Cabin Pressure Review: Season 1 Episode 3 "Cremona"

Hey there, readers!

Its only been... what, a few days? Naturally you've missed me. Don't worry, its all right. I missed me too! Anyway, lets carry on, shall we?

Hello, readers. *insert obligatory spoiler warning here* Yes, I know, I'm doing a Carolyn right now, but its getting boring warning you, and there is only so many ways you can say: Spoilers hereth, do not readeth. Yeah, I just watched Doctor Who's 'The Shakespeare Code'. Sorry for the olde worlde wordse. ;) On with the post... as both Douglas and The Eleventh Doctor say...: GERONIMO!

This blog post... Cremona!

Favourite Moments and Ridiculous Thoughts:

- This week's Pointy End Game is: How Many Song Lyrics/Words We Can Squish Into One Cabin Address. I wonder if real pilots do what these pilots do. Imagine if they did, though. I'd think I'd have a riot if I went on MJN. I think it would be...

And... Douglas one the game hands down... with: Good evening. This is First Officer Douglas Richardson. Just to let you know we’re now making our final preparations to ‘fly you to the moon’. While we’re airborne I do hope you’ll take advantage of the opportunity to ‘play among the stars’. Those of you sitting on the left-hand side of the aircraft should have an excellent view of ‘what spring is like on Jupiter’; and on the right-hand side, ‘Mars’. ‘In other words, hold my hand. In other words, baby, kiss me.’ Whereas, all Martin did was sing:

The plus side is hearing Benedict Cumberbatch SING. Which left me in a fangirl puddle of happiness. How many others of you did it affect so strongly..? Let me know!

- This episode's client is the GREAT, the AWESOME, the BRILLIANTLY TALENTED actress... Hester Macauley...? Who in the heck is she? Besides someone Martin obviously has a humongous crush on. Poor dude. She's not interested in him... what celebrity would be interested in a klutzy, unlucky, gorgeously handsome airline captain, hmm? Yeeeah.

- This Hester chick is a wee bit whiny, actually. Somewhat like how I'd imagine that blond chick who's always wearing pink and named after some dog in High School Musical, actually... Poodle? Chihuahua? Sharpay? Yes! Sharpay! All whiny and 'do this because I am better that you, you're just some sod off the street, where I, I am an actress, and so of course know better than you.' Cannot stand people like that. Thats why Benedict Cumberbatch, David Tennant, Matt Smith, Jensen Ackles, Misha Collins and Jared Padalecki are so awesome. They're humble, and love the fans as much as the fans love them... whoops, that turned into a bit of a lecture.

- The other one who has a... a thing for this British-Sharpay chick is Arthur. He kinda has an aneurysm when Carolyn tells them who it is.

- Apparently, she's a gal who acted in a modern adaptation of 'King Arthur.' And when I say modern, I mean modern: ARTHUR (high-pitched with excitement): She was Griselda, the Lady of the Lake – in-in Quest for Camelot! CAROLYN (disinterestedly): Oh, was she?
ARTHUR: Yes! She’s the one who tells Arthur to bring her Excalibur!
DOUGLAS: Bring her Excalibur? Surely she gives him Excalibur?
ARTHUR: How could she give him Excalibur? Excalibur’s a person.
DOUGLAS: Rrrright. Keen Arthurian scholars were they, these film makers?
ARTHUR: Well, I say ‘person’; obviously it famously turns out he’s a vampire. ...see? Modern. I think Twitlight, sorry, Twilight, was the big fad at the time, or something.

- CAROLYN: Arthur? There’s something on your face.
ARTHUR: Ooh. Got it?
CAROLYN: No, no, lower. It’s hanging off the bottom of your face. It’s a sort of huge shelf of bone and flesh, and it’s flapping about making a horrible noise. Will you make it stop?
ARTHUR: Right. Yes. Sorry, Mum. I BLOODY WELL LOVE THIS SHOW!!

- Isn't it weird that the Excelsior is all high end and five star, whereas the Garbaldi is all cockroach-y and minus-ten star? I mean, Excelsior is a pretty posh and frou-frou, I'd expect that from a 5 star. But Garibaldi for a crap hotel? Didn't Garibaldi do something good for Italy and all that stuff a million years ago? (Yes, I've done History, but I didn't cover that, thank God. XP)

- Oh my, guys, I was looking online for thingies like the thing above to put in this post... and look at what I found!!

It's Douglas as Owl, Martin as Winnie The Pooh, Arthur as Tigger and Carolyn as Rabbit! Oh, that is perfect!

- A whole bunch of 'Hester's fans are outside the cabin  'wearing home-made suits of armour' and 'singing about a dragon' when this chick arrives. They're all men, by the way...

- Hester arrives and Martin... well... Martin's.
HESTER: Oh, hello. MJN Air?
MARTIN: Yes! Hello! Er, good morning, Ms Madam, and wel… Ma-Madam Macauley, Ms Ma’am, Mmm, Ms Macauley.
HESTER: Good! Thank you; but please, call me Hester.
DOUGLAS: Yes – the full title’s rather a mouthful, isn’t it? See? Poor dude. Do you have ANY IDEA how many times I've wanted to hug this guy? Its physically painful listening to him, also being aware that there's nobody around to hug him. (Shut UP, Douglas/Martin shippers!)

- As soon as Hester arrives, she wants to talk to Carolyn because she doesn't have much faith in Martin's flying ability. Carolyn's reply..?

Its not like he's the only pilot, right?

- And now... the one, the only, the infamous... ALTIMETER scene! Hester gets invited by Martin to take a look at the flight deck, and he tells her all the names for all the things that make G-ERTI fly. He gets to the altimeter and...

- This is said with lots of fake, awkward laughter from Martin. Joy.

- Hester then gets all mad at Arthur, yells at Carolyn and makes it known that she's better than all of them. She also wants lemon tea. NOW.

- They land, and go to the Excelsior to drop Hester off. And Martin comes up with a pseudonym that I GUESSED BEFORE HE SAID! A cartoon character of my namesake... altogether now... Jessica Rabbit! And then he calls her 'Mrs Snoopy. *facepalm*

- Hester then convinces dear ol' Martin and the Merry Men of MJN to stay with her at the Excelsior. Martin then decides not to, and goes back downstairs to rescind his... order? Request? And the dude at the counter then says:
RECEPTIONIST: Ooh.
MARTIN: I don’t like the way you said, ‘Oh’. Please tell me it’s a cultural thing and that’s just how you begin the sentence … (in an attempt at an Italian accent) ‘Oh, don’ta worry, sir, that will be no problemo at all.’
RECEPTIONIST: No, the-the-the problem is, er, somebody just tried to rent the State Rooms, and we had to turn him down.
MARTIN: Great. He can have it.
RECEPTIONIST: No-no, he-he’s gone now. Er, we don’t know where.
MARTIN: What did he look like?
RECEPTIONIST: Er-er, he-he-he was a-a big man with a big … coat, er, and a big … beard.
MARTIN: Right, so in the eight minutes since I was last here, Brian Blessed strolled in, tried to rent the most expensive suite in the hotel and then left disappointed for a destination unknown.
RECEPTIONIST: I didn’t get his name. That is the best line, the underlined one, in this whole episode, possibly the whole first season. It has me dying with laughter every time I hear it. :D

- Carolyn has revenge by sending Hester's fans to the hotel, Douglas is awesome and fixes it by saying that the fans were extras, and hey presto! She has..:

- And so, the episode ends with Martin being swindled by Carolyn and Douglas, and Hester all happy and sweet, and barfing up rainbows and everything is right with the world! Hooray!

So, yeah, that's it. Do let me know what you think.

Peace out, dudes! See ya!

Jess.