A.G.R.A.

           Mary Watson nee Morstan is a TERRIBLE person! She's complex, human, and makes mistakes. She was in an awful situation, caught between a rock and hard place, and had the audacity to make a choice that we viewers, sitting comfortably in front of our screens being entertained, would never have the guts to even think of! I just can't get over how reprehensible it is that she tried to leave an old life behind and start afresh by falling in love and getting married. My blood pressure is actually rising in ire as I think about the way she pushed Sherlock and John back together. Oh! How DARE she?!

            Are we actually supposed to like this complex and human character? Are we supposed to RELATE to her?! The very nerve of Moffat to ever suppose that actually developing a female character would be a good thing! But we know better...we'll show him!  Let's count down the Top Ten Reasons To HATE Mary Watson...

10: She is in love with John Watson...

          Ah yes, the woman to break up Johnlock and crush poor Sherlock's heart forever! We must shun her and send death threats to the actress at all costs. What? You say that's reprehensible? No, poor dear, you just don't understand. Sherlock is completely and totally in love with John and Mary has come between them before John could realise that he feels the same about Sherlock. She is a threat to their happiness and so must be despised and hated. If only John had seen the light before he ever agreed to marry such a horrible person...


9: She is a woman of action...

            It is unforgivable the way that Mary is a capable, collected woman of action who backs up her husband and his best friend in tight situations rather than sitting at home looking pretty and nagging John about the hours he is away with Sherlock. I mean How. Dare. She? It's bad enough that she helped John through his period of mourning and anger and convinced him to give Sherlock a second chance...but now she has to actively work alongside them rather than pulling John away? Dreadful!

8: She accepts John's need to run with Sherlock and endorses it...

             She would be so much easier to hate if she wasn't trying to fool us all by encouraging John to take Sherlock on cases. But we know that she's really up to something nefarious with those smiles and encouragements. She's probably setting Sherlock up with false hope that she can dash once John is hers or else manipulating his emotions like a condescending harpy. It doesn't matter that we don't have concrete proof yet; she doesn't deceive us!

7: She is most likely going to die...

          Really we don't have to worry about Mary. She's slated to die, courtesy of ACD, and doubtlessly that loss and grief will push Sherlock and John together. Now if only she would get a move on it so that John can give in to his real feelings concerning his best friend...

6: She understands Sherlock Holmes...

            Curse her for encroaching on John's territory and daring to attempt a connection with the man her husband is best friends with! She has no right to be so understanding and forgiving of a sociopathic genius who fears that he is going to lose John forever should he get married! It is just sickening the way she tries to be understanding of Sherlock's faults. I can't stand that teasing smile that she gets on her face whenever she is trying to draw him out of his grumpy shell.











5: She has a past that is both curious and may help us delve more into John's character...

           How dare she be anything other than a one-dimensional 'John's attempts to prove his straightness' cardboard cut-out without personality (aside from nagging possessiveness) or individuality? Isn't it awful the way she uses her hard-won knowledge to help protect John? Isn't it terrible the way she works with Sherlock and gives him information that could expose her all for the sake of getting to John on time? Isn't it terrible the way she is right behind Sherlock and shovelling away burning beams to pull both boys from the fire? Isn't it the worst yet that she has a past that puts her on the same level of experience and badassery as Sherlock and John? Oh no...this means that she can contribute to cases if they need her! Why isn't she just trying to keep John away from that no-good Sherlock Holmes the way she's supposed to?!


4: She is a complex person...

       Oh yes, Mary Morstan, we saw that word 'Liar' in your deduction cloud. Never mind about all of the other words like 'bakes', 'guardian', or 'disillusioned'...we know that you're only defined by one thing. You are a liar and a liar you shall forever be defined as. Forgive and forget? Pfft! That's only for characters who don't make true mistakes...


3: She shoots Sherlock...

          Never mind that Mary did indeed shoot Sherlock in the least lethal place that she could, given the circumstances...I can't believe she would commit such a heinous crime! Why would she do it? Why?! Why would she shoot Sherlock in the presence of the master blackmailer who needed to know that Sherlock was not in any way connected to Mary's case because if he was it would compromise his own work? Why would she shoot the detective in a manner that was cleverly non-lethal and yet not obviously make him into a pressure point that could be used against her? How dare she prove to the villain that she does indeed mean business and preserve the interests of the detective opposite her? What a wicked thing to do!


2: She pushes Sherlock and John back together...

         Yes how wicked of her to encourage further contact with the man who is both competition for John's time and who has the skills to potentially expose her secret simply because it will make John happier in the long run. I just can't get over how she refuses to judge Sherlock and decides that she likes him because she knows that her husband-to-be needs this friendship. How selfish! How utterly awful!

1: She jumps to help Sherlock when he collapses...BEFORE EVEN JOHN DOES!

      How dare she reach out to help the man who is her husband's best friend whenever he stumbles and starts to fall? How could she? Isn't it sickening the way she leaps to his rescue before John has even noticed that he's starting to fall? Isn't it disgusting how she does this without prompting and without making sure John is watching her noble deed first? She has been disgraced and is in danger of losing both her new future and the men that she has come to love...so what does she do? She lashes back by stopping the man who exposed her from crashing to the ground and potentially injuring himself further. Yes. This one is definitely unforgivable. After what she did she has NO right to show any form of remorse, fear, or sympathy. She should have just let him flop to the floor!