By Jenny Kao & Katie Wech
**SPOILERS!**
If you have not watched this episode, please do so before continuing!
Three more episodes... no crossover yet, but I could have sworn the preview included a mention of Storybrooke! And... wait... oh, heck no! What is CORA DOING THERE?
I should have guessed the Queen of (Bleeding) Hearts would be Cora, because everyone is calling Anastasia the Red Queen, and that reveal has already been staged in Once Upon A Time, so no harm, no foul...
Except Cora... I never liked her, no matter what the critics said, or the fact that she comes with a list of credentials as long as her arm...
Grr... Moving on!
Random Thoughts, Observations, and Best Scenes and Quotes:
-The episode opens with Cyrus visiting Underland; at first, I had trouble distinguishing if it was a flashback or not--then he mentions trading back the Lost-and-Found, and we know it's present-day. But of course, negotiating with the Caterpillar is all a diversion, while a shrunk-down Alice sneaks under the Caterpillar's palisade and steals the compass herself. Nicely done! Point for Team Cylice!
-Can I just take a moment to relish the way the Jabberwocky has been written? She totally embodies fear in the way she kind of takes over the throne room behind Jafar's back.
He's all focused on getting the spell to work and getting the genies to cooperate that he doesn't even notice the way she just lounges all over the place. He's carved out his space already... but he has unwittingly left everything else free for her use. Who's sitting on the throne now, eh, Jafar?
-Meanwhile, Jafar is flexing his muscles, causing mild earthquakes through the whole palace; below in the dungeons, the Sultan quakes in fear, knowing full well how Jafar will not hesitate to kill, and never before witnessing magic such as this. Anastasia tells him mournfully, "You no longer have to be surprised what magic can do."
-Flashback time! Young Anastasia is preparing for her coronation and wedding (where we are also introduced to the adorable Tweedles... well, I still find at least one of them adorable, anyway...) when--you guessed it--Cora shows up; is it too much of a stretch to conclude that somebody's gonna lose a true love whenever Cora is involved? Gah, I hate her so much...
-You know what else happens when Cora is around? The witch (I use the term with impunity; she practices magic, doesn't she?) just loves to show off and manipulate the people around her to learn magic from her, promising them all their dreams-come-true... while all the time intending to control their emotions and therefore their every decision.
-Suddenly it becomes all too clear exactly what it means for someone so evil to be "Queen of Hearts"... so glad she finally died in Once Upon A Time...
-Haha! Moment of studio laughter when Anastasia so innocently refuses because, "The King believes Royalty shouldn't have magic; it separates us from our subjects." What? Did he really say that? This tosh from the man who also told her that it was "the way of the world" for him, as the king, to be surrounded by surplus riches while she, as a commoner, should be starving? CHARACTER INCONSISTENCY!!
-Dear Ms. Hershey.... I'm so sorry they made you take this role. It was a terrible fit all around; you're obviously extremely detached from the character, and I'm so sorry that whatever talent you previously possessed was so grossly squandered on such banal writing... to add insult to injury by inserting Cora's character in an already-doomed spin-off is just a poor attempt at boosting viewership... but honestly, ma'am: your delivery could have used a bit... no, make that A LOT more conviction! Way to fill the role of Cardboard Character, ma'am!
-Hurrah for Hero Tweedle come to warn Cyrus and Alice about the Jabberwocky!
-The spell isn't working... and it's ALL WILL'S FAULT!! Point for the Knave! This scene is so lovely, from Will's totally nonchalant manner toward Jafar, all the way through his interactions with the Jabberwocky, the character that just reduced Anastasia to a blubbering mess before his eyes, who single-handedly has the power to kill a man with fear--
Okay, okay! I just have to post the clip, it's too delicious to do it justice!
-In the flashback between Anastasia and Will, she of course has convinced her guilty conscience that marrying the Red King is "Best for both of us." Yeah right! When she is the only one who really benefits, while Will is left holding the bag? Typical, cliche, misplaced priorities!
-Oh gosh, the scene between Cora and the Knave when she makes it her business to make sure that Anastasia and Will are kept apart for all time just serves to highlight how bloody brilliant he is; the sheer range of emotion he displays in his delivery makes the one with an actual pedigree of sorts (I'm told... apparently Barbara Hershey was some kind of glamor girl back in her day...) look like a cardboard cutout delivering lines of text. Point for Will Scarlet!
-AT LAST!! THE CROSSOVER I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR!!
Wait...
Ummm....
Okay, so there are at least cars... but invisible people driving them (I coulda sworn that was Emma's yellow Bug... why didn't she say anything??) but... nary a soul in sight! What? Since when was Storybrooke a ghost town? Since like never! With all the stories whose characters are there, it's literally inconceivable... There is just no way you're going to convince anyone that a crater that size in the middle of the road is just an everyday occurrence! (Okay, it's a budget constraint, I get that.. but still....)
-I admit, Cyrus with the light switches was a rather cute touch. I mean, we have medieval/Victorian-era characters in a modern setting... why not pull out the "Electricity Is Magic" trope?
-Annnd... back to "Willistasia" again... Seriously, what is it with evil queens and finding a couple who are truly in love and wanting them to be separated and miserable for all eternity?? I mean, now we know where Queen Regina gets her "curses-on-your-happiness" attitude, but seriously.... It just doesn't make sense at all!
There is nothing to be gained but a convenient way to involve a "popular" character and give the Red Queen the magic ability and find a convincing scenario to remove the Knave's heart in the first place... but other than a Plot Device of Total Contrivance... yeah, I got nothing...
-Back to "trash the Knave's apartment" with "Team Cylice"... Again, I have to wonder about Ghost-Town!Storybrooke.... all that banging around in an apartment that he probably isn't actually renting or paying for... a huge blooming crater in the road just down the way... and not even the semblance of police checking it out at all? It must be something like one in the morning... no home-invasion calls going on in the background? Not even a siren? All those cars on the road, why not a patrol car?
-Our heroes return to Wonderland, and the Lost-and-Found starts going crazy... of course Jafar is standing right there!! Oh, and they totally copped the Disney "Jafar Theme" for his appearance!
-But wait! There's more! The staff's eyes turn from red to golden... and when Jafar moves to take it away from Cyrus, the staff blasts him all by herself!
-Of course, we already know it's Amara, who is also Cyrus' mother... but it takes the two lovers several minutes to discover that the Lost-and-Found finally points... to the staff! Oh, the irony of discovering your mother-in-law is... a "snake stick." Now all that remains is discovering exactly how to free her... (and you'll just *luuuv* how that ends up happening... jerk-face, lazy-butt writers...)
-Meanwhile, Jafar has Will's heart, and he sticks it back in...
Amid painful screams from Will, who recovers slowly...
Anastasia begs for him to look at her; she's excited to see if he might remember his love for her now that he has his heart back...
HE DOES!!! All the pain is forgotten and the two of them kiss through the bars, before they are dragged apart...
Will is shoved back into his cell, while Jafar drags Anastasia out....
AND FREAKING SLITS HER THROAT RIGHT THERE IN FRONT OF WILL!!!!!!!
WHAT THE BLOODY??? THIS SHOW MAKES NO SENSE ANYMORE!! HOW DARE THEY!!! SHE'S A MAIN CHARACTER FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!! HAVE THEY ALL GONE MAD??? AARRGGGGGHHHH!!!! WHYYYYY?????
FINAL SCORE: With Will's screams still ringing in my ears at the sudden, unprovoked, inexplicable death of his only-just-reunited one-true-love... I confess I hated the whole dang show after this. The heroes kept it together well enough... the villains were just as nasty as nasty could be (I'm docking a point for that slaughter of a main character... there's just no excuse!) The graphics were great (owed mostly to the prowess of Emma Rigby and Michael Socha! Their interactions with the obviously-animated visual effects made them that much more credible than they would ordinarily be) and the banter... meh... I'm docking a point for the infractions committed by Cyrus and the White Rabbit ('scuse me, Percy) combined. Conflict/Resolution of the whole Cyrus'-mother-is-a-serpent-staff worked out well enough... but HOLEY MOLEY it would have been just fine without that last killing!! Are you kidding me? That scenario HAD NO CONFLICT TO JUSTIFY THAT!! Blurgh...
Heroes: 5/5
Villains: 4/5
Graphics/VFX: 4/5
Banter: 4/5
Conflict/Resolution: 4/5
TOTAL SCORE: 8/10
If you have not watched this episode, please do so before continuing!
Three more episodes... no crossover yet, but I could have sworn the preview included a mention of Storybrooke! And... wait... oh, heck no! What is CORA DOING THERE?
I should have guessed the Queen of (Bleeding) Hearts would be Cora, because everyone is calling Anastasia the Red Queen, and that reveal has already been staged in Once Upon A Time, so no harm, no foul...
Except Cora... I never liked her, no matter what the critics said, or the fact that she comes with a list of credentials as long as her arm...
Grr... Moving on!
Random Thoughts, Observations, and Best Scenes and Quotes:
-Can I just take a moment to relish the way the Jabberwocky has been written? She totally embodies fear in the way she kind of takes over the throne room behind Jafar's back.
He's all focused on getting the spell to work and getting the genies to cooperate that he doesn't even notice the way she just lounges all over the place. He's carved out his space already... but he has unwittingly left everything else free for her use. Who's sitting on the throne now, eh, Jafar?-Meanwhile, Jafar is flexing his muscles, causing mild earthquakes through the whole palace; below in the dungeons, the Sultan quakes in fear, knowing full well how Jafar will not hesitate to kill, and never before witnessing magic such as this. Anastasia tells him mournfully, "You no longer have to be surprised what magic can do."
-Flashback time! Young Anastasia is preparing for her coronation and wedding (where we are also introduced to the adorable Tweedles... well, I still find at least one of them adorable, anyway...) when--you guessed it--Cora shows up; is it too much of a stretch to conclude that somebody's gonna lose a true love whenever Cora is involved? Gah, I hate her so much...
-You know what else happens when Cora is around? The witch (I use the term with impunity; she practices magic, doesn't she?) just loves to show off and manipulate the people around her to learn magic from her, promising them all their dreams-come-true... while all the time intending to control their emotions and therefore their every decision.
-Suddenly it becomes all too clear exactly what it means for someone so evil to be "Queen of Hearts"... so glad she finally died in Once Upon A Time...
-Haha! Moment of studio laughter when Anastasia so innocently refuses because, "The King believes Royalty shouldn't have magic; it separates us from our subjects." What? Did he really say that? This tosh from the man who also told her that it was "the way of the world" for him, as the king, to be surrounded by surplus riches while she, as a commoner, should be starving? CHARACTER INCONSISTENCY!!
-Dear Ms. Hershey.... I'm so sorry they made you take this role. It was a terrible fit all around; you're obviously extremely detached from the character, and I'm so sorry that whatever talent you previously possessed was so grossly squandered on such banal writing... to add insult to injury by inserting Cora's character in an already-doomed spin-off is just a poor attempt at boosting viewership... but honestly, ma'am: your delivery could have used a bit... no, make that A LOT more conviction! Way to fill the role of Cardboard Character, ma'am!
-Hurrah for Hero Tweedle come to warn Cyrus and Alice about the Jabberwocky!
-The spell isn't working... and it's ALL WILL'S FAULT!! Point for the Knave! This scene is so lovely, from Will's totally nonchalant manner toward Jafar, all the way through his interactions with the Jabberwocky, the character that just reduced Anastasia to a blubbering mess before his eyes, who single-handedly has the power to kill a man with fear--
Okay, okay! I just have to post the clip, it's too delicious to do it justice!
-In the flashback between Anastasia and Will, she of course has convinced her guilty conscience that marrying the Red King is "Best for both of us." Yeah right! When she is the only one who really benefits, while Will is left holding the bag? Typical, cliche, misplaced priorities!
-Oh gosh, the scene between Cora and the Knave when she makes it her business to make sure that Anastasia and Will are kept apart for all time just serves to highlight how bloody brilliant he is; the sheer range of emotion he displays in his delivery makes the one with an actual pedigree of sorts (I'm told... apparently Barbara Hershey was some kind of glamor girl back in her day...) look like a cardboard cutout delivering lines of text. Point for Will Scarlet!
Wait...
Ummm....
Okay, so there are at least cars... but invisible people driving them (I coulda sworn that was Emma's yellow Bug... why didn't she say anything??) but... nary a soul in sight! What? Since when was Storybrooke a ghost town? Since like never! With all the stories whose characters are there, it's literally inconceivable... There is just no way you're going to convince anyone that a crater that size in the middle of the road is just an everyday occurrence! (Okay, it's a budget constraint, I get that.. but still....)
-I admit, Cyrus with the light switches was a rather cute touch. I mean, we have medieval/Victorian-era characters in a modern setting... why not pull out the "Electricity Is Magic" trope?
-Annnd... back to "Willistasia" again... Seriously, what is it with evil queens and finding a couple who are truly in love and wanting them to be separated and miserable for all eternity?? I mean, now we know where Queen Regina gets her "curses-on-your-happiness" attitude, but seriously.... It just doesn't make sense at all!There is nothing to be gained but a convenient way to involve a "popular" character and give the Red Queen the magic ability and find a convincing scenario to remove the Knave's heart in the first place... but other than a Plot Device of Total Contrivance... yeah, I got nothing...
-Back to "trash the Knave's apartment" with "Team Cylice"... Again, I have to wonder about Ghost-Town!Storybrooke.... all that banging around in an apartment that he probably isn't actually renting or paying for... a huge blooming crater in the road just down the way... and not even the semblance of police checking it out at all? It must be something like one in the morning... no home-invasion calls going on in the background? Not even a siren? All those cars on the road, why not a patrol car?-Our heroes return to Wonderland, and the Lost-and-Found starts going crazy... of course Jafar is standing right there!! Oh, and they totally copped the Disney "Jafar Theme" for his appearance!
-But wait! There's more! The staff's eyes turn from red to golden... and when Jafar moves to take it away from Cyrus, the staff blasts him all by herself!
-Of course, we already know it's Amara, who is also Cyrus' mother... but it takes the two lovers several minutes to discover that the Lost-and-Found finally points... to the staff! Oh, the irony of discovering your mother-in-law is... a "snake stick." Now all that remains is discovering exactly how to free her... (and you'll just *luuuv* how that ends up happening... jerk-face, lazy-butt writers...)
Amid painful screams from Will, who recovers slowly...
Anastasia begs for him to look at her; she's excited to see if he might remember his love for her now that he has his heart back...
HE DOES!!! All the pain is forgotten and the two of them kiss through the bars, before they are dragged apart...
Will is shoved back into his cell, while Jafar drags Anastasia out....
AND FREAKING SLITS HER THROAT RIGHT THERE IN FRONT OF WILL!!!!!!!
FINAL SCORE: With Will's screams still ringing in my ears at the sudden, unprovoked, inexplicable death of his only-just-reunited one-true-love... I confess I hated the whole dang show after this. The heroes kept it together well enough... the villains were just as nasty as nasty could be (I'm docking a point for that slaughter of a main character... there's just no excuse!) The graphics were great (owed mostly to the prowess of Emma Rigby and Michael Socha! Their interactions with the obviously-animated visual effects made them that much more credible than they would ordinarily be) and the banter... meh... I'm docking a point for the infractions committed by Cyrus and the White Rabbit ('scuse me, Percy) combined. Conflict/Resolution of the whole Cyrus'-mother-is-a-serpent-staff worked out well enough... but HOLEY MOLEY it would have been just fine without that last killing!! Are you kidding me? That scenario HAD NO CONFLICT TO JUSTIFY THAT!! Blurgh...
 |
| I'm so sorry, Will... So very, VERY sorry... :,( |
Heroes: 5/5
Villains: 4/5
Graphics/VFX: 4/5
Banter: 4/5
Conflict/Resolution: 4/5
TOTAL SCORE: 8/10
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