By Adam Nussdorf & Rina Mimoun
**SPOILERS!**
If you have not watched this episode, please do so before continuing!
Wait... isn't that a TV series about a bunch of high-school/junior-college girls who get in trouble when one of their number gets murdered and they're all implicated? You know what, never mind...
All right, so this episode aired the week ABC confirmed the rumors that they were "cancelling" Once Upon A Time in Wonderland--and then it comes out that they had only written thirteen episodes anyway, so the promises of adding new characters and creating a solid new series as an apology for the long, drawn-out melodrama that is such a departure from the original starting point (more on that later...) is all bunk.
As you may have guessed, in this episode we learn all about Cyrus' family... because the guy is just so darn intriguing we can't get enough of him, right? Cyrus wasn't always a genie, of course, and we've only just realized he had brothers--three brothers, three genies... amazing how convenient a reveal like this could be when you consider that we haven't ever actually seen the other two genies Jafar had, and they just happened to all come from the same family? (more on that later...) Also, Jafar has the Jabberwocky, and all she needs is a target. It's only a matter of time before she finds the group...
Random Thoughts, Observations, and Best Scenes:
-The episode opens with the iconic "hero-beating-ruffians-at-poker" scene; I find this highly anachronistic (because I can't find info on the game they're playing... Capo, it is apparently called, but the incredibly-poker-like version they're playing--complete with an ante and the choice to either "go in" or "fold"--does not exist under that name...) and furthermore, it only serves to demonstrate how Cyrus may not have acquired the skill of reading people as some sort of "genie prescience"; he uses it to cheat and out-bluff his opponents
-Of course, losing at cards like that is so humiliating that the big burly guys who lost money go and burn Cyrus' house down--while his mother is still inside; geez, ever heard of sportsmanship?
-Meanwhile, Alice is still coming to grips with having to work with Anastasia--and Will is very miffed at being a genie. He's got definite opinions when it comes down to rescuing Cyrus' brothers or just breaking the curse to stop Jafar.
-WILL: (pointing to the bottle in Cyrus' hands) I like the bit where we break the curse and free the genie. See that? That's my house he's holding; precious little room in there. You know what else there isn't?
ALICE: Please don't tell us...
WILL: A toilet! (Teehee... how practical...if you think about it, Will seems to be the only one hearing "Nature's call" in the whole show...)
-Of course, Alice prefers the method of just creating a diversion to draw Jafar out, breaking into the castle, and stealing the other genies. Straightforward, cutthroat--and totally bonkers. Romance has turned the girl's head; now Cyrus mentions that "the only way to break the curse is at the Well of Wonders in Agrabah." But... there's not enough episodes left to get them all the way to Agrabah and back... uh-oh... I smell a Convenient Plot Device coming up...
-ANASTASIA: Enchanted waters flow under all magical worlds; there's a Well of Wonders right here in Wonderland." THERE IT IS! Y'don't say? What a fascinating and oddly-fortunate circumstance!
-Alice has been cooking up the hare-brained schemes for the entire show... and all of a sudden, someone else has a plan, and she's worried about what will happen if they fail? Character inconsistency! This is what happens when different writers must use characters that are established but not adequately formed...
-Oooh boy! I love the way all sound cuts out when the Jabberwocky walks on-screen. She gets in the poor man's head, and then overwhelms him with such fear he drops down dead--literally scared to death. Chills, man... She finds the departed Liz--but apparently the Jabberwocky is not above desecrating a dead body.
-She brings Jafar Liz's eyeballs. GAAKK!! WHYY???? Must we be so revolting? Somehow, he's able to use the eyeballs to see "The last thing the dead girl saw"... but then it reveals Anastasia's face... and I thought Liz was already dead when Anastasia arrived, so how could that be the last thing her eyes saw... Continuity error! Oh well, I guess the writers are going with whatever is most expedient for ending the show; too bad, they seem to be having a lot of fun with the Jabberwocky; she's obviously the villain they wanted to make Jafar; she even points out that when Jafar says he "always gets what [he] wants", in reality he could not have gotten it without her; being the egomaniac he is, of course, he ignores her and sends her to fetch Anastasia
-Our "heroes" have split up, with Anastasia and Will going to gather the Wonderlanders into an army to come against Jafar, and Cyrus and Alice in charge of finding the Well of Wonders and working out how to break the curse; of course, this gives Alice the opportunity to ask Cyrus all the questions necessary to prompt his flashbacks, and he keeps pushing her off and being vague--which only serves to demonstrate just how badly he cheated to win at that card game, because he is practically wearing an "I HAVE A SECRET" expression on his face! Even I can see his answers are deliberate dodges and half-truths!
-You know those characters who merely exist to reveal key plot points at a certain time so that all the other characters can go on just being themselves without dragging the plot? Yeah, that's shoddy writing... and your resident Plot Exposition Character--is a Bunny. (Experienced writers who have heard the term "plot bunny" will find that hilarious) No, but seriously... take all the White Rabbit's lines and appearances, and he's just annoying, fretful, overly informative, and just blah!
-I think I'm with Will on the matter of Anastasia; the writers didn't do a very good job at actually proving her to be any nobler than her normal self; if I was someone who the Rabbit tried to recruit, I wouldn't believe her, either!
-Our "heroes" have split up, with Anastasia and Will going to gather the Wonderlanders into an army to come against Jafar, and Cyrus and Alice in charge of finding the Well of Wonders and working out how to break the curse; of course, this gives Alice the opportunity to ask Cyrus all the questions necessary to prompt his flashbacks, and he keeps pushing her off and being vague--which only serves to demonstrate just how badly he cheated to win at that card game, because he is practically wearing an "I HAVE A SECRET" expression on his face! Even I can see his answers are deliberate dodges and half-truths!
-I think I'm with Will on the matter of Anastasia; the writers didn't do a very good job at actually proving her to be any nobler than her normal self; if I was someone who the Rabbit tried to recruit, I wouldn't believe her, either!
-To continue Cyrus' backstory, he happens to know of rumors concerning the Well of Wonders (so finally we'll find out what that's all about...) with its magical waters; seems to me Anastasia's not the only one who likes to take the easy way out; Cyrus uses guilt and noble speeches to convince his brothers to go with him to get the water, rather than just accepting his mother's impending death
-Oh, by now Alice has wormed that much of the information out of him; They arrive at the door that will lead them to the Well of Wonders... and it's two doors, guarded by a white knight who won't tell them which is the correct door
-This scene serves as a foil for Cyrus to confess that he is to blame for Alice's suffering, just as he blames himself for his mother's dire situation... but in his confession, he basically says that all the painful situations in the lives of his friends and family are on account of his own mistakes that he knowingly committed; he's got himself and everyone around him in messes of his own making; and this guy is supposed to be some kind of hero?
-Oh, but Cyrus isn't done playing the part of a noble hero... he actually plays the "I have to do this alone" card! And when Alice protests (rightly so; they've only been reunited for a couple days, and who knows what dangers await him through the door?) he snaps at her... poor form, Cyrus!
-And so we come to the SECOND MOST PAINFUL SCENE IN THE WHOLE SERIES!! Jafar has the bottle, he has Anastasia and Will... and the Jabberwocky can get him what he wants; at least Will has the presence of mind to tell Anastasia to wish Jafar out of Wonderland (where would he go? Storybrooke, perhaps? How awesome of a show would it be if Jafar ended up in Storybrooke and had to make his way back to Wonderland in order to finish his plan?) but Jafar takes her voice away, and then lets the Jabberwocky in, to break Anastasia and force her to make her wishes.
-Not to mention that the sorceress-turned-snake-staff finally has a name: Amara. Any ideas why they didn't reveal this at all earlier in the series? (believe me, I checked; the whole time in the "Serpent" episode, he never said her name once!) Hmm... I smell a Big Shocking Reveal coming...
-And here it comes... Cyrus and his brothers return with the water, which revives his mother and heals her burned skin. The nurse removes the bandages.... calls her Amara.... and sure enough, it's the Sorceress from the "Serpent" episode! So, now we know the real reason Cyrus knew "a simple location spell" and carried a magical item like the Lost-and-Found... isn't it nice when a show "recycles" old characters in new and deeply-involved ways? You know there's going to be something that has to do with the snake-staff that happens to have Cyrus' mother who he's been missing all these years inside it... that, and the fact that there are only a handful of episodes left in the whole show, so they don't dare leave any plot thread hanging loose now!
-Valuable life lesson: when one is suddenly restored to life, deep breaths are advisable by medical professionals...
-Valuable life lesson: when one is suddenly restored to life, deep breaths are advisable by medical professionals...
-"I feel like I've slept for one hundred years!" Aww, you're sweet... but it was only like two, maybe three days, tops...
-Of course, someone acquainted with magic like Amara would know the dangers of defying a specter like the Guardian of the Waters... and only now does the camera show us that a bit of the residual water has dripped onto the floor and pooled... Amara is trying to get her boys out of the house, as if they can escape a spirit... no go... and oh look, she happens to have two bottles and an oil lamp sitting convenient on the table, just right for newly-formed genies... Justice is served... and we have a woman versed in magic who is more determined than ever to track down three specific genies... but she needs the help of another sorcerer to do it...
-Oh, goll-durn-it!! Back in Jafar's prison, the Jabberwocky is still going at it; she's reduced Anastasia to her basest motivations; the poor girl is quivering and positively shattered...
-"You wonder if the Prince had chosen you instead of your stepsister, how differently your life would have been!"
OOHHH! OOOH!! See? SEE? GUESS WHO THE STEPSISTER IS!! YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO! COME ON, GUESS!! No, but seriously, she says that and I'm all, like...
 |
| "I totally caught that reference!" |
-Here's how powerful Jafar is: nothing he could have said or done would have had any more effect on Anastasia than they did on Alice--the Jabberwocky, though, reduces Anastasia to a blubbering mess, then adds insult to injury by making her wish for frivolous things: her crown, her jewels... and finally, for the Jabberwocky to stop. And just like that, Will is back in the bottle, and Jafar has it.
-Oh wow... so Anastasia is totally aphasic after her ordeal, in her prison... guess who comes to visit her? I found this scene to be totally heartwarming and really adorable. This Tweedle is so heroic, so noble... the other one is a turncoat and a coward, but this guy not only defies Jafar multiple times, but even when Anastasia is reduced to a prisoner in her own cell, wondering why on earth he would dare bring her food or be kind to her, he says simply, "Because you are my Queen." WOW. That is Hero material!
-Alice and Cyrus have a heart-to-heart over the Well of Wonders, when he finds out that his mother is still alive (after "hundreds of years"... maybe she had some kind of anti-aging magic, that's how she could stay the same age while waiting for Jafar to grow up!) and that bringing her to the Well will lift the curse!
-When Alice points out how he'd been basically lying to keep all this from her the whole time, he gives the Lamest Excuse Ever: "I didn't want to lose you." Right... because everyone knows that lying about your own shortcomings makes you automatically more desirable and worthy of your significant other's love...
-Sounds like Alice is the only one who has actually learned her lesson from everything that's happened:
ALICE: "Everybody makes mistakes."
CYRUS: "Not you." Oh, right!!
FINAL SCORE: Jabberwocky wins this one, hands-down. She's so cruel, so sleek, so unhesitating that every time the sound cuts out, my skin starts crawling. It's really too bad the show brings her in for a mere three episodes—but the viewers might not have been able to stand more Jabberwocky than that. I mean, I thought the mutant dragon from the original illustrations was nightmare-inducing... But imagine DAT FACE staring at you from the shadows...
FINAL SCORE: Jabberwocky wins this one, hands-down. She's so cruel, so sleek, so unhesitating that every time the sound cuts out, my skin starts crawling. It's really too bad the show brings her in for a mere three episodes—but the viewers might not have been able to stand more Jabberwocky than that. I mean, I thought the mutant dragon from the original illustrations was nightmare-inducing... But imagine DAT FACE staring at you from the shadows...
...Moving on!
Cyrus... Why you gotta be so lame? He's the Prince Edward to Alice's Giselle; I mean, about his only good quality is that he loves and is determined to protect Alice—even if, as he said, all the danger in her life came from his stupid mistakes! It's taken ten episodes for everything to fall into place, just in time for the writers to lean in and smash it all to pieces merely for the sake of the ratings. Only this time... Liz is dead. Phooey.
Will is enough to make everything okay; his reaction to the compulsion of being a genie is highly entertaining to watch.
As for Anastasia... I'm not sure what category she belongs in anymore! I find it interesting that she originally wanted to audition for Alice, because til now she usually got the "good-girl" roles, so the Red Queen was her guest time playing the antagonist. She did a great job, and Will's literal heartlessness toward her is painful to watch, but the way she's responding to the whole thing doesn't seem to suit her character very well... I just don't know. The scene with the Tweedle was very touching. He's the reason I only docked one point, not two.
The visual effects were realistically done—at least some people on this show still care if their jobs are done right! The banter from everybody but Cyrus and the White Rabbit felt very natural and fun, (but the obvious exposition of the aforementioned characters' dialogue dragged the score down somewhat), and the conflict and resolution quality finally gets a perfect score after languishing at fours and threes for so long. So this episode scores 9/10, and the show's almost over, folks!
Cyrus... Why you gotta be so lame? He's the Prince Edward to Alice's Giselle; I mean, about his only good quality is that he loves and is determined to protect Alice—even if, as he said, all the danger in her life came from his stupid mistakes! It's taken ten episodes for everything to fall into place, just in time for the writers to lean in and smash it all to pieces merely for the sake of the ratings. Only this time... Liz is dead. Phooey.
Will is enough to make everything okay; his reaction to the compulsion of being a genie is highly entertaining to watch.
As for Anastasia... I'm not sure what category she belongs in anymore! I find it interesting that she originally wanted to audition for Alice, because til now she usually got the "good-girl" roles, so the Red Queen was her guest time playing the antagonist. She did a great job, and Will's literal heartlessness toward her is painful to watch, but the way she's responding to the whole thing doesn't seem to suit her character very well... I just don't know. The scene with the Tweedle was very touching. He's the reason I only docked one point, not two.
The visual effects were realistically done—at least some people on this show still care if their jobs are done right! The banter from everybody but Cyrus and the White Rabbit felt very natural and fun, (but the obvious exposition of the aforementioned characters' dialogue dragged the score down somewhat), and the conflict and resolution quality finally gets a perfect score after languishing at fours and threes for so long. So this episode scores 9/10, and the show's almost over, folks!
Heroes: 4/5
Villains: 5/5
Graphics/VFX: 5/5
Banter: 3/5
Conflict/Resolution: 5/5
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