend to either over-simplify it, do it for cheap laughs or gimmicks, or just unapologetically get it wrong and mangle it beyond all recognition, I actually really like the way that Supernatural handled these elements. Obviously not everything was done right, but the stuff that they got right was a lot and was done REALLY right. The entrance of Famine was no difference. I think that Castiel's voice-over is even quoting directly from the Book of Revelations. Everything from the lighting to the text to the ominous music just serves to send chills up your spine and the feeling that there is an unstoppable menace coming settling in your heart.


4: The Trickster/Loki/Gabriel (Season 2 "Tall Tales")
      No I didn't just put him on this list because he's my favorite angel (Stop SMIRKING, Jessica!) No, ol' Gabe is on my list because of his introduction. At the time of his character's creation, I don't really think that Kipke and the rest even had the idea for the angels yet...he was just an ambiguous demi-god with a fondness for sweets and pranks. We first get a glimpse of him whenever an adulterous professor is flung from a second-story window to his death and, at the time, we have no idea that this janitor is the one responsible. The mystery only grows from there...


3: The Ghostfacers (Season 1 "Hell House")
       I did a Google Images search for 'Harry and Ed' which was really dumb, apparently, because all I got were a bunch of pictures of 1 Direction and Ed Sheeran. Why, God, why?!  Not that there is anything wrong with Ed and Harry, it's just unbelievably frustrating whenever you're looking for one picture and instead you get myriads of others. Anyway. Rant over...on to Harry and Ed, co-leaders of the Ghostfacers. They were introduced all the way back in Season 1 during the truly epic prank war between Sam and Dean. They are supernerds, aspiring internet stars, and the co-runners/founders of the Ghostfacers.


2: Death (Season 5 "Two Minutes To Midnight")
        Can we say E.P.I.C.?! Yes. Few things can top the entrance of the Horseman, Death, on this show. Not only is the music and lighting and slow-motion and shots beautifully meshed together to create great atmosphere...but it's also Death. You know, that thing that the other three Horsemen bring about but don't control? Yeah. Super chilling!


1: Castiel (Season 4 "Lazarus Rising")
            I put this one above Death for one very simple reason: Castiel was built up better. Allow me to take you back five seasons to when we had no idea that angels existed in the SPN universe. I'll be the first to admit that I binge-watched this show and so haven't followed it from the very start (Gimme a break..I was barely in double digits when it started!) but I actually managed to avoid spoilers rather well. Here is what I knew about the show: It's about two brothers, the fandom has a gif for everything, they fight Lucifer at some point, and there's some dude named 'Cas' that everyone seems to love but who I think looks like Columbo in his younger days. That was it. So I was wholly unprepared for the TREMENDOUS build-up that Cas' introduction was given. So Dean went to Hell at the end of Season 3 and then wakes up in his coffin in this episode. The ground is nuked, grass scorched, trees knocked down, and Dean himself is sporting a branded handprint on his shoulder. Even the demons are afraid of this creature whose voice breaks glass and whose true form burns out a woman's eyes. It's cosmic and the writers spend the entire episode building up the reveal carefully so that tensions and expectations were high. And they did not disappoint!

Thursday, July 24, 2014

Why Write?



        Let's face it, fangirls and fanboys, most of us are not going to become rich and famous off of our writing. Oh sure maybe 50 Shades of Grey made the jump from Twilight fanfiction smut to horrible original fiction smut (judging from what I've heard), but that doesn't mean all of us will become so successful with our endeavors.

       So why write? Why should anyone even bother writing if they're going to end up as a starving artist living off of cereal and whatever they can afford to wash that cereal down with that particular week? Sheesh...for that matter...why do we spend our time writing these articles and reviews? We're not getting paid for it. Stories of people getting rich and famous off of blogging or YouTube are the exception, not the rule. So why bother in the first place?

      To answer that question, first we have to look at why on earth we would ever want to write in the first place. Are you just doing it to get rich? Well if you are, then you'd better either start writing cheap smut or get out of the business fast because you're probably not going to succeed. But if, on the other hand, you are writing because you love stories and building worlds and escaping from the wreckage and drag of day to day real life, then you are doing it right. For most of us our love of writing began at a fairly early age, even if we didn't know it at the time. Why? Because many writers began in their childhood as bookworms.

Disclaimer: I am well aware that this is not always entirely true. Plenty of truly excellent and talented writers came into the reading and writing scene much later than I did and have shown both more success and more ability than I do. I am speaking in general terms here. Many people who decide to go into writing, especially the writing of stories, got their start reading novels and comics as children. Got it?


       Many of us grew up reading (or being read to) and discovering that it could be more than just a dragging school assignment to read. We discovered worlds and universes and friends beyond anything that we could find here in the real world. Dragons, elves, stormtroopers, mutants, werewolves, wizards, talking animals, grown men and women in spandex...the list just goes on and on.

        But for many of us, as we grew older, playing in those sandboxes and visiting those worlds wasn't enough. We reached the end of our beloved book series' (and the corresponding films) and either found that we couldn't bear them ending or had little interest in the supernatural/dystopian renaissance in fiction. Which meant that we had nothing to read.


          Some of us then grew out of the bookworm phase, others learned to adapt our preferences and interests to follow the changing times, and still others graduated from reading to seriously thinking about writing. There's just something so magical about sitting down and sketching out an idea on paper, watching it slowly take shape and a mind of its own as the characters come to life and the world begins to expand. You choose every word and phrase carefully to mold the idea into something that will draw others in and make them want to return again and again. That's the miracle of creating a story, no matter what it is. Writing shouldn't be taken lightly. It's not something that can just be dashed off. It takes thought and care and a certain amount of dedication.

       But, of course, stories are not the only forms of writing and writers don't always start out as bookworms. I did...but I'm quite aware that I am not the archetype for the whole world. If creating stories isn't always how people get into writing, then what is? Really when it comes down to it, no matter what you're writing, it has to be because you see something in the world and have something to say about it. You are expressing yourself, much in the same way others do with music or dance or fashion.

        Some of us write about fairies; others of us write about algebraic equations. Some of us write poetry; others of us strictly stick to prose. It doesn't matter what you write or how you choose to format it and, to a point, it doesn't even matter if your English and grammar isn't utterly squeaky clean and perfect...because every time you write you get a little bit better at everything. Better at explaining your emotions, better at describing a scene, better at writing dialogue, better at analyzing a film or television show, better at rhyming words together in rhythm, better at creating a cohesive argument - you just get better at everything. As long as you love what you're doing, have something important to say, and are willing to listen to critique and constructive criticism, you're going to be improving every time you sit down and put words on a page.

        And guess what's even better! Not only will your writing skills improve every time you practice, but your quality of life and understanding of the world at large will as well. Have you ever heard the saying that "...in order to write, you have to read..."? Well I'd like to add a little something to that: "In order to write, and write well, you have to be willing to read and you have to close your mouth, use your ears/eyes, and observe people." It doesn't matter if you're writing a story or just an essay on toothbrush scum, understanding people is vital to being able to write and draw people's interest. You have to be willing to read at least something (be it a textbook or a novel) and absorb different writing styles and techniques. (This will also help expand your vocabulary beyond 'like' and 'so they said'.) You don't have to be a bookworm about it, but you do have to read at least something...even if it's just a script for your favorite television episode. The second thing you have to do is to open your eyes and look at the world around you. Why? Well because you can't just write about yourself! True there is a need to make things personal and to express your viewpoint and message in a clear way, but you also have to look at things from both side of the spectrum and at least consider what others are going to think/feel/react to whenever reading what you have to say. After, what's the worse thing that could happen: you might actually have to unplug your iPhone and listen to someone?! Oh the horror!

        My parents always said that "God gave us two ears and one mouth, so clearly he intended us to listen twice as much as we talk." (I'm paraphrasing...) Granted that was an occasionally hard lesson for motor-mouth me to swallow as I always had an opinion that I felt was worthy of acknowledgement, but I know that in the long run it has served me well. Certainly one gains more juicy material for writing sitting quietly in a room and watching others bicker and/or make fools of themselves than one would by jumping on the bandwagon and joining in.


       So we've talked about the benefits of world-building and of observing life, but what are some other reasons one might want to take up writing? Well...how about community? Yeah. Believe it or not, not all of we 'starving' artists live our lives like Christian from Moulin Rouge - depressed and angsty and drunk because we lost the love of our life that we knew for an hour before declaring ourselves to be in love. That's a rather romanticized vision of what artists and writers across the globe end up as. Really, usually we're a bit nerdy and a bit geeky (not that that's a bad thing) and because nerds and geeks must band together and have conventions and contests and debates as to whether Picard or Kirk is better, writing comes with community. It doesn't matter if it's 'fandom' or not, there's always going to be someone else out there who is also looking for a writing buddy and who will look over your work and tear it to shreds and then tape it back together looking better than before (and then usually ask you to do the same to their work). You meet some great people because you all have writing in common. And the really cool thing is that sometimes they are people that you never would have interacted with normally...but because you've found a common love for writing, you become friends and you get a whole new insight on life.


        So why do I personally write? I'd say that some of the reason is for the community aspect. I've met some amazing people through my love of writing and, of course, I've got my awesome team right here on this site. Friends, colleagues, and all-around lovely people they are...and I probably never would have met them if it weren't for writing.

        But that's not the primary reason I write. And other people shouldn't be the primary reason you write either. If you're just writing to please another person, you're either under a terrible contract or you're doing it wrong. Some writing, if you're so lucky as to make a career out of it, will have to be done to fill a mandate and pay the bills. That's a fact. But the reason you decide to write in the first place shouldn't be because someone else wants it. You should be writing because you love it. But more so even than that you should write because you have something important to say and you want to be sure that you get to say it. The written word is more powerful than the spoken one, after all, because it lasts longer. We can read documents from thousands of years ago even though the original people to dictate and write them down are long since dead and buried. So why do I write? I write because I look around the world and see things that, come hell or high water, someone needs to say. Life is too short, I have way too many ideas, and there are so many things in the world that never get looked at because everybody returns to the same old clichés over and over again. I write because I'm expressing myself (and somehow putting pen to paper seems better than getting forty tattoos and piercings that are going to sag and be regretted in 30 years anyway) and because I think it's important to speak about what you think and see in the world in an intelligent and interesting way.


          Like I said, life is short. Try to do what you love. Granted don't be stupid about it (this is about writing, not about YOLO or whatever) but if you have something to say, find a clever and intelligent way to say it. And it doesn't matter if that is in a script, in a book, in a poem, or even in a tweet...writing is about expressing your thoughts, dreams, opinions, and ideas.

        So no...writing just to become famous or writing to get rich is a pointless exercise. It's probably not going to happen. In fact, many famous writers that we look up to today died in poverty. That's the way it usually works; unless you're willing to gain fame by keeping up scandal after scandal and making yourself infamous, probably in your lifetime you're not going to be king (or queen) of the world. So is it worth to write in the first place? YES! Why should we even bother? First of all it is wonderful for personal enjoyment. World-building is great fun and helps you show your appreciation for something you're a fan of. Secondly it improves your mind by making you examine things from different angles and consider opposing viewpoints by observing people and the world at large. If more of us did this there would probably be less hate and vitriol spread around...just sayin'. Thirdly there is the community aspect. You'll meet some AMAZING people through writing. Fellow authors, students, bloggers, editors, teachers...we're all brought together by a common love and purpose. And lastly, and most importantly, you have something to say about this world. Everyone can have an impact and you never know just how important that observation or idea may be until you put it out there. So to sum it all up, what is the answer to the 'why write' question? You don't write because you want to become rich and famous...you write because you have a passion for it and because you have something to contribute to this world.