OUAT-Wonderland Review: Episode 9 "Nothing to Fear"

By Richard Hatem & Jenny Kao

**SPOILERS!**
If you have not watched this episode, please do so before continuing!

Okay, so Will is a genie, Anastasia, Cyrus, and Alice are still in Wonderland...

So why, all of a sudden, are we seeing scenes of Liz in the recap? I hadn't realized she was still an active character in this story.

But apparently, since nobody's leaving Wonderland anyway, it's not like she can't suddenly be thrust back into their lives...however briefly...

I'm getting ahead of myself.

The episode resumes where the last one left off: Will is the genie in the bottle, fighting to keep his balance while the thing bobs around a creek. (side note: I could have sworn he was about to go over a waterfall at the end of the last episode... That waterfall is conspicuously missing in this episode... Methinks it was just an element of humor signifying nothing...)

The bottle washes up against a bank, and is picked up by a freshly-bathed Lizard. She releases Will, and the two share a brief reunion, since the last time they saw each other, Liz was unconscious and Will was stone.

For all Will knows, Alice and Cyrus are in mortal danger, and he tries to take his leave...

Only to discover he can't. He looks at Liz, and the genie magic kicks in, compelling him to say the rhyme: "Mistress mine, my will is thine; tell me your wishes three." Being Will, though, he follows that up with a resounding "Bloody hell!"

Yes, Will is a genie—and now Liz is his master.

MEANWHILE... We return to Mr. and Mrs. Smarmy—excuse me, Alice and Cyrus. Don't get me wrong, those two are the perfect fairytale couple—too mushy to be anything else.
Their moment is interrupted by the Queen, who scoffs at their lovey-dovey moment.
Alice can't remember what happened before she went down, so she can't figure out why on earth they would be working with the Queen. Anastasia assures them that the only reason she's cooperating is to find Will, not for any power, and certainly not to betray them to Jafar.

Speaking of whom...

Now that he thinks his little lightning bolt has eliminated the Queen, Jafar has a castle and a throne of his own. He makes sure everyone knows he's in charge, even has his father the prisoner brought up to witness the moment.

Once again, it's a battle of wills staged by Jafar... and he loses--badly. Jafar taunts him, goading him to finally accept him as a son because he now has a throne. The Sultan looks him dead in the eye and says, "A throne is made when the man who sits on it is worthy. When you sit on it, Jafar, it is nothing more than a large chair."

So. Much. BURN. 

Of course, Jafar's solution is to find something that he can control that people will fear. The Caterpillar drops by to affirm his cooperation and flatter his way up the chain of command. Jafar convinces him to spill about the Jabberwocky. It is the monster that no one names, because the mention just might bring its presence. It is the thing that kills and hunts with no soul, so that it brings death wherever it goes.

In short, it's just the sort of pet for Jafar.  He immediately starts making plans to release it from where it has been imprisoned for as long as anyone can remember.

MEANWHILE... Alice really can't remember why or how they are working with the Queen who made her life so miserable... but being in close quarters gives her the opportunity to be as snippy as she likes. Alice and Cyrus, too, are realizing that they have a lot to catch up on--namely, how Alice came back to Wonderland, what happened to Cyrus all those years, all the stories he never got to tell her...

Of course, all it takes is for Alice to talk about how she's fully expecting Anastasia to somehow give them the slip-- Suddenly it's all like "Where did she go? I never even realized she slipped off!" Ya don't say, genius?

MEANWHILE... Back in the village, Will is trying to get Liz to make a wish, and Liz can't think of anything. She agrees to make one wish, and let him run off and do what he wants. Of course, though, he's obligated to inform her of the 3 Rules of Genie Magic... but he can't remember them. More specifically, the only one he can remember is that genies can't make anyone fall in love. Of course, the writers have been dropping hints all over the place that this is precisely the only thing Liz actually wants, but Will just snuffed that one, so she can't think of anything else.

Instead of deciding quickly, she generously lets Will make the first wish. All he wants (the simple-minded freeloader...) is a beer... so he wishes for "Beers for everyone in the village!" Because there's nothing harmful about wishing for something like that...


MEANWHILE... Jafar wants his Tweedle to guide him to the Jabberwocky. Now we learn that it took "Five hundred men and Wonderland's most powerful magic" to imprison it. Jafar couldn't be happier; he talks as if the Jabberwocky is just another Bandersnatch to hold in one of his cages or lead about on a leash, so that he won't even have to work very hard to find the genie. He can merely use it as a threat to provide himself with some credibility (because he has proven time and again that his own threats and his power themselves have no credibility at all... the faking fakir...) when he convinces all of Wonderland that they must do as he says or he'll let the Jabberwocky kill them. "That way, they won't just be running from me," he says, "they'll be running from everyone."

MEANWHILE... It is revealed that Anastasia didn't run off after all. She was captured by a band of villagers who finally see that, with Jafar in charge, they can get revenge on the former Queen for how poorly she treated them.

Alice and Cyrus can't find her trail, but wait! Cyrus just happens to know a "simple location spell" that his mother taught him (geez, you'd think she knew her sons would run off... a Lost-and-Found, a location spell... was she planning on going into hiding all those years ago?) and everything they need is within a ten-foot radius. SHAZAAM! The Plot Device of Total Convenience strikes again! They find a piece of her dress, which Cyrus enchants to lead them right to the queen...

MEANWHILE... Will is a celebrity; people are chanting his name and singing his praises. "I couldn't have done it without you, Liz," he says,
never even noticing the FULL-ON DOE EYES SHE'S MAKING AT HIM! She realizes he's clueless, and that makes it awkward, so she stalls, saying she's still thinking.



MEANWHILE... Jafar has arrived at the Jabberwocky's prison. There is a single guard standing in front of the bridge. Jafar tells him to step aside, flourishing his glowing snake staff menacingly...

"The Guard Who Stood Up To Jafar" wins Best Character!

Guy says NO. BONUS POINTS FOR DOING YOUR JOB!!
Jafar whacks him across the head with his snake staff.

Guy gets back on his feet and says NO.

This guard doesn't have a name... but I love the character. He's about the ONLY PERSON IN ALL OF WONDERLAND WHO HAS DEFIED JAFAR SO FAR!! Seriously, His High-Falootin' Whine-ness has to full-on kill the guy to get past him. Umm, Jafar... if that doesn't set of warning bells... let's just say you totally deserve the consequences.

MEANWHILE...The villagers decide to tie the Queen to a stake and leave her as food for the monsters who ruined their crops all year long while she sat in her castle doing nothing. Anastasia starts begging for her life, saying that she could be worth more in ransom than dead. The man calls her bluff, posing this question, "Who would pay to save you?" Anastasia realizes that she really has done nothing to deserve anyone's care at all.

Alice and Cyrus, of course, are not far away, hiding in the bushes trying to decide what to do. Alice just wants to go on and find Will without her, saying that if they were the ones being tied up, Anastasia would do just that. Cyrus pulls the "noble" card, though, saying that they aren't like the Queen, and therefore they should stay and help. He steps forward when Anastasia had given up hope, saying that he would pay for the Queen... but neither he nor Alice has any money. Spunky Miss Alice decides that now is a good time to pull out her sword and try to intimidate these "bumpkins"...

Dumb move. They're all of them armed with gardening tools like shears and hoes.

So it goes that all three of them are tied up, surrounded by torches (because the monsters are attracted to light) and left to the mercy (or lack thereof) of the dreaded momeraths. They manage to kick all the torches over, even tied up like they are, but the monsters keep coming. Turns out, Alice's necklace is glowing brighter than ever. She doesn't want to, but Cyrus tells her to get rid of it. She gets loose, takes it off, throws it far from them, and they escape just in time.

MEANWHILE.... Liz and Will rented a room in the village (or maybe it might be Liz's house, since it's near the river where she was bathing...) Will is still happy with the state of things, getting used to the idea of being a genie if it means everyone likes him so much. He's so smart, he's even figured out what's wrong with Liz: "You fancy someone, don't you?" Immediately, he assumes it's someone in the village, and he gallantly offers to help her use her wishes to get him to notice her.... not fall in love, of course, because that's against the rules, but just to catch his attention.

Liz drops the BIG OBVIOUS HINT when she asks, "What makes you notice a girl?"

Will immediately begins listing off qualities, just as blithe as you please: "Erm, Confidence, passion, spontaneity... style--she's got to know 'ow to wear a dress--a naughty streak don't 'urt... and when I see 'er, it feels like fireworks, cause without that, there's nothing."

Liz immediately wishes for EVERYTHING THAT MAKES WILL NOTICE A GIRL. He grants the wish--but does he realize what she's really doing? No... maybe the "genie insight" that Cyrus had only comes with practice, because Will certainly can't see what's happening in front of him. He compliments her on her looks when he's done, and says that anyone who doesn't fall for her right away is "A complete and utter idiot, and blind to boot."

In the words of the Brothers Grimm, "Thou hast spoken thy own doom," Will Scarlet.

Only at the last possible moment does she actually confess that it's him she likes. SHAZAAM.

MEANWHILE... Alice and Cyrus have a heart-to-heart over the loss of the necklace, and Alice reveals that she's afraid that they'll never just get to be together, that they'll always be running from one thing to the next.

Just then, they notice fireworks coming from "One of the poorest villages in the kingdom." (Funny, she never cared about their quality of life, but the Queen sure knows how rich all her villages were...)
Of course, they know that where there's a sudden surplus of wealth, there must be a genie. At this point, they decide to split up, because Alice and Anastasia aren't playing nice with each other anyway. Also, this gives Cyrus the opportunity he's been waiting for to...

Stop and propose to Alice? With the Jabberwocky about to be released, and with Jafar about to get his hands on Will, which will make him the most powerful sorcerer who ever lived and powerful enough to change the laws of magic?? Wasn't Alice worried just a moment ago about getting to Will before Anastasia does? Yes, the scene is sweet and heartfelt, but... good grief, don't these people have any sense of timing at all??

MEANWHILE... Will is inordinately stunned by Liz's declaration of love. He tries to make her understand that they can't have a relationship because he is incapable of loving without a heart.

Liz is severely disappointed and she expresses her feelings. "I just wish you could feel something for me!"

Of course, that's her third wish... and I wonder if it violates the Genie Rules, and so this is the reason that, as soon as Will is back in the bottle, Liz falls down dead. He can only watch and mourn the loss. I admit, I got teary-eyed too. What a fantastic character... such a shame!


Not long after this, Anastasia enters the room, sees the dead Liz and the bottle. Alice and Cyrus arrive afterward (side note: they probably would have gotten there first if Cyrus hadn't proposed... but that would mean that something good happened, and the powers-that-be seem opposed to such an event, don't they?) and Alice immediately accuses Anastasia of killing Liz to get the bottle. Anastasia is, for once, innocent of this, but when Cyrus demands that she hands over the bottle, the little sneak goes and rubs it "accidentally on purpose."


Will comes out, and he's relieved to see Alice and Cyrus... until he discovers that it was Anastasia who rubbed the bottle... Poor guy.

Now they have to all work together, because she's the master of the genie. Will returns with a rousing burn, "No thanks, I'd rather take my chances with the homicidal maniac with the snake stick!"

At this time, Anastasia reveals that he has two other genies. Cyrus gets all worried about that, reveals that he wasn't always a genie, that him and his two brothers were cursed to be genies all those years ago. 

Will takes the liberty of refusing Anastasia's help, because she's always chosen the easy way out, and now that she has a genie and three wishes, she now holds "The mother of all short cuts." Of course, the quickest way to get a belligerent person to do what you want is to suggest that they will do the opposite--so Anastasia plays it brave and says she'll stay and help them get Cyrus' brothers back instead of escaping Wonderland while they still can. There's four of them, and Jafar's on his own... what could go wrong?

MEANWHILE... Jafar is inside the prison holding the Jabberwocky. There are bodies, lots of dead bodies. A disembodied voice taunts him with all that he's ever feared, and she seems to be able to read his deepest thoughts and suppressed memories.

He tries to play it confident, but the woman breaks through his bravado, laughing all the way. She introduces herself as the Jabberwocky and offers to help him get what he wants, if he will only free her. Only then do we get our first look at the Jabberwocky.

She is pinned to the wall by a simple knife called the Vorpal Blade. Once she is free, the Jabberwocky slyly tries to get the blade (which is the only thing that can kill her or wound her in any way) but Jafar decides to keep it as insurance, to make sure she'll do what he wants. He also seeks a demonstration of her abilities.

The Jabberwocky proceeds to describe in detail his deepest, darkest fear, based on the memory of the Sultan trying to drown him. Suddenly, Jafar is unable to breathe and begins to "drown" right there in the prison. She backs off just in time, and grins. She preys and feeds on people's fear. She tells Jafar, "You were right to keep that blade. You never know when you might need it."

FINAL SCORE: A moment of silence for the Dear Departed Lizard. I really think she could have been an awesome tag-along if they would have let her go on living. Finally, someone for whom Will would be willing to regain his heart! But no... The selfless, genuine girl has to die, while the vapid, selfish, spoiled one gets to go on living. Oh crumb! Will's reaction to being a genie is always hilarious. Poor guy; at least he doesn't get turned into the "noble ninny" that Cyrus is being... he's still the same old Will... not happy about having to do stuff for people he doesn't like! Alice and Cyrus are sappy (and slow on the up-take) as ever... but the Nameless Guard gets factored in for his spectacular face-off with Jafar!

The Villains get full marks this time, and it's only because of the addition of the Jabberwocky. Finally, a villain we can feel really good about hating!

The graphics were decent at best, nothing spectacularly failing or impressive about them this time around. The banter--courtesy of Will becoming a genie--was wonderfully done, with lots of good lines and funny ones too, and the conflict did an admirable job setting up the arc that would end up finishing the series. All in all, a 9/10!

Heroes: 4/5
Villains: 5/5
Graphics/VFX: 4/5
Banter: 5/5
Conflict/Resolution: 5/5
TOTAL SCORE: 9/10

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