Film Review: Muppet Classic Theater

**Spoilers**

If you have not yet watched this film, please go and do before proceeding

           Over the years the Muppets have done many adaptations and re-tellings of classic stories. Some, like A Christmas Carol and Treasure Island turned out very well and are much beloved by fans. Others, such as The Wizard of Oz and The Frog Prince...not so much. But I'll bet that a lot of you didn't realize that there is actually a collection of classic stories and fairytales, re-told by the Muppets in classic cornball musical format. Copies of this are reasonably hard to come by and I wouldn't even have known it existed had I not seen a VHS (of all things) in a thrift shop one day and decided to splurge the money on it. Honestly? This is one of the greatest things ever. Every single moment left me giggling aloud and the music is catchy as all get out. So let's not waste any more time gabbing on...let's dive right in to Muppet Classic Theater!

The Three Little Pigs

*Wolf impersonates Santa*

Piggy: "Boys, boys, boys. Think about it. Christmas is in December...and it's the middle of summer."

Brothers: *exchange a look* He's early, he's early! Oh he's early!

Piggy: "They COULDN'T be moi's brothers!"

       Ah yes...what more perfect story is there for Miss Piggy to star in? Well, aside from 'Diva la Diva' or something like that, I can't think of anything. Basically it's just the classic story of the 3 Little Pigs, granted with a couple Muppet-esque fireworks thrown in and a surprisingly astute commentary on the stupidity of misogyny that tells it how it is but never rams itself down your throat. And there are jokes galore! Bad breath jokes, porcine jokes, literature jokes, jokes on Miss Piggy's delicacy (or lack thereof)...just a lot of jokes. And none of them fall flat. Oh. And the wolf's voice cracks me up. It sounds like I imagine it would sound if Alan Rickman attempted to do a Britney Spears impersonation!

Song: "Show Her Some Respect" feat. Piggy & Brothers

3/5 Pigs in a Blanket

King Midas

"He's got such a lovely, golden tan. I hear he uses a sunlamp."

      Now here is something you don't see every day: Miss Piggy as a brunette! Seriously. Is this the only time we ever see her with brown hair? Anyway...the story of King Midas was always one that I enjoyed as a child. I had a big ol' book of fairytales and myths and I always enjoyed the part where he tried to eat a hot piece of meat and burnt his mouth on the hot gold because he was dumb enough not to specify that he needed control over the 'golden touch'. It just seemed like poetic justice to my young mind. The Muppets, however, take things one step further by having Kermit then turn himself into gold (cue the lamest 'jewelry' puns you ever did hear) as a lesson for Miss Piggy about greed. Sometimes I think they draw the jokes out a little bit long in this one, but for the most part it is still very enjoyable. Lots of Miss Piggy practicing her karate on everyone who smart-mouths her too.

Song: "The Midas Touch" feat. Kermit, Piggy, & Chorus
2/5 Golden Kermits

The Boy Who Cried Wolf

"I think the shepherd has learned his lesson. This would probably be a very good place to end the story. Especially before we get into any gratuitous violence! End the story! Fineto! And they all lived happily ever after!"

"But despite the protests of the sheep, the story was not over."

       If you were a child who grew up with literary parents, chances are that you heard this story more than once whenever they felt you were overreacting to things. I know I certainly have heard this story more times than I can count and to see the Muppets take it on in typical zany fashion is a sheer joy. I love the way, in this version, it's the sheep who set the shepherd off again and again (A little pun on the old 'If the other sheep jump off a cliff will you too?' saying, perhaps?) and, in the end, it is the sheep who get him out of it. Their voices just crack me up. It's also hilarious the way the wolf is so confident that he has the shepherd by the short and curly's that he even poses for pictures to help the poor guy convince the townspeople of his sincerity. And, of course, the ending is just priceless. Nothing like it!

Song: "Who D'you Think You're Foolin'?" feat. Kermit & Chorus

4/5 Ginormous Rams

Rumpelstiltskin

"My daughter can gargle to the tune of Beethoven's 5th!"

"How charming..."

         Maybe Gonzo was typecast, maybe he wasn't, but either way you can't deny that he totally rocks the 'tattered, moss-covered outfit' as the weird little man who can spin straw into gold. This story is comedy gold (pardon the pun) and includes gargled Beethoven, an obnoxious echo, and a spazzing weasel. What could go wrong?! Well...actually the weak point is the obligatory musical number which drags on way too long, isn't catchy, and is all around dull as tombs (clever rhymes with names not withstanding). I do, however, want the violin music to the score that plays while Piggy languishes in the dungeon. That song is AWESOME!

Song: "Gotta Get That Name" feat. Kermit, Piggy, & Chorus

1/5 Gargling Maidens

The Emperor's New Clothes

"Ladies and gentlemen, please calm down. If the emperor is naked, then that must mean that that is the NEW style. Therefore, everyone, doff your duds!"

          I think this was my favorite of Hans Christian Anderson's stories when I was younger. There's just something so very hilarious about the psychological prank that two swindlers (in this version played by the king of scams himself, Rizzo) pulls on the foolish emperor that it manages to press all of my funny bone buttons. Everything about this one is perfect from Rizzo's Curative Elixir to the constant comments about 'very sheer' fabric. And it also features a song that is simply chock-full of fashion puns and triple-meanings. Priceless.

Song: "Nothin's Too Good For You" feat. Rizzo & Co

5/5 Pairs of Polka-Dotted Underwear

The Elves And The Shoemaker

"Elvis with magical powers? COOL!

         I guess I'm just a sucker for Elvis nostalgia? I mean...I'm not super into him or anything like that, but this retelling in particular just puts a big smile on my face every time that song started playing. It's funny! And of course Robin is adorable. He's always just too cute for words. I love whenever he's going through the list of all the miracle makers they could contact about their money problems: Santa Clause, Mother Goose, Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy, the list just goes on and on. It's also hilarious how Rizzo can't contain himself and changes the story so that Kermit and Robin make white sequinned jumpsuits (made of real polyester, mind) for the elves...inspiring them to relocate to Las Vegas. Too funny!

Song: "Bad Shoe Blues" feat. The Elves

5/5 Elvis Impersonating Elves

          Really what this film can be described as is a collection of short sketches. It's funny, it's witty, and it's full of good old fashioned Muppet slapstick and ridiculousness. The songs are, for the most part, catchy and fun and the characters are both hilarious and memorable. It's always fun to see old stories told by the Muppets. Sometimes it's a hit and sometimes it's a miss, but here they hit it right out of the park. Muppet Classic Theater is a 4/5.



What did you think? Do you agree with my rating? If not - what would you say differently?