Normal?!

        

         Hi, everybody! So I know that the song 'Royals' has been done to death, really I do. Contrary to popular opinion, I'm not actually a hermit and I don't live under a rock. (It's actually a turtle shell...but who's keeping score?) So here is the poem I have subtitled Another Royals Parody (for that is what it is) and it is dedicated to all my fellow geeks, nerds, fanboys, fangirls, or whatever you wish to label yourself as. Enjoy!

You know Buffy’s my drug of choice

You know I spent my savings on all the posters

And if my eyes seem kinda moist

I’ve just got off Moffat’s rollercoaster

So don’t you tease about dating, romance, ‘obsessing’ over hedgehogs

Fake geek girls, why I don’t go for your heartthrobs

I don’t care! I’m fighting Klingons in my dreams

And you know I like X-Men, Firefly, Star Wars, Supernatural

Fred and George, Frodo, and of course Gabriel

Don’t you know? They’ve been my friends for many years!

And I’ll never be normal (normal)

It’s not compatible with my blood

That kind of life is not for me

I crave a different cup of tea

I’ll be your dungeon master (master)

Know every line of Merlin

And, mocker, I’ll rule, I’ll rule, I’ll rule, I'll rule

‘Cause normal’s so boring

My friends and I talk through chat rooms

We share spoilers and have virtual parties

And everyone who knows us knows

Stay out of our way after a SuperWhoLock finale!

The fandom life is made up of sobs and sniffles and smiles

The sniffles win out, but we’d walk 500 miles

Just to be at ComiCon in person, yeah

And we improve our minds writing fanfic, doing fanart and cosplay

Learning Elvish, crying over soufflés

And that’s okay, because we do it as a team

And we’ll never be normal (normal)

That’s illogical indeed

‘Cause Narnia's calling our name

And World of Warcraft’s a great game

Let’s all bond over music (music)

Weird Al or The Beatles?

And that’s how we roll, we roll, we roll, we roll

We also hunt Internet Trolls

Ooh ooh oh

I just don’t know what we would do

Without friends that stick just like glue

Ooh ooh oh

Close as brothers and sisters

Tributes, Potterheads, Whovians, Ringers

My friends are not real friends you say?

Is that because we met online through our writing?

And ‘cause at the end of the day

We have each other’s backs when feels threaten drowning?

Oh now you’ve gone way too far, that’s not cool, did your mother teach you manners?

*Reach for wand and phaser and my best screwdriver*

I know ways to hide your salted and burnt corpse, dude!

Insult me all you want but you’d better leave my friends alone

See? This is why geeks so often sit at home

Don’t you see? If this was about sports buddies, I’d be rude!

Because that would be normal (normal)

But it’s kinda pointless anyway

Because that word is so cliché

A setting on your dryer, they say

And just because we have Vulcans (Vulcans)

Doesn’t make us better than you

But at least we’re not rude, not rude, not rude, not rude

Which is more than we can say for you

©Emily Ecrivaine (2014)