Film Review: The Hobbit "The Battle of the Five Armies"

**Spoilers**
If you have not yet seen this movie, please go and do so before proceeding.

            This was so incredibly anti-climatic that I don't even know where to start. There were times when I honest-to-God felt like I was watching a play-through of the video game. I'm all for a final installment of a trilogy being non-stop action and drama, but this was just ridiculous. If this were a TV show, I would be saying that it 'jumped the shark' at this episode. Really, these movies should not have been split into a trilogy. Two films would have been better as originally planned AND the title could have been There And Back Again with exactly the same impact. It did not need to be changed.

What I Liked:

- Martin Freeman. Just...just Martin Freeman. Whenever I heard they were making The Hobbit, he was my first pick as the actor to play young!Bilbo. Thankfully he was PJ's first pick also and he just does a tremendous job in the titular role of the hobbit.

- Love that they kept Bilbo's less-than-welcoming homecoming in there. That was always one of my favorite parts of the books and it's just hilarious to see him spluttering at those who are making off with his best armchair (and silver spoons) as he stumps up the path with his sword and dragon gold.

- Absolutely ADORE Ian Holm returning as older!Bilbo.

- Galadriel's fight with the Necromancer is one of the most beautiful, terrifying, and incredible things I have ever seen. It called to mind shades of Luthien Tinuviel facing off against Morgoth (which I'm sure was intentional) and really showcased just how much power the Lady of Lorien carries inside of her, both as an elven queen and as a ringbearer. Great stuff!

- The visuals of Smaug burning down Laketown were quite impressive. I still say that should have been the climax of the last movie, rather than the dwarves trying to dip the dragon in nacho cheese.

- Thorin and Bilbo and Balin. Man, I still can't believe the acorn scene exists. That was just too funny.

- The Elven King's reaction to Bilbo apologizing for stealing from the pantry just made my day.

- Thorin's actual death scene was done pretty well. It was changed from the book, but the impact wasn't any less. He still had his speech to Bilbo about how it's important to value love and friendship and hospitality over gold and power.

- The entire confrontation with Bard and Thranduil was just about perfect. I really, really like how they did it with Thorin and Bard speaking through the wall. The moment when Bilbo reveals that he stole the Arkenstone (which I'm still waiting to hear why it glowed like that...) was just as painful as it was in the book. Though I do miss Thorin threatening to sting Bilbo's feet with arrows if he doesn't leave quickly.

- Billy Boyd's song made me cry a bit, I confess.

What I Thought Was Weird:

- Thorin became Scrooge McDuck in this film to the point that he even had a 'swimming in gold' moment. Not quite sure what they were trying to do with that.

- Why were Thorin, Fili, and Kili riding mountain goats? And did we really need to hear the clip-clop of hooves? That was just ridiculous.

- There was too much CGI. It utterly lacked the grit of LotR which wouldn't be an entirely bad thing, except it tried to still have that. It still tried to be that big, epic story that LotR is. And it's not. It's The Hobbit. Even WITH the Necromancer stuff, it's still not as big and epic as LotR.

- WHY was that waterfall frozen solid? It wasn't even winter yet! What is this, a lego set???

- I don't think that King Thranduil riding on that moose will ever NOT be hilarious.

- Why exactly did Thorin take off his armor before going out to fight? That seems kind of counter-intuitive, does it not?

- And why did they copy the worms from Dune?! What even was the purpose of that? I honestly don't understand. Why?

- I guffawed when Smaug died Emperor Kuzco style with his tongue hanging out. Seriously. That was some of the funniest stuff I've ever seen. Problem is, I'm not entirely certain if that was intentional or not.

- Legolas is totally a show off. Why is everybody else even fighting? Just send the blond guy in! Heck, he could have had The One Ring destroyed and Sauron taken down before tea time if they'd just given him a chance. He probably wouldn't even have broken out into a sweat. WHY IS EVERYBODY ELSE EVEN FIGHTING AGAIN?!

- I really hope that Thorin's funeral scene is in the extended cut. It had a lot of important resolution for the different character arcs that we missed out on.

- Alfred (aka Unibrow aka Not-Grima aka Little John Wore The Dress Better) was the saving grace of the Bard scenes. The guy deserves a miniseries all of his own (preferably without Bard's brats) and I really, really enjoyed him in this movie. That being said, we really could have used less of his scenes. They didn't belong here. You thought Gimli farting and burping in LotR was bad? Imagine that times 10,000 and you'll get an idea of what we endured.

What Made My Eye Twitch:

- KILI DIED PROTECTING/AVENGING TAURIEL! AAAAAAAAUGH! NO! NO! NO! I accept that this is a movie. It is an adaption. Changes are going to be made. BUT THEY HAVE TO BE CHANGES THAT MAKE SENSE! This made no sense. The romance felt forced already (it was semi-okay last movie, but REALLY felt shoe-horned in here) and this only made it worse. Fili and Kili were supposed to die defending their king and their uncle with body and shield. They were supposed to die with honor, darn it!

- Thorin's fight with Azog was just painful. Azog himself should never have been in these movies. According to the lore, Azog had been long dead and his son, Bolg, was the one out for blood. It would have been fine to leave it as, rather than reducing Thorin's pompous, selfish nobility to a half-crazed, revenge-bent idiot. The fight atop the waterfall was made me cringe while watching it. I could practically predict each movement that the dueling foes made (cliches, cliches, by-the-book cliches that weren't in the book at all) and it felt like it had been ripped from The Lion, The Witch, And The Wardrobe, which is another movie that has a fight with a frozen waterfall and cracking ice. Ugh.

- Tauriel is pointless. Just thought I'd re-iterate that.

- Bard's brats...WHY? JUST WHY? Why were they even there? They were cute in the last movie, but we didn't need them here. We didn't need them bleating out "Daaaa!" every three minutes and constantly putting themselves into danger. No. Just no.

- It was literally pointless for the dwarves to split up and for some of them to stay behind in Laketown. At first I thought that maybe it was to raise the stakes of Smaug burning down Laketown, but nope! Literally pointless.

- Tauriel had no reason for being there and she didn't even have the decency to die in the final battle. I'm still not over that. She might have been okay if she had just been a bit of girl power (because, y'know, apparently Galadriel wasn't enough). Why? Why was she even there? She added nothing to it. All she did was mess some things up.

        And yet, despite all these complaints, I did still honestly enjoy it. I do take issue with some of the...choices. Oh boy do I ever take issue! But it's still a fairly decent movie that I think will be enjoyable to watch as part of the (now 24-hours-long) Middle Earth Marathon. Unfortunately, though, the problems are many and involve things that even I, a devoted fan, cannot excuse or ignore. *sigh* This movie is a 2/5.




What did you think? Do you agree with my rating? If not - what would you say differently?

Film Review: Muppet Treasure Island

**Spoilers**
If you have not yet seen this film, please go and do so before proceeding.


      Just like my favorite A Christmas Carol adaptation is the version done by Kermit & Co., so my favorite Treasure Island film adaptation is this Brian Hensen film starring Tim Curry. Who DOESN'T need a little Curry in their diet?

     Right from the start, this movie gets you into the swashbuckling moves with one of the most awesome and epic theme songs ever to exist in a movie...let ALONE one involving The Muppets: "And those buccaneers drowned their sins in rum. The Devil himself would have to call them scum!"

     After being kicked off by this utterly awesome piece of exposition/atmosphere in song, the story is off and running. And, for the most part, it is very much the Robert Louis Stevenson tale that we all know and love. Jim Hawkins is a poor boy who works in a tavern where an ex-pirate named Billy Bones (played to hilarious perfection by Billy Connolly) lives and imbibes a ridiculous amount of rum until the day his old shipmates catch up with him and give him The Black Spot. Bones entrusts his treasure map

    Of course there are some Muppification tropes that change the original story up a bit. For instance, Mr. Arrow does not die and Benjamin Gunn is turned into Benjamina Gunn...temptress, island goddess, and Miss Piggy. There's even a Scooby Doo style chase scene involving Gonzo, Rizzo, a bunch of angry pirates, and a gunpowder trail. Some of the slapstick moments fall a bit flat, I suppose (and I could have done without the rats) but for every bad joke there is an equally great, witty pun or reference that pokes fun at the original story...or at pirate lore in general. Tim Curry is in his element, playing the clever and enigmatic Long John Silver, bringing the level of paternal affection and unbalanced motivations that is so vital to any portrayal of the part.

       And, unlike with Muppet's Christmas Carol, all of the songs in this movie are actually quite a lot of fun and incredibly catchy. From 'Shiver My Timbers' to 'Love Led Us Here', you are guaranteed to be humming (and belting out) these tunes for weeks after you watch the movie. Which, considering it is a musical, is a good sign. The lyrics are clever and funny and the melodies WILL be stuck in your head for a long time.


         The movie builds to a very fun and energetic climax as well. We even get to see Kermit fencing! Of course there is the typical Muppet moments of fourth-wall breaking and utter ridiculousness, but it's still a lot of fun. Muppet Treasure Island is a great introduction to a classic piece of literature and is just a great experience for fans, new and old alike. Every time I watch it, I catch a new reference and it manages to mesh together the serious dramatic moments with the zany humor that makes The Muppets so wonderful. I give it a 5/5.

     "Beware the one-legged man! Aye! But also beware of running with scissors, or any other pointy objects, it's all fun and games until someone loses an eyAUGH!" ~ Billy Bones



What did you think? Do you agree with my rating? If not - what would you say differently?

Supernatural Review: Season 10 Episode 10 "The Hunter Games"

By: Eugenie Ross-Leming & Brad Buckner

**Spoilers**

If you have not yet seen this episode, please go and do so before proceeding.

         Sooo...does Dean not need the Blade to trigger the Mark these days? Because I swear last season it was only set off whenever he actually touched the Blade. Is it different now because he was a demon? Are they ever going to explain? (Hint: probably not...)

               But that doesn't mean I didn't thoroughly enjoy this episode. Sam and Dean were wonderful, as always, and Crowley and Rowena are just the best. I hope Rowena stays around for a long, LONG time. Even Castiel, for all that his scenes were sort of dragged down by the re-appearance of Claire, was pretty much a lot of fun. I really did enjoy this episode and I happily boo'd at the return of Metatron. He's one of those characters that you really love to hate.

Favorite Moments & Random Thoughts:

- Loved the montage of Deanmon in 'The Road So Far'.

- This episode felt very much like a continuation of The Things We Left Behind. I'm not sure how to feel about that...

- Rowena gives a new meaning to the term 'helicopter mother'. I was SO confused whenever the episode started out with Crowley biting the dust. Fortunately, 'twas all a dream. A dream brought on by one of Rowena's hex bags. I like this dynamic. Certainly it's more interesting than Dean's over-hyped angst or Castiel's attempts at being a family man.

- "She's like a wounded animal, just watching me." Gee, Castiel, I wonder why. It couldn't be because you're still walking around wearing the face of the father that you stole away from her, could it? Or that you traumatized her at a young age? Or that you told her to her face that you heard and ignored her prayers? Nah...of course not.

- I also take issue with the fact that Cas says Claire has known so little love in her life. ROT! When Castiel came to Jimmy Novak, Claire was clearly around the age eleven. So that means for the first eleven years of her life she lived in a strong Christian family with parents devoted to each other and who obviously loved her. Look at those flashbacks in The Rapture! They were happy! And she felt that Randy loved her, so there's that too. Stop being over-dramatic just for the sake of trying to make me like a character that only becomes worse the longer I think about her.

- I still don't see how Dean killing those scumbags was any different from the meatsuits that he and Sam hack through on nearly a weekly basis. Are we doing a Merlin 'let's talk up the situation because if we say it's dire enough, somebody might actually believe us' type thing? 

- While I will forever be miffed that they have decided to actually SHOW us Hell, I have to admit that Rowena is fast becoming my favorite character ever. She's certainly the most interesting baddie since Meg. 

- And her squabbling with Crowley is a thing of beauty.

- I'm going to punch somebody for freeing Metatron. WHY didn't Castiel just go to Heaven to interrogate him? They should KNOW by now that irritating little snake of a librarian will find some way to muck things up.

- The scene where Sam interrogates Metatron was just wonderful. You could FEEL the hatred and the tension radiating off of Sam (kudos to Jared) and it's a wonder he didn't just stab Metatron through the face. I rather think that the old Sam may have. But Sam's older and wiser now. Let's just hope that somebody is wise enough to extract the info from Metatron and THEN stab him. Before he can cause any more trouble!

- At least they acknowledged that Castiel is still wearing Jimmy and how hard it must be for Claire to see his face. Shame they decided to have her go vengeful on Dean instead of Castiel like it would MAKE SENSE for her to do. I really don't like the way they've developed her character.

- Sam and Dean interrogating Metatron may just have been the best scene of the entire episode.

- "I would be tickled to help you pop this Biblical zit." I still can't believe this is actual dialogue.

- Ten seasons ago, Dean felt that demons weren't their gig. Now he has the King of Hell on speed-dial. Excuse me while I go laugh over that.

- Okay. So the scene where Rowena scrys on Crowley and the Winchesters is pretty cool. If having Rowena hang around means that we get to see some more magic, I am totally on board. 

- This episode would have been PERFECT if Claire did not exist. Her story only serves to divert attention away from the main focus (Dean and the MoC) and is neither interesting nor funny, like the saga of Crowley and his dear old Mum. I liked her in the last episode okay. She is, unfortunately, one of the characters who only gets worse the longer I think about her. Maybe she'll redeem herself one day...we can only hope.

- Metatron needs to die.

- The scene where Dean starts carving Metatron up...can we give Jensen Ackles an award of some kind? Because when I looked at him, I was reminded of some of the shots where Sam was high on demon blood. You look at his eyes and it's not Dean, but it sure as heck isn't Jensen either. 

- Gotta love how Sam figured out that Dean was snapping due to the unfinished sandwich in the kitchen.

- Metatron calling Dean out on his concept of the 'greater good' was something that needed to be done. I'm still kind of upset with him over the whole Gadreel Fiasco.

- I'm starting to think that Crowley calling the Blade Dean's 'precious' was all too apt of a comparison. Seems like a lot of the dialogue and descriptions of the effects of the Mark/Blade sound very much like the way the One Ring effects its bearers.

- The whole Metatron and Dean torture scene was very intense and really showcased both of the actors through Dean's calculated, desperate rage and Metatron's slippery tongue. It calls to mind the quieter but no less potent scenes between Sam and Crowley in Sacrifice. See, writers? Whenever you give these actors a chance to just go at it, they create some of the best drama in the world WITHOUT needed to have melodrama in the dialogue!

- I still don't know why the Mark was triggered by a weapon that wasn't the First Blade. Are we ever going to get an explanation for that?

- What...but...what...WHY IN THE NAME OF CHUCK DID THEY TAKE METATRON BACK TO HEAVEN?! Was this entire venture POINTLESS?!

- I do like that we actually got a broment at the end of this episode. (Now hug!)

        Basically, this episode just felt like more glorified filler. Entertaining filler, for the most part (minus the bits with Claire) but still filler. Reminds me of Reichenbach, actually. I guess we'll have to wait until next week to see if it's actually building up to something good or not. Rowena is officially the best thing since sliced bread. I love the way she's manipulating Crowley and I'm anxious to see where this goes. Sam and Dean were awesome, as usual. Though I do feel like Sam was a bit under-used in this episode. Hopefully that will get better. All-in-all, The Hunter Games is a 3/5.

What did you think? Do you agree with my rating? If not - what would you say differently?

Film Review: The Outsiders

**Spoilers**
If you have not yet seen this film, please go and do so before proceeding.

          There are two versions of this movie - the theatrical release and the special "Complete Novel" edition. I advise that you check out both of them because while the theatrical release doesn't have all the scenes, it does have the original score. The "Complete Novel' edition has had certain parts of the score replaced with Elvis Presley songs. Which, y'know, isn't a terrible thing. But there are scenes that lose something without the original score.

      The Outsiders is a prime example of how a book-to-film adaptation CAN be done almost word-for-word and scene-by-scene without being either boring, tedious, or terrible. I am a huge fan of the book (and one of my friends played Ponyboy in the play) so whenever I heard there was a movie made (a Francis Ford Coppola film, no less) I jumped at the first chance to see it. And I was not disappointed.


    The film stars C. Thomas Howell, Mat Dillon, Patrick Swayze, Ralph Macchio, Rob Lowe, Tom Cruise, and Emilio Estevez as The Outsiders, a makeshift family/gang of boys and young men from the north side (east side in the book) of Tulsa, Oklahoma. It is a coming-of-age story told by a star-studded cast, set in a time when there is basically an ongoing war between the Socs (the rich, privileged kids) and the Greasers (the poor, wrong-side-of-the-tracks kids) and one of the greasers accidentally kills a Soc. From there on all Hell breaks loose, climaxing in the rumble between the two factions.

      It's a very raw and depressing story, full of hopelessness and anger and gritty questions about prejudice and growing up. And the movie captures it very well, being - as I said - an almost word-for-word adaptation of the source material.





     Sometimes things can be a little bit off (Johnny and Pony spend an almost ridiculous amount of time crying and hugging, for instance) but that doesn't really detract from the experience. The cinematography is gorgeous too...particularly in the scenes containing the sunset themes...and the colors and lighting really go a long way to sweep you up in the emotion of the story. All of the actors bring the unique personalities of the characters from the book to life and their performances carry through even in potentially-clunky scenes. This is also, to date, one of the few movies that can actually make me cry. I highly recommend this film (both version) to anyone. The Outsiders is a 5/5.

 

What did you think? Do you agree with my rating? If not - what would you say differently?

Merlin Review: Series 2 Episode 13 "The Last Dragonlord"

By: Julian Jones

**Spoilers**
If you have not yet seen this episode, please go and do so before proceeding.

"Merlin, I am your father." "NOOOOOOO!"

        Yeah. My work here is done. That just summarized the episode for you. Good night! Au revoir! See ya!

       No, no. I wouldn't do that to you. But that is what this episode feels like sometimes. We've known for a while that Merlin lives with his mother and that his father wasn't in the picture, but I (and lots of others like me) just assumed that Daddy Emrys had long since gone to the happy Hogwarts in the sky. Apparently, we were wrong. Turns out, Merlin's dad was a Dragonlord (a specialist sorcerer who can speak and control dragons...this is starting to feel like Eragon) who fled from Camelot during the great Purge. This is where it starts to get interesting and where I really got excited about the episode. See, Merlin's father and Uther were once on good terms. Balinor was even hired by Uther to call Kilgarrah to Camelot because Uther said he wanted to talk to the dragon and to understand. Merlin's father had been opposing the purge, so he agreed. But Uther betrayed him and THAT was how the great dragon was captured. Balinor fled the country (presumably with the help of Gaius) and met Merlin's mother. They fell in love, but Uther's men pursued Balinor (funny how THEN Uther had no problem with sending troops into Ealdor...) and Balinor had to leave without ever knowing he had a son.

      Not a particularly original story, but it was one that I was very eager to see them tell. And this is just about one of the best season finales that this show has ever done. It's campy in places, yes, (and I STILL can't believe Arthur believed Merlin's story about the dragon being dead whenever there was no body) but the actors really shine and things are kept simple enough that it manages to be heartfelt and touching, despite the issues.

Favorite Moments & Random Thoughts:

- This episode picks up right where The Fires of Idirsholas left off with the dragon terrorizing Camelot.

- While this is supposed to be dramatic and scary and all that, there are plenty of goofy moments in this part of the episode. Here's a little gem from the official wiki episode transcript: ARTHUR: "Guinevere!" [Gwen turns and sees her peril. She runs, Arthur runs to help her. Dragon swoops and catches Arthur, causing both of them to fall. Arthur grabs Gwen's hand and they run for cover. Merlin jogs out into the square.] MERLIN: *spell* 

Arthur's face is a treasure...

- Also, I love the way the dragon and Merlin are screaming at each other about his magic, yet none of the knights (or the proverbially useless guards) seem to notice.

- I'm slightly confused as to why, when the dragon was so determined that Merlin must rescue Camelot, that he's now trying to burn it to the ground. Attacking Uther's bedchamber I would get (seeing as how Uther was the one to trick and imprison him) but he's been going on and on about the prophecies about Arthur, so I don't get why he's attacking like this.

- I do love how Arthur's "I'll go alone." always seems to include Merlin too...

- Anyway, so, after the two boys stop for the night in an inn, they finally reach Cenred's country and start their search for the dragonlord. The only problem is that Arthur's shoulder wound is acting up and has become infected.

- I love how Gaius gave his mothers' rabbit foot to Merlin. He may always be scolding, but he does care. (I kind of wish the rabbit's foot and its significance had come back at some point too, y'know, maybe as a plot point?)

-  "All right, I know I'm a prince, so we can't be friends. But if I wasn't a prince...well, then...I think we'd probably get on." Stop waffling around and just admit it already, Arthur!

- The scene where Merlin meets his father is just heartbreaking. I really appreciate that there isn't really any dialogue. For once they play it subtle and Colin Morgan just KILLS it.

- In fact, any scene with Merlin and Balinor is just heartbreaking.

- "I had a life there. A woman. A good woman. Ealdor is beyond Uther's realm, but still he pursued me. Why would he not let me be? What was it that I had done that he wanted to destroy the life I built, abandon the woman I loved? He sent knights to kill me. I was forced to come here, to this! So, I understand how Kilgharrah feels. He's lost every one of his kind, every one of his kin. You want to know how that feels? Look around, boy. Let Uther die. Let Camelot fall." Balinor may be a bit of a rough jerk right now, but I really feel for him.

- Awww...Merlin's father made him a carved dragon!

- I confess I actually screamed a little bit whenever Cenred's men stabbed Balinor. It's just such a raw and emotionally-charged scene as he dies in Merlin's arms. What hurts even more is that Arthur doesn't know who Balinor is to Merlin and, in a misguided attempt to comfort the younger man, tells him that nobody is worth his tears. I think I need to borrow Clara Pond's shock blanket...

- Did the show burn up all of their SFX budget with the first two series finales? I love the scene with Kilgharrah and Merlin facing off...especially the moment whenever Kilgharrah bows to Merlin.

- Arthur really is oblivious. His spear was nowhere NEAR the dragon's heart and he should have known it, big shot warrior-hunter that he is! HOW did Merlin get that lie through?!

- The grin they share (and Arthur's little laugh) is pretty infectious, though.

- Sir Leon dies in this season finale. He totally dies. There's NO WAY he survived...unless he was laying there listening to Merlin scold the dragon and then just conveniently forgot it all afterwards.

- I can just see it now: "Guuuuys! I'm still ALIVE! Yoohoo! Merlin? Arthur? No. Nooo. Don't just walk off and leave me here. I'm not dead! I'm not dead!" 

- Love, love, LOVE the way that this season finale ends with Arthur and Merlin walking back into Camelot together, shoulder-to-shoulder. It's a really great image (especially since, as a servant, Merlin is supposed to walk behind Arthur) and seems to look forward to the day when they will rule Camelot side-by-side.

        The Last Dragonlord is a great episode and an action-packed, emotionally-charged series finale that more than builds on the promise of Le Morte d'Arthur. It gives us some more clues about Merlin's heritage and past, introduces some awesome new powers, and is infused with just enough humor to make it highly enjoyable. I give this episode a 5/5.


What did you think? Do you agree with my rating? If not - what would you say differently?

Film Review: Addams Family Values

**Spoilers**
If you have not yet seen this film, please go and do so before proceeding.
       

       Okay. So after the modest success of the first Addams Family film, a sequel was put into motion. A sequel that Barry Seinfeld was confident would keep all the good of the first film while also fixing a lot of the problems (i.e. the lack of plot). Did it succeed?

      Kind of. There definitely is more of a plot (one stolen from The Beverly Hillbillies movie, no less) but I'm rather bewildered as to WHY they decided to focus in on Fester again?! In this story it's not a faux mother figure trying to manipulate Uncle Fester. This time it's a wife. Meet Debbie, the Black Widow (no, not that one) serial killer who goes after rich widowers or bachelors and seduces them, gets them to sign their money over to her, and then kills them on their wedding night. She comes to the Addams disguised as a nanny for the new baby and, while she is there, snags hapless Uncle Fester in her web. Debbie is a very fun villain. She reminds me in some ways of a less-fur-obsessed Cruella de Ville and Joan Cusack just has a great time hamming the part up. There's even a scene where she has the obligatory villain's monologue and she has a slide show all prepared to illustrate.

There are some problems, obviously. For instance - I will NEVER understand why the climax of the movie consists of Debbie strapping all of the Addams' into electric chairs and then making as if she is going to kill them when, in the last movie, we saw Pugsley and Wednesday electrocuting each other with a similar chair as a game. Also, um, it doesn't really make sense for Debbie to be trying to kill Uncle Fester (and failing every time) and yet we're still supposed to see her as a legitimate threat? Um, hmmmm.

      But really, this movie belongs to Wednesday. Her subplot is by far the best part of the film and is further evidence why Christina Ricci was just made to play this part. Wednesday and Pugsley are shipped off to a summer camp in an effort to distract them from attempting to commit fratricide on their poor, unsuspecting new baby brother, and there they meet an assortment of painful white suburbia social commentary stereotypes, as well as a fellow outcast named Joel. Throughout the summer they wreak havoc at this camp, culminating in the end-of-the-year obligatory play portraying the First Thanksgiving. There is just something very uncomfortable about that play and the satisfaction whenever Wednesday breaks character and starts laying down some cold, hard facts (before torching the set) is definite. The small romance she shares with Joel is oddly sweet and very well done too.      

       Morticia and Gomez are wonderful as always in this film. I feel like Morticia rather liked Debbie, even after she 'betrayed' them. (See what I mean about villains and the Addams' not meshing very well?) It is interesting, though, about these two films; each of the villains only really work whenever they are trying to do one thing. And that one thing is break the Addams family apart.

      All in all, this film is a fun and kooky little horror comedy. In some ways, it is almost better than the first movie. Certainly the villain is stronger and a lot more fun. Sometimes the social commentary can be a bit heavy-handed, but in the end that doesn't really detract from anything. There is an odd subplot about Pubert (the baby) suddenly going golden-curled and normal-ish whenever Uncle Fester is gone? Uh, yeah. That didn't make a whole lot of sense. But for the most part it's just a great, funny movie to watch. Addams Family Values is a 4/5.

What did you think? Do you agree with my rating? If not - what would you say differently?

Castle Review: Season 1, Episode 9 "Little Girl Lost"

 By Elizabeth Beall

**SPOILER ALERT! If you have not seen this episode, please go and do so before continuing!**

Oh Castle.... What's a relationship without a little competition to add drama? So far on the show we've been treated to at least two ex-wives for Rick, but Beckett... Well, she's still single, and she is still not quite falling for a certain someone's "ruggedly handsome" charms.
This case hits a little close to home for Beckett: a young child abducted from the home. She's dealt with it before, and it didn't end well. That and--oh look! The FBI is involved... and the agent on the case is an ex-boyfriend of Beckett's.

The "Good Parts" Version:

-Castle is trying to earn "boyfriend points" by greeting Beckett on the scene with her favorite donut and order of coffee. Trouble is, he also brings up his fan site... Which Beckett is apparently familiar with--for "research purposes", of course--and Castle's ribbing about it ("You subscribed to my website? Wait a minute... are you Castlefreak1212? Castlelover45?") earns him a bear-claw in the mouth. Lesson learned: No woman wants sass before she has her coffee.

-The case involves the abduction of a two-year-old girl from the home of her hard-working parents. Mom works at the hospital, Dad paints for a living. He was in the next room when it happened; one moment, the girl was there, the next moment, gone.



-Enter the suave, dashing, smooth-talking, driven Agent Will Sorenson. He's got the history with Beckett that Castle wants, he knows things about her that Castle can't possibly get her to confess, and in short, he's got the position that Castle thinks he wants--and yet, Beckett seems reluctant to be working with him again.... And on the plus side, we get more of the Wisecracking Castle!

-"Really? You're going with the instincts of Nancy Drew, here?"
"Is that supposed to be an insult? Because Nancy Drew solved all her cases."

-Beckett: "Oh, why don't you two just drop your pants and get it over with!"
Castle: "I'm game!"


-Beckett ends up sending Castle home because Will doesn't want him around... and poor Rick discovers that Martha's "money-making scheme-of-the-week" happens to be working out of his office as a "Life Coach." "Mother, can I interest you in the kitchen as a better location? The wide open space... proximity to beverages... and sharp implements..."

-Can I just also take a moment to point out that THIS EPISODE MARKS THE FIRST MENTION OF JENNY O'MALLEY, RYAN'S THEN-GIRLFRIEND, PLAYED BY SEAMUS' (THE ACTOR'S) REAL-LIFE WIFE JULIANNE!!! He was my favorite character to begin with... and the fact that he's the first one to have a steady girlfriend.... portrayed by his wife... I was over-the-moon. Granted, it's just a mention, but... The tie says it all...


-The ransom demand has been made... and it's oddly specific: exactly every penny the couple has, and not a cent more. Could the kidnapper be closer to the victims than just a stone-cold professional on a spree?

-When it comes time to make the drop, Beckett finally stands up for Castle in the face of "the Feds", deciding to allow him to volunteer to make the drop.

-This episode really plays up the "Will They/Won't They" angle... because all networks know that, "If all else fails, use romantic tension to make viewers want another season." But while Castle is getting ready for a potentially dangerous money drop with an as-yet-unidentified killer, Beckett comes in... and she's more worried about this Nikki Heat novel that he is working on, and the cover image ("It's just a silhouette. She's holding a gun." "She's *naked*!" "She's posing strategically.") than about his actual safety... at least as far as she'll let on. ("Castle? Screw this up and I'll kill you.") Oh yeah, they definitely will.

-Of course, it all goes south, because the kidnapper seems to know exactly what they're going to do just before they do it, and can prepare accordingly--But Castle proves more clever than Will gives him credit for, because though they lost the bag with the money, he managed to slip the burner phone into it--right after texting Beckett from the phone. So now they can track it till the signal dies.

-The nature of the case has made Castle nostalgic. He goes home and starts imagining what it would be like if someone abducted Alexis... Which of course gives him the break he needs to realize that the kidnapped child had a favorite bunny that she carried all the time. A stone-cold kidnapper would have just taken the kid and left the bunny... so where is the bunny?

-It was just the break they needed, and by looking for the bunny, they find the girl, not far away--at the house of her Aunt. The overworked Mom had arranged the whole abduction, intending to use the money to take custody of their daughter away from her neglectful husband. The big reveal and wrap-up gives a sour note to the end of the episode--almost as if the writers were still trying to figure out the best way to end an episode.

-Of course, Will keeps dropping hints that he wants to get back together with Beckett--he'd even like it if she decided to come back to Boston with him--but she is not sure anymore if that's what she wants. The Beckett he knew was very career-driven, but meeting Castle seems to have brought a sense of "family" to her that she probably never expected. She turns him down.

Again, I am not really digging the whole "crime without a criminal" method. It was fun to find out a little more about Beckett's past, both in the ex-boyfriend and the return of the murdered mother case. 

However, I believe it must have been sometime about this episode, or the last few, that the network confirmed a second season, because already we're getting deeper into the lives of the characters with their own arcs and back-stories—things aren't quite so "temporary" anymore. It took nearly ten episodes for this show to get itself organized with the crime solving technique and the character involvement, but in the words of Casablanca, "I think this is the start of a beautiful friendship." 

"Little Girl Lost" gets a 4/5.

Film Review: The Addams Family

**Spoilers**

If you have not yet seen this film, please go and do so before proceeding.

          So...adapting old sitcoms into feature family films was a 'thing' in the 90's. The Beverly Hillbillies is the one that usually jumps into my mind when thinking about this, as it is the prime example of the reason WHY these sorts of films usually didn't work very well. And, in order to properly review The Addams Family, we need to talk about this.

       Most older sitcoms tend to really hinge most of their premise around just one joke. And, for television, that's fine. Sitcoms can get away with being formulaic, provided they are clever with it and the characters are really interesting. Some of my favorite shows (such as Hogan's Heroes or Green Acres) work this way. I know the formula and I can practically recite it by heart, but the ingenuity and the sheer force of personality that the characters have brings me back time and time again. And The Addams Family really is no different. Their gimmick is this: A casually rich family is obsessed with all things dark and deadly. That's literally it. Most of the jokes come from the fact that they are so strange and bizarre and yet they're living in suburbia. The sitcom was actually based off of a series of one-panel comics from the 1920's, and those also hinge off of the one joke.

     But as much as the sitcom does follow the formula of being centered around that one joke, it also surprisingly subverts most of the other tropes that you see in this kind of show. While normally families are portrayed as not understanding each other and being dysfunctional, one of the main things to define the Addams' is that they DO all stick together and enjoy each other's company. Morticia and Gomez are very much in love and, instead of the comedy coming from them arguing and being impatient with each other, they are very supportive and generally get into hijinks together as a team. They also share most of the job of parenting their children, Wednesday and Pugsley, together...with Gomez being just as likely to comfort one of the children after a nightmare as Morticia is.

 

           But how does this family work when applied to a 90's Hollywood 3-Act structure? Well...actually not as badly as you would think. Now the plot of this film is almost not there at all. It's very weak. And it centers around Uncle Fester, of all people! (To me, Uncle Fester is always the character that was the equivalent of the gargoyle dog from Gargoyles...he's comic relief. So I'm bewildered as to why the movie is all about his story.) He's being manipulated by a mother figure who only gets creepier the more times I watch her interactions with him. Not the good kind of Addams creepy and kooky either!

          Fortunately, though, the big, melodramatic climax that all these types of films have is very underplayed and I almost feel like the film is self-aware and more of a satire than an actual horror-comedy. And it does honestly adapt the atmosphere and charm of the sitcom very well. Everybody is perfectly cast and the dark humor and matter-of-fact way that the Addams' go about their lives is very well done. They're weird and they kind of know it and they really don't care. 

      I haven't talked much about the plot of this film, because there almost isn't one and really the best parts of the story are when things are focusing on the interaction of the family rather than the money-grubbing-lawyer-and-fake-mother plot that is duller than Wednesday's wooden sword! But this is really worth the watch and, in my humble opinion, is probably the best of the remake-old-sitcoms films batch. It's funny, it's touching, it's gross (in some places), it's dark, it's all about family...I love this film! The Addams Family is a 4/5.

What did you think? Do you agree with my rating? If not - what would you say differently?

Castle Review Season 1 Episode 8 "Ghosts"

By Moira Kirkland

***Spoilers! If you haven't watched this episode, please go and do so before continuing!***

Kudos to the creative team behind Castle for coming up with so many unique ways for a person to die in just the first season--which had such a quick run, it couldn't even be termed a full season! Here we are, already at the eighth episode, and today's crime scene features a woman drowned in a tub full of motor oil. Seriously, nothing is quite so creepy as a face that appears in what you thought was a black screen.... Stolen identities, ghostwriters, bombs on an oil tanker, environmental activists... and a past that hasn't quite let go like people always assumed.

The "Good Parts" Version:

-Castle's got a new poker crowd! This time, it's the gang from the 12th Precinct who are fast becoming best buds with the "ruggedly handsome" mystery writer--and also getting a dose of Martha! "When he blinks too much, he's bluffing.... Oh, now he's tapping, that means he's got a good hand..." Nobody calls tells like a mother, which is why Susan Sullivan is quite possibly the best actress to ever play the mother figure for somebody like Nathan Fillion; the pair are wonderful, and the wits are perfectly matched, one can't help but sense the fictional genetics in the chemistry.

-Speaking of chemistry, what better way for a guy to show he likes a girl than to fold on a perfectly good hand just so she can win the pot? Things are looking good for the Caskett ship!

-I'll admit, Castle had me hooked with his "soccer mom lover's liaison" angle as to why a woman like the unfortunate victim would be in a sleazy hotel like that one in the first place! It was fun, though, to see that, gradually, Castle is winning the guys--they're not writing him off (no pun intended) as just a crackpot tag-along anymore. Trading theories with Espo--how fun!

-So the identity was stolen--but the layers lead back to a true crime writer that I recognized: Joanne Kelly from Warehouse 13! Joanne doesn't quite pass off the writer-vibe as well as Nathan Fillion does, but that's okay, because she's just a ghostwriter who has been recording the story from the victim's past that she had been running from her entire life, which may have been the thing that caught up with her.

-The woman, Cynthia, had teamed up with two others to plant a bomb on an oil tanker, which blew too soon and injured the captain who was still on board, and killed one of the others. The fact that the killer drowned Cynthia in motor oil was more than just poetic justice--it was personal. So the question becomes: who else knew about the bomb plot and would have the motive and means to kill Cynthia?

-After a brief interview with the one surviving member (and the guy who built the bomb and blames himself for the faulty fuse that caused the early explosion), Castle notices that his account diverges from the story Cynthia wanted to publish. Being a writer, he knows something about how and when to reveal key information, depending on the kind of message the writer wants to send--so why would Cynthia be giving her ghostwriter false information? Or perhaps the ghostwriter is taking creative liberties? If so, why?

-The more leads they find because of the ghostwriter, the more people they encounter who know about the book that Cynthia was going to publish, which gives rise to a new motive--true crime novels are one thing when published under the watchful eye of the perpetrator--but now that Cynthia is dead, the ghostwriter could be sitting on a bestseller, with very few people who would care if she sensationalized the story. Of course, the airtight alibi exonerates the writer--but if she didn't, who did? A connection is coming--but what could it be?

-In talking with the family of the captain who had been on the oil tanker, Castle and Beckett discover that the son had been trying to hunt Cynthia down--but it turns out that was only to find out why she'd been sending regular checks to his mom, accompanied by a note that said "I'm sorry." The trouble is, the ghostwriter--who should have known about it, since it would have aided casting Cynthia in a more favorable light--knew nothing. So if Cynthia didn't send the money, who did?

-Can I just point out how much I miss these poker games scenes? I can't recall exactly when they were phased out, but one just doesn't see them much anymore on the show! It takes a poker game with the "Gotham crew" (the judge, the mayor, and the police chief) to figure out this new twist in the mystery. Plus, Beckett demands in because she is mad at Castle for "throwing" the last game... and yet, when given the chance, Beckett "throws" it right back! Who says romance has to involve kissing and bedroom scenes?

-A well-placed comment in the middle of a flurry of contemplation prompts Castle to come up with another wild theory: what if the conspirator everyone thought was dead, really wasn't? And what if she was the one who murdered Cynthia, after living all this time under a false identity, just like Cynthia had?

-And BOOM. Turns out the writers have one more twist for us: Cynthia had discovered this woman was alive... and Cynthia had invited Susan over to kill her in the motor oil and so the story could be told however Cynthia liked... but Susan figured it out and turned the tables on her.

-As a final wrap-up for the case, Castle figures out the ghostwriter's slimy ploy to publicize the fact that she was in contact with Cynthia, which would only invite more publicity for her book if Cynthia were actually arrested and placed on trial. (And yes, I do believe there is a sleazy "tabloid reporter" based on the ghostwriter as a character in Castle's books!) Lesson learned: don't mess with a writer. Even if you "succeed" in hoodwinking them, you'll more than likely end up as material, and the portrayal will not be flattering.

-Finally, Castle and Beckett confront each other about intentionally throwing the poker games... and decide on a rematch. The pot? Gummy bears.

On the whole, I think this episode was on the weirder side, as far as the mystery goes. There weren't any intensely action-packed chases, a lot of it was subtle, mess-with-your-mind-and-emotions kind of stuff. I liked seeing the relationship between Castle and Beckett develop further, as everyone in the Precinct begins to welcome him more as one of them instead of passing him off. I'd give this episode a 4/5.

House M.D. Review: Season 1 Episode 10 "Histories"

Episode By: Joel Thompson

*Spoilers!*

Histories (or The Case of the Homeless Cartoonist with a Tragic Backstory)

Quote: “Of course in Swedish, the word ‘friend’ can also be translated as ‘limping twerp.’” 
– Wilson

Overall Thoughts/Observances:

            WILSON GOT CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT! WILSON GOT CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT! WILSON AND HOUSE WORKING TOGETHER AS BEST BUDS! YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY!

            Okay, I’m good now.

            I was wondering when we’d get to see some real Holmes and Watsonish interactions between House and Wilson. When Wilson went with House to the trial in the last episode, that was certainly a good start. But this time House only took the case because 1) Wilson wanted him too and 2) he wanted to use it as an opportunity to snoop around in Wilson’s past and try and figure out why this patient was so important to his friend.

Gotta love Benny and Martin.

            While I know this show isn’t an 'official' spoof of Sherlock, one of the best aspects of the original stories and of any adaptation of the good ol’ Adventures of Sherlock Holmes is the relationship between Holmes and Watson. Theirs is the ultimate friendship, and honestly I’m not surprised they get shipped so much (though that’s a discussion for another day).

            And it was nice to see House and Wilson playing around, like when House was pretending to deduce things from the drawing he said was of Philadelphia, and Wilson kept urging him on with overly excited questions. Or when Wilson had his little House moment by thinking that he'd solved the case and you could tell that House was secretly pleased.

            I must confess I don’t quite get what the patient had to do with Wilson's brother (maybe his brother ran off and became homeless or something – or maybe I just missed that part), but as long as House knows, it’s okay.

            Anyways, while Foreman also got some character development in this episode (I’ll talk about him next in conjunction with the patient), it was nice to see Wilson actively involved in the case, working with House, and being stubborn that this patient got what she needed. He’s the complete opposite of House – House loves the case, Wilson loves the patient. Opposites attract, I suppose.

The Case and the Patient:

            Our patient this week was very interesting even outside her unusual diagnosis. First off, she’s homeless, so the Team can’t find any real background information on her, which is a serious hindrance to their work. Second, she’s an amazing cartoonist. And she tells her life through the characters in the comic, which I think is fascinating. Third, her guilt about losing her husband and her son in that car accident is a very painful feeling, and one that obviously changed her as a person.

            I also think that her relationship with Foreman showed different sides in both of them. Foreman (or Eric, as House calls him when he wants to annoy him (which is most of the time)) starts off hating this woman, wanting nothing but to get her back on the streets because he’s convinced she’s just faking. And, actually, the patient confesses that she was just trying to get a place to sleep at first. But then she starts drawing Dr. Foreman into her comic, and as the Team rushes to find her illness he begins to actually care about her as a person. So much so that after he and Wilson find out about her past, he pretends to be her dead husband so that she can feel forgiven.

            Also – rabies! I was not expecting that diagnosis at all. I mean, it’s actually kind of obvious when you look back on it, but like Chase said, there’s only been a few cases in modern years. Of course, while I have commended House for its realistic elements, they do tend to find the most unusual or uncommon illnesses for their patients to have. Otherwise it wouldn’t be half as interesting! And House only takes interesting cases.

Last Words:

            Overall, a satisfying House episode. The patient did die, yes, but at least Foreman gave her some comfort. It ends with Wilson brooding about his brother, yes, but at least he’s got House by his side. The beginning of this episode showed some of Foreman’s prejudice against the homeless, yes, but in the end he and Wilson go together to unravel this woman’s history. The episode title is perfect because we learned the history of the patient, some of the history of Wilson, and got a bit of a hint into the history of Foreman (also, the medical students that Cuddy dumped on House were tasked with taking patient 'histories'). Oh, how I love a multi-meaning word.

Rating: 8.7/10

Thanks for reading, guys! I know the reviews have been coming in slow, but I’m trying my best, I swear. Hopefully I’ll be able to speed up during the holidays!