A Preemptive Strike By Leslie

*Comes out of the Panic Room and surveys the carnage: Jess lays, strapped to the Frankenstein table from "Monster Movie", nearly comatose; Emily is passed out at the control board, her paralyzed hands still gripping the lever; Calmly, Leslie takes her seat in an odd-looking armchair with a lightbulb attached at the top*

Well, I suppose my turn had to be coming, hadn't it? But since the two are... *ahem* indisposed for the moment, I believe this is my opportunity to conduct my own interview with impunity. Ready?

1. Primary Fandom? Off the top of my head, as far as famous fandoms go, I would certainly say Sherlock ... But really, that's a class unto itself, rooted in a long tradition with expert show runners. As far as "regular" shows that I avidly follow and have seen every episode at least twice and am deeply immersed in all the fandom and fanfiction at LEAST as ardently as Emily is devoted to Supernatural, it would be Grimm.

Why in the world would you choose that show? Bias, obviously--it's filmed and set in my area! But, aside from the setting, I am deeply a fan of the awesome writing--from the development of the protagonists and the consistency of the villains, to the inventive story arcs and the fact that it's been three seasons and there is still lore from the first season that has yet to be pursued. I am convinced that it certainly has the potential to be every bit as amazing as Supernatural.

2. Secret fandom crush? What the... How the heck did that get in here? [looks between the two comatose girls, secretly suspecting that one or the other (or both) might be a poltergeist] Oh brother... I guess I had it coming, didn't I? Well guess what... It's Gabriel Vaughn, from the little-known show, Intelligence. (Don't know him? Bummer! Hey, it's not my fault a perfectly good show got cancelled by the time it got its legs under it!)

Yeah, I know... Somebody that good-looking would be an obvious choice... but I'm not the kind of girl who is a sucker for good-looking men, because there are a LOT of hot jerks out there, am I right? 

So... Why him? Because I adore his portrayal: he is chivalrous, snarky, strong, humble—and a solid team player to boot! If there is anybody I'd want to have my back in a dangerous situation, it's him.  I always love that when a protagonist is actually moral. Nothing sullies a good crush like rooting for a guy who would not be the sort of guy you would date in real life.

3. Favorite character couple? Hmm, I might have to go with Detective Kevin Ryan and his wife Jenny on Castle--even though she's only been on a few times, with him being a secondary character and all. But the relationship is fantastic. THEY ARE TOTALLY THE CUTEST COUPLE ON TV!!!

Really? What makes you say that? Well, for starters, they're a real-life couple--and the chemistry really shows. And in an era of television where it seems like so many shows ride on romantic ambiguity, the existence of a solid relationship in a show is a thing of beauty. (And considering that it's ABC--the most notorious offender for Unnecessary Romantic Angst--it's even more remarkable!)
   

4. You mentioned earlier that you write fanfiction; what kind of fanfiction do you write? Mostly it's "fan-made episodes" of shows that I really like, the ones that have plenty of lore for me to work with. So when I write a fanfiction, you're going to get a complete story.

How many fanfics have you published? I've started 25, to date. Twenty-one of them I managed to complete, and the other four are still in progress.

Holy smokes! Any of them one-shots? Nope, not a one; my shortest fic is 5K+.

Which fandoms? Well, let's see: I have Merlin, Batman, Warehouse 13, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Stargate SG-1, Chronicles of Narnia, Intelligence, Grimm, Once Upon A Time, Eureka, A Gifted Man, Percy Jackson, Haven... and I most recently started a Supernatural/Grimm crossover.

I don't see any Sherlock or Doctor Who in there.... I am convinced I will never be good enough to write a Sherlock episode. You might as well get me to write an entire feature-length film. Nope, never gonna happen. And there is some Doctor Who... I did a Stargate SG-1/Doctor Who crossover, but it didn't really work out and it kinda got picked on a lot because I am definitely a bigger Stargate fan than a Whovian. 

HERESY! Sorry, that's just the way it is.

Do you do any shipping of different characters than the original show, just to see what happens--or maybe because you disagree with a ship that happened? No; I'm really not a fan of fluffy smut, and I don't really do any non-canon shipping in any of my fanfics. It's just good, canon fun, the "Episodes That Should Have Aired", as I like to call them.

Hmph, well okay, moving on...

5. Best finale ever? Eureka's Grand Show Finale.

Really? Yep.

Not even going to think about it? Nope.

Yeah right... I bet you'd break down crying if I mention the R-Word. What R-word?

Reichenbach. HA! Well, I'll admit, that got me pretty good... but as I said before, I regard Sherlock as a class all of its own... hence it's just Eureka versus the rest of TVLand. And Eureka wins.

Why? If you haven't seen the show, you won't get it... but believe me when I say I had the BIGGEST FREAKOUT OF MY LIFE (Pre-Sherlock, of course) when it ended... but in a good way... and no other show finale has even come close. 

Suddenly, over by the lever, an errant spark flickers at Emily's fingertips, and she drags herself upright.....

Oh boy.... here it comes....

Oh Leslie, What About Mal From Firefly/Serenity? (Also Known As Richard Castle, Captain Hammer, and Hermes?) What are your thoughts on him? Nathan Fillion? Brilliant man... absolutely stunning actor, he can deliver the most screwball lines with absolute sincerity, and evidently he's the same great guy off set and on... Richard Castle has to be his best role, though; he gets to be a father, a romantic... and I'm pretty sure he nails the "writer" psyche pretty dang well...

The great thing about Nathan is that he has been a part of so many big-ticket items (and he knows it) so practically every appearance since Firefly has contained some reference to another show. (Like all the Firefly references on Castle--plus some guest appearances by Zoe Washburne and Jayne!--and when Hermes assures Percy Jackson that "Hercules Busts Heads" is the "Best show on television... except Castle.") He totally does it. (Incidentally, the Richard Castle novels are jam-packed with references to the show! It's hilarious!)

Favorite SPN episode that you have seen? Gee whiz, it's always about SPN for you, isn't it? *eye roll* Well... for laughs I would have to go with The French Mistake, obviously... But as far as the dynamic between the brothers and really delving into motivations and psyche in a truly AMAZING way, I'd have to say After-School Special. Just, you know, accentuating the difference between how Dean views life outside of hunting as... really, as what he says in Slash Fiction: "I deserve something good in my life right now." He is convinced that what he does while hunting makes him such an amazing guy and a perfectly irresistible hero that it doesn't matter what he does in his "me-time." Whereas Sam, even at that young age, around people they will only see for about a month and then never again, is still looking out for kids who are getting picked on, looking for the kids who need his help. 

Favourite Buffy character and/or episode? (Haha... Told ya you'd like that series...) Spike, duh. James Marsters is the reason I started watching Buffy! (after his guest appearance on my favorite show at the time, Warehouse 13) His accent is wonderful, and he's got such a panache and flair in his delivery, and his comedic timing is dead-on. He knows how to "sail the dream-boat" without preening and making all serious fangirls gag; he's a "villain" but he's too likeable and noble to really be hated ever at all!

Bored, Emily starts fiddling with buttons on the control panel. She strikes one, and Jess stirs...

Why do you love Nathan so much? What is the thing you see in him that makes you go back for more? Geesh, excited much? No really, the thing I love most about Nathan is his impeccable delivery. He can find himself in the strangest situation and he handles it perfectly. There is not a missed beat, a dropped word--and his ad-libbing is a thing of beauty. The thing that keeps me coming back to shows like Castle is the absolute assurance he has given that he can deliver the most shoddy writing with total conviction. He's just an all-around great guy who receives marvelous roles and knows how to entertain viewers without resorting to juvenile tactics, potty humor, or nudity (except when some corn-ball writer can't help himself.... but even then, Nathan owns it without the slightest hesitation)

What are your thoughts on Caskett? Early on in the show, I remember groaning, "Oh dear sweet mother of pie, not another one!" But then... 

As it turned out, the writers managed to take "yet another romantic fling" and turn it into a thing of beauty. It starts out cliche, but--unlike so many TV relationships--it actually works out, and it's obvious that both sides are willing to do whatever it takes to stay together, instead of calling it quits and packing it in the minute the going gets tough. There is a lot to be learned from being able to write a leading couple like that!

Who is your favorite character in Grimm? Yay Grimm!! I'd have to say...

 Sean Renard... and not because of the shirtless factor... I'm actually a super-fan of the actor, Sasha Roiz. My choice of Renard is also due to the fantastic writing.

Renard served as the "Villain Enabler" for Season 1--and so of course I hated him. HATED. HIM. SO. BADLY. He was in league with all the bad guys and he was powerful, and he was able to use his authority to make things difficult for the hero.

Season 2 brought on a love triangle--which in every other show spells the kiss of death for the hero who has basically felt that he has to lie and keep his alternate ego a secret because he's afraid of losing his girl... and then of course her lack of knowledge threatens her life and their relationship... but Renard (the second man of the triangle) responds to the goings on LIKE NO OTHER MAN IN TV HISTORY and ends up on the side of the good guys, helping them out (at least so far...). Seriously, that Love Triangle Resolution is the best thing to ever happen in a TV show, and it certainly was the best thing to happen on Grimm. (That, and the hero ends up actually telling his girlfriend the truth, and SURPRISE, she accepts it!)

Leslie sees that there are no further questions.

Are we done here? Guys? Wait... no, Emily, what are you doing?

 Wat r u doin? Stahp! Get away from that lev--Jess? Help me out here!

NOOO!!!!

Why Is Merlin So Irresistible?

             Ummm...on reviewing things, maybe I should rephrase that title. Why Is The BBC Show 'Merlin' So Irresistible? There. That's much better!

             I've spoken before on this site about this bewilderingly addictive television show. It's campy, it's meandering, it's not very well structured, and it really shouldn't have made it past Series 3. And yet, despite all of the nit-picking and complaining I do about this show, I do honestly love it dearly. I followed it religiously while it was actually still airing and I slapped down the money for the DVD collections with barely a second thought. Believe me, that says something. I'm a very stingy person when it comes to buying media. I don't even own the DVD collections for Doctor Who yet!

           It has left me confused (and bemused) for years that a campy little show distorting my beloved tales of Camelot quite this much could hold my attention for so long. Granted it does have an awesome dragon voiced by John Hurt, but John Hurt is just one aspect of the show...so what is it? Well, let's take a look!

The Premise - Come on! It's Arthur Pendragon and Merlin Emrys as teenagers getting into shenanigans, swordfights, and sorcery duels! What's not to like?! Okay, so I know that when it's just described like that it sounds rather cheesy. And it is. It's EXTREMELY cheesy and campy and (insert every other adjective to that effect here)! But that's one of its strengths. It is unusual and never-been-done-before and is a story that focuses more on the journey than the destination. It shows Arthur's journey from prattish prince to strong king with Merlin by his side and working from the shadows every step of the way. But more so even than that, it is a story about prejudice and friendship and family and betrayal. You know...the good stuff.


The Writing - I know, I know...I complained about how bad it was, how could it ever be a good point? See the thing is, this show is terribly campy. It's melodramatic. It often doesn't pay off its own grandiose themes. But it knows it. In the early seasons, at least, the show was very self-aware and had an excellent sense of humor. I've always said that where the show started to fall apart was when it began to take itself too seriously and push 'darker, edgier, scarier'. This is no Supernatural, guys, they just don't have the gravitas to pull off both epic story-lines and dark concepts. The best thing about Merlin is the banter. Good golly gracious is the banter perfect!

The Characters - I've said it before and I'll say it again: for any form of media to work (be it film, television, literature, or music) the characters that are used in the story have to be well-written, well-rounded, and feel like real people. And the Merlin characters fulfill every one of those requirements, thanks in a large part to the chemistry and charisma of the actors. Let's examine this wonderful main cast...



Merlin

           Just because the main (and titular) character is an ADORABLE wide-eyed, big-eared wizard who's just begging to be gathered up in a big, squishy hug, that doesn't automatically mean that the show is going to be good. What works about Merlin? Well aside from the fact that he is the first young version of the character to be portrayed in popular media, he would be charming to watch even if he had a different name. A lot of this can be attributed to Colin Morgan (some of you may know him as Jethro from Doctor Who: Midnight) who takes the role and imbues it with such life and character that he is a joy even in the most depressing and badly-written episodes. It also helps that he isn't the typical 'chosen one who doesn't want his destiny' persona. At the beginning he doesn't want it, not because he thinks he's unworthy or because he doesn't want the attention, but because he thinks that his destiny (Arthur) is a prat. But he very quickly comes to befriend the prince and embraces his destiny whole-heartedly, even as everyone he loves must be sacrificed.


Arthur Pendragon
        Ah yes, our beloved oblivious, allergic-to-a-shirt crown prince of Camelot! Where would we be without him? Arthur is the brawn to Merlin's brains and frequently see-saws from being just and wise and disgustingly noble to snarky and oblivious and extremely childish. It's just two facets of his personality that are always at war. It's also the reason why we love him so much...well, along with the wonderful Bradley James who works so hard and puts his all into the performance in a way that really shines through and gives real personality to the often stuffy and uninteresting Arthur. We all know that there's a sensitive, kind soul hidden underneath that sarcastic, stand-offish personality. We all know that a great king lies beneath the pratty prince. The fun is the journey to getting there. The fact that he's also a handsome young fellow who tragically lost his mother and has daddy issues is only the icing on the cake for fanfic writers.


Gwen (Guinevere)
          To anyone going to start a rant about how 'not true to character' Gwen is or (even worse) how unattractive she is, this is your cue to leave now. Seriously...please get out. First of all, this is a show about the teenage years of the wizard Merlin where he is Arthur's servant and Arthur wasn't raised alongside Sir Kay because Uther was a dead adulterer. Secondly, Angel Coulby is a beautiful, talented, friendly, and all-around wonderful person who throws everything she has into her acting and does wonders to breath life into Guinevere's sometimes-dull and erratically-written character. Besides...since when did whether or not we like a character have to do with their looks anyway?!


Morgana LeFay/Pendragon
         I always really enjoy the villains on this show. Being quite knowledgeable of Arthurian Legend 'canon', I was just waiting for Morgana to show her dark side. Granted it didn't happen quite the way I was expecting it to, but to be quite honest I'm relieved that Family Show guidelines don't have room for the whole original Mordred's origins story. (Blech) Morgana's story is a tragic one. I really love how all the villains on this show are given somewhat sympathetic backgrounds. They're either fighting for their country and go too far, fighting for a set of twisted ideals, or have just been hurt SO badly that they feel they have to strike back and protect others. That makes them delightfully human and relatable, even as we see that they're doing the wrong things. It's not that their actions are justified or that they're shown to be merely anti-heroes, they're definitely villains, it's just that they have a fleshed-out back-story and reasons for what they do that makes them seem more real and less cartoon-y. Morgana is a prime example - a lost and scared little girl that let her anger fester inside her heart until she opened herself up for corruption.


Uther Pendragon
         Oh Giles...tsk, tsk, tsk. I actually really like the character of Uther Pendragon, for all he is an insufferable and prejudiced jerk. To be honest the only time I don't like a character is when they feel two-dimensional, badly-written, and clichéd to the point of nausea. Uther is quite complex. He's heavy-handed and hard-hearted at times, but he truly tries to do what he thinks is best for his kingdom. He can be stern and stand-offish, but despite his mistakes he honestly loves his children. In that way he reminds me a lot of John Winchester from Supernatural (another father figure that I seem to be primarily alone in liking). Many people don't seem to bother looking beneath the surface of his actions, but if you watch closely you'll see all the subtle hints and clues that Anthony Head puts into his performance to make it something great.


Gaius
        A slight deviation to the usual 'elderly mentor' figure in that he actually manages to survive to the bitter end of the show. Will wonders never cease?! Okay. So Gaius is the Court Physician of Camelot and Merlin's guardian/mentor. He is also a former sorcerer and a close friend of Uther (in addition to being the resident exposition machine). We get the feeling that Gaius and Uther share a relationship very close to that of Merlin and Arthur. Gaius also has an epic eyebrow raise that he gives Merlin whenever the young warlock is getting out of line. It's earned him the fandom nickname of The Dude With The 'Tude & The Bro With The Brow (don't look at me...I didn't come up with it!)

Book Review: Eats, Shoots & Leaves

                   Hahahahaha! Heeheeheeheehee! Hawhawhawhaw! Teeheeheeeheeehee! 

        Ah me! *wipes eyes* I can't remember the last time I laughed this hard over a book! (Probably my first reading through The Long Patrol by Brian Jacques.) Seriously, I'm almost crying right now. This is probably the single greatest thing on writing and punctuation that I have EVER read! (And that includes an article that likened misplacing an apostrophe to landing lights for a cesspool.)

       I'll admit that I am not a saint when it comes to grammar and punctuation. Heck, if a grammar nerd ever really wanted to sink their teeth into this blog I'm sure they'd end up with an ulcer and possibly an aneurysm. I know whenever I look back at some of my early, early posts I feel like I'm about to go into one.

       But I still staunchly maintain the opinion that earlier mentioned article submitted: grammar is important, but you don't have to be a Nazi about it. In the end the question comes down to did you write coherently, did you get your point across, and is everything legible enough that folk can read it without inducing a migraine? The occasional comma splice isn't the end of the world, especially in non-formal, just-for-fun writing. (Good thing too, because if it is I need to go find me some Winchesters...and maybe The Doctor too.)

      Like anything in life, when it comes to grammar you have to take the zero tolerance approach. You can't bend the norms of art until you've learned them and you can't break the rules of music until you know them inside and out. Likewise, one can't relax on their grammar until they know exactly what they are doing. Otherwise things will morph and bloat from the occasional misplaced semicolon to a great, big, bubbly cauldron of certain literary death. Or at least one would hope for certain death rather than be subjected to so horrible a fate as to be force-fed a diet of YouTube comments and some of the less-than-legible blogs that are floating around the Internet.

       This book, Eats, Shoots & Leaves, takes a very light-hearted and humorous approach to grammar and punctuation. It lays out the basic rules of what you need to know, and it illustrates those rules with funny stories, jokes, and practical applications. By the end of it you will be in tears (of laughter) and will know quite a bit more about the Queen's English and the proper usage of it. You may also feel like weeping for the future of the English-speaking world.

Top Ten Doctor Who Villains

            I love villains. Villain songs, villain plots, villain costumes...I just love those dastardly characters. And Doctor Who certainly has an impressive cast comprised of robots, aliens, and the odd human being who has gone off the deep end.

            Needless to say, I have a hard time picking which one is my favourite. And whenever I do, I'm sure that I don't speak for the rest of my fellow Whovians, given the fact that I have some strange tastes. So whenever this particular top ten list came up on my to-do queue, I decided to take a poll. The questionnaire ran throughout the month of May and, from the various replies and opinions I received from that, I have narrowed down a general consensus on the Top Ten Doctor Who Baddies.


       

10: Mr. Clever 

9: The Beast 

8: The Cybermen

7: Unnamed Creature of Midnight

6: The Silents

5: The Empty Child 

4: Vashta Nerada 

3: The Master 

2: The Daleks

1: Weeping Angels

Top 10 BBC Sherlock Moments: "A Study In Pink"

            Okay, so admit it. We ALL have our favourite BBC Sherlock moments. That is why I have decided, after re-watching this show for the millionth time, to compile these lists of some of the best, most light-hearted, and most awesome scenes between our two boys. From A Study In Pink to, yes, His Last Vow. Who can forget Donovan’s customary greeting of “Freak” or the deer-stalking death frisbee? So before I start rambling on and on, let’s get down to business!

Do not proceed if you do not desire to see: SPOILERS, SPOILERS, SPOILERS!

10. All the "Wrong" things to say...

     So here we are, sitting in the conference room watching a very harassed Detective Inspector Lestrade and Detective Sergeant Sally Donovan trying to answer (more like control) a bunch of idiotic journalists. The reason why they are doing this is because there have been a string of suicides that that have been happening and people need to be warned. While Lestrade and Donovan are busy lecturing the crowd, (and unintentionally ticking some people off at the same time - I think they’ve been hanging around Sherlock too much...) all of the journalist's cell phones go off And all of them say only one thing - "Wrong!". The faces of those media folk are brilliant!

          The little notes that pop up everywhere are an added awesome bonus; not a boring smart phone screen in sight! Then when Greg says that all the deaths are linked, everyone’s phones go berserk for a second time, (Geez what must this texters airtime bills come to at the end of the month?!) all saying the same thing. It takes a few seconds but then; guess what, Lestrade gets one too! All it says is simply: "You know where to find me. SH" Three guesses as to who he is..? Oh, and Lestrade’s face? Like a mixture of a teenager rolling his eyes and an exasperated father sighing. Priceless!!!

9. The Introduction of Sherlock Holmes

 After the press attack we move on to somebody else. Yes, he is the beautiful, gorgeous, Benedict Cumberbatch.... (sorry, Sherlock Holmes.) He has an awesome coat, weird but beautiful coloured eyes, and a voice that is sure to melt even the hardest-hearted fangirl into a puddle of goo. Molly, his pathologist, is so obviously an even bigger fangirl towards him than anyone else in the world, poor girl... how does he ignore her advances so obliviously? The poor girl even changes her lipstick and hair and offers to take him out for coffee, but the Great Detective’s sensitive, eloquent reply is a lovely: “Black, two sugars, I’ll be upstairs.” Burn, Molly, you poor girl, burn!

8. The Christmas Serial Murders

       So, at 221B Baker Street, with John, Mrs Hudson, and DI Lestrade, we get told that there has been a fourth murder, and a note has been left at the crime scene, just like all the others hadn’t. Lestrade gives Sherlock a briefing, talks about Anderson for a tiny bit, and then leaves. (I like Lestrade's coat too..) Sherlock, now completely caught up in the moment does a very un-Sherlock-y thing, and goes through a series of movements I cannot describe... it looks like he leaps into the air and clenches his fists triumphantly before twirling around the room happily. Look, here’s a gif to help you picture it...

       
        He does all those movements, all the while saying: ‘Brilliant! Yes! Ah, four serial suicides, and now a note! Oh, it’s Christmas!’ 

7. The Cab Ride of Coolness.

         Ah, the time has come for the awkward-as-anything taxi ride of smug looks and shock! We begin with them both jumping in the cab (duh) and carry on with John semi-staring out the window, but occasionally stealing nervous looks at Sherlock. (Who is ignoring the whole of time and space and completely engrossed in his BlackBerry. What could be keeping his attention for that long anyway?) Sherlock finally comes back from BlackBerry Land with a simple: ‘Okay, you’ve got questions.’ Now it’s time for a game of Stupid-Questions-And-Brusque-Answers. Until we finally get to awesome Sherlock, with his deductive brilliantness, who rattles off the past ten years of John’s life in as many seconds. Poor John, being told his whole life in ten seconds, by some scrawny, lanky pompous bloke he had only met for twenty seconds before and about a minute more, now. 

 

6. Who’s The Creepy Bloke Leaning On An Umbrella?

         Right, so, creepy phone calls from (sadly, not blue) phone boxes, and trying to keep a really awkward conversation going with Square-Eyes-Not!Anthea going done and dusted, our dear war hero has now been driven to some drippy underground parking lot with some creepy bloke leaning on an umbrella. Who  uses umbrellas for something other than the rain in this day and age anyway?! John hobbles over to the bloke, and a very, very weird conversation ensues. Both of these guys are VERY sarcastic, with CreepyUmbrellaBloke’s: (We’ll call him Mycroft, easier to type) ‘Mmm, and since yesterday you’ve moved in with him and now you’re solving crimes together. Might we expect a happy announcement by the end of the week?’ to Mycroft saying that Sherlock does love to be dramatic, and John replying: ‘Well, thank God you’re above all that.’ I could honestly watch those two throw snarky comments at each other for the rest of my life! 

 

5. Whatever You Do, DO NOT Try To Flirt With The BlackBerry Lady!

          Goodbye Mycroft! (thank GOD) Hello Miss-Nothing-Exists-Except-My-Phone, nice to meet you. And your phone. You two should get married. Mycroft’s umbrella can be the bridesmaid! So she tells John she’s taking him home. They have a stop or two (glad John is rid of that grotty place. If he is anything like me (which he is, actually) than I know how staying there must have felt. Cramped, boring and depressing. Awkward Ride The Second ensues, and only when they arrive at 221B, does John ask Not!Anthea if she gets any free time. She replies (sarcastically) that she does, and lots, and implies that John should bugger off. John, of course, as oblivious as Sherlock looks at her expectantly, but she just looks over John’s shoulder at 221B and says ‘Bye.’ John says okay in a really dejected way and watches the car pull away, and then knocks on the front of 221B’s door.

4. Sherlock Has Frenemies! Who’d Have Thought?

        Yeah! Now here is a good one! Bestest Friendly Friend talk always gets ya warm and fuzzy, doesn’t it? Well, not our awesome Great Detective, apparently. How brilliant. Oh well, at least John isn’t so Vulcan...  Sherlock is now pretty much high on three nicotine patches and I have now reverted from saying: ‘It’s a three pipe problem’ to ‘It’s a three patch problem.’ Is that so bad of me...? Anyway, John the disturbed dude is now texting a serial killer (just a normal day’s work, isn’t it?) and the talk of Frenemies come up! Sherlock is more relaxed when talking about his enemies (possibly blokes who might kill him) than about friends. The guy has a bit of a problem, I think... 

3. Superego Holmes.

        Our Dynamic Duo is now walking (and limping) epically down the road. They’re off to Northumberland Street, to catch a murderer. Just a normal... uh... date? They continue on down the road, discussing the murderer. Sherlock thinks the murderer is brilliant, John thinks Sherlock is mad. John's confusion is what leads to THIS line...this line of epic proportions: "That's the frailty of genius, John. It needs an audience." John's answer is simply a heavily implied "Yeah" in Sherlock's general direction. 

2. Le Bloody Brilliant Drugs Bust!

           First thing: Greg Freaking Lestrade! How does he look so relaxed and awesome? I mean Sherlock blustering like: ‘What are you lot doing in MY flat?!’ and Lestrade is like: ‘Oh...’ *gestures airily over his shoulder* ‘A drugs bust. Have you got any tea?’ Anderson makes his presence known with this dumb little wave, and Donovan pulls some eyeballs out the microwave. That’s fun. Not. Sherlock then manages to work out the case and the murderer, all while almost murdering them when they touch his things, and epic slow-mo and awesome voice overs. And AWESOME one-liners like: ‘Oh, look at you lot. You’re all so vacant. Is it nice not being me? It must be so relaxing’ and ‘Shut up, everybody, shut up! Don’t move, don’t speak, don’t breathe. I’m trying to think. Anderson, face the other way. You’re putting me off’ and of course, the fan favourite that has been used countless times: ‘I’m not a psychopath, Anderson. I’m a highfunctioning sociopath. Do your research.’

1. Awww, Sherly Needs A Blanky!

       Here we are. Moment 10. *sniffles* This was so much fun! Anyway, before I start bawling, lets finish it, ‘eh? Sherlock The Traumatised is sitting on an ambulance having just witnessed a murder. The Ambulance blokes keep putting this orange blanket on him (orange is SO not his colour!) and he keeps taking it off. Lestrade comes and interrogates him and he gives a deduced description of the shooter. He putters along at great speed, describing the fella, but peters out when he works out who it is. I have never, ever, ever seen such understanding dawn in someone’s eyes (how DID Ben do it so well?!) and John looking so innocent is adorable. I wanna hug him. Like, RIGHT now. Anyways, once Sherly and his Blanky work out who the shooter was, he abruptly stops and shuts Lestrade down, saying he needs to discuss rent and: ‘Oh, what now? I’m in shock! Look, I’ve got a blanket!’ and he brandishes the blanket at Lestrade. He then talks to John a bit, about gunpowder and giggling at crime scenes, then takes the blanket off and discards it in a police car, leaving the poor Blanky heartbroken forever more.

 

Well, there you go. It’s done. That is a shocker. Didn’t think I’d get it done so quickly. Anyways, thank you to all of you that have read this, I really hoped you enjoyed my wry sense of humour and weird turn of phrase. This has been the most fun I have had in YEARS. Anyway, see you at 221B, for the next installment of my Top 10 Moments, I might possibly also be in the TARDIS. *becomes all mysterious with my collar and cheekbones* We shall see. I now leave you with one last parting shot...